Date: Wed, 8 Aug 2012 00:46:43 -0700 From: naomiknowsit Subject: Naomis story Part 2 Naomis story Part 2 As for me like I said that was a defining day. From then on it was like always inside of me was a simmering. It didn't interfere with my schoolwork, thank goodness. And mostly I was oblivious to it. But then a new girl would come into class or an older girl would look at me with a smile or a female teacher would put a hand on my knee while explaining something to me. And I was aware of myself. I felt that simmering. I thought others might be able to see it even because if felt strong but I realized soon that it was only strong to me. I would be aware of my panty, how it felt against me. Or the way my blouse would move against my nipples. Or I felt sweaty under my arms. I liked the feelings but it was frustrating. I knew at age 9 no one would think of me having those feelings and even if they did they wouldn't think of approaching me even though I so wanted it, even though I wasn't sure what exactly I wanted. Oh don't misunderstand. At 9 I was aware of penises and vaginas and sex and knew the better words from looking things up and from health lessons. But everything beyond that was rumor or my imagination and I couldn't be sure. And besides the feelings inside me I found myself behaving in new ways. Like when a friend I liked "that way" would be talking to me and all of a sudden I was just watching her mouth and would lose track of what she was saying. I would think about how soft her lips were and of kissing her, like with Marisa. Or I'd be walking down the hall behind some older girls or a teacher who happened to be wearing a thin blouse and would find myself watching the bra strap. I would laugh at myself about things like that but it was all tied to that simmering. Then I did something that it is hard for me to admit to but I want to be open. One of my friends, Lauren, had a mother (she let us c all her Irene) every girl had a kind of crush on. She was voluptuous and noisy and friendly and didn't blink if we said something silly or about sex but treated us like it was okay. So there was a swim party at Lauren's and being who I am I drifted upstairs at some point and found myself looking for and finding Irene's room. I had thought just to peek in as a way of being closer to her than the other girls wre but there on her bed were...Oh God...a pair of her panties. The way they were on the bed I knew she had taken them off to change into her swimsuit. Yes, I took them. I did. My mother made sure I wore a swim jacket for when I got out of the pool and so it had pockets and I stuffed Irene s panty into it and went downstairs again as if someone was following me. I think this was my second main day of change. It began my thinking about if I was a Lesbian, thinking about boys to see how I felt. But I get ahead. When I got home I took Irene's panty and put it under the pillow on my made bed and could not think of anything else until finally I was in my PJS and getting into that bed. I remember looking at the other pillow under which was Irene's panty and putting off anything like it was dessert. Finally I took the panty and put it on top of the pillow, spread out like it was on display at an underwear shop. This was when I got my first whiff of the smell of...of pee. And for the first second or two I did an internal "icchh" and then found myself not exactly liking the smell but wanting it because it was Irene. I remember turning toward that other pillow and starting to breathe in hard to take in the smell and found that it got richer and not so stale and that suddenly there were "rear" smells and mysterious smells and that my ever-present simmering was on high as my body quivered with the most distinctly sexual feelings I had yet had. I took Irene's panty and fondled...that's the right word, it is...I fondled the material, especially the taffeta crotch. I took the panty to my cheek and my face and breathed in more and then...whew...I put my tongue out and tasted the crotch and pulled it into my mouth and absorbed all I could of Irene. Later I slid Irene's panty along my bare skin while still bringing it again and again to my face and mouth, my sensations overwhelming and unrelenting and frighteningly wonderful. Like I mentioned, this began my examining my feelings. The kissing with Marisa was not all for me...not enough anymore. I liked females, I liked them in ways I hadn't even dreamt of. And boys...I was curious about being...well...being fucked by a boy (sorry) but not filled with any simmering in that regard. Was I Lesbian I asked myself? Did other girls feel like I did at age 9...maybe friends I knew from school? Who could I ask, talk to, explore with?