56 __Joe_Bates_Saga__________________________________________________________ 56. Chapter Joe just decided on what to wear, and finished slipping into new, snug fitting Levi's and a sleeveless cotton top when he heard Jay's 944 roll up the drive. "Oh God, he's here already." Joe thought, glad he didn't lay around too long before he dressed. In a moment, the door bell sounded, and Joe walked slowly to the back door. He saw Jay's smiling face through the glass. "Hi. Hope I'm not too early." Jay said cheerfully. "No, I'm ready." Joe announced. "And I'm hungry too." "Good." Jay said, walking inside. Jay followed his friend through the house to Joe's room. "You're looking really nice this evening, Joe." Jay complimented stiffly. Before, he would never have said anything like that. "Thanks Jay, I guess..." Joe returned, feeling awkward accepting such a compliment from his best friend. He knew things were different, but he continued to hope things would just be like before. Jay watched as Joe took a little leather handbag from the dresser, smiling with embarrassment when he realized Jay was watching his every move. Suddenly, for some reason, it was embarrassing to do such a simple but "female" thing with his old friend watching. "You know, the car is really running great." Jay said, sensing Joe was embarrassed, and hoping to move the topic to something different. "Oh, yeah?" Joe countered. "Think it might stay with the Mazda now?" "Hah, you wish!" Jay shot back. The argument as to who had the quicker car was long standing. Joe was glad for the ice breaker. It was suddenly more like old times. When they got to Jay's car, Jay followed Joe to the right side and opened the door for him. Joe's face became slightly red with embarrassment as he awkwardly maneuvered his softer and slightly wider backside into the firm, high bolstered sport seat of the Porsche. Just no getting away from what had happened, he decided. Jay pulled out of the drive and headed to the PIT bar-b-que. It was an old favorite place for both of them, but never before like this. "I can't wait to get my hands on some of those baby-backs." Jay said. "I've been thinking about them all day." Joe loved baby-back ribs too. He wondered if he could still down a whole slab, and if he dare try. "I guess I really need to watch the calories." Joe said carefully. I sure don't want my butt getting any bigger than it already is." "I think your derriere looks great, my friend." Jay complimented. "It's almost perfect." "Sure, you can say that." Joe countered. "You don't have any idea what its like when your rear-end suddenly becomes the biggest part of your body." "Honest Joe, you really look great." Jay repeated. "Maybe you just have to get used to the way it all feels." "Uh huh." Joe said, trying to force a smile. "Just get used to it, that's all. Just get used to it." "OK, I guess it is kind of hard." Jay conceded. "But you really do look great. Gorgeous." In a few minutes, they pulled into the almost full parking lot of the Pit. Joe studied the cars to see if there was any one there he knew. It didn't look like there was, and he was glad. He didn't feel like talking about his problem with any of his other old buddies. He knew that by now, the word had probably spread all over town. "Did you hear, Joe Bates had a SEX-CHANGE?" That kind of rumor would spread like a grass fire. When they stopped, Jay hurriedly went to the right side in an attempt to open the door before Joe could beat him to it. "Come on, Jay." Joe whined. "Please. Lay off with the Sir Walter Raleigh, OK?" "Well, Joe... I mean, you know, I mean, you are a girl now... and everything." Jay stammered, uncharacteristically. "Woman." Joe corrected. "I don't know for sure what I am exactly, but if I can't be a man anymore, then at least say I'm a woman, not a girl." "A very pretty woman." Jay added. "Come on!" Joe ordered. "Let's stop with the boy-girl stuff for a while, can you?" "But, I... uhh." Jay stammered again. "I really appreciate it, I really do." Joe admitted. "I know I have learn to get used to that stuff, but just for now, can't we try to act like everything's kind of like it used to be, even if it isn't." "I, uhh." Jay said. "Just act like nothing happened, right?" "Yeah, that's the idea" Joe said. "I realize it might be a little difficult." "A little difficult?" Jay returned. "Yeah, It might just be a little difficult all right." "But, let's try anyway, OK?" Joe asked. "I'll do my best, Joe." Jay said honestly. "But I don't really think it will work." They entered the Pit and luckily found one empty booth. They took seats across from each other. Both had been here many times before, but this was the first time they were there together, with no one else. Usually they were double-dating. Joe_Bates_Saga________________________________________________________61__ A waitress came to the table almost immediately. She immediately gave Jay a look of recognition. "What can I get for you and this pretty lady this evening, Mr. Logan?" She said with mock respect. "I'll have a long-neck Coors Light, Bonnie." Jay said, grinning. "Miss?" "I'll have the same." Joe said, giving Jay a frown as he spoke. Jay was grinning from ear to ear. As waitress went for the drinks, Jay spoke. How did the trip north go, pretty lady... Uh, I mean Joe?" Jay teased. "OK, OK, I guess I'll have to get used to it." Joe conceded. "Just try not to rub it in so often, OK?" Sure, pretty lady." Jay continued. "But seriously, did you have a good trip?" "Oh, yeah, for the most part." Joe said seriously. "Tim went along, and I let him fly most of the way. He loves it and needs the time. He's actually pretty good too." "Last time I say Tim he looked like he wasn't a day over fifteen." Jay considered. "I can't believe how young you all are looking." "Yeah, it's getting to be a concern for us, but for him especially, since he was so young when it happened." Joe said. "You certainly look more attractive all the time." Jay complimented. "I'm sorry, but you really do. I don't know how you can live with yourself, with your body so changed like that." Joe grinned with embarrassment. "I'm getting used to it, I guess." He replied. "I still have to remember to avoid the men's room when I'm out, but otherwise, if I don't wear a damn skirt, it's really not all that different. I can hardly even remember what it felt like before." "I think I'd just be touching myself all the time." Jay confided, staring at Joe's chest. "I know I couldn't keep my hands off those things. Joe grinned and sat up a little straighter, emphasizing the new voluptuousness. The outline of a white bra showed clearly through the sleeveless cotton shell. "Actually, I'm starting to forget they're there, sometimes." Joe admitted. "Even if they do seem to be getting rather huge." "They're hardly huge." Jay corrected. "You look very well proportioned, if you ask me." "Well, I sure feel huge when I forget and roll over at night." Joe revealed. "And it hurts when they get pinched between my arm and the mattress." "Can you feel them right now?" Jay asked, sounding more like a curious little boy than a grown man. "Ummm, not really, I guess." Joe considered, looking down at his chest and wiggling his bosom slightly. "Sometimes, I can tell when I walk. Almost all the time though, when I don't wear a bra." "Hmmm, I would have thought you could notice them more wearing a bra." Jay thought out loud. "I would have suspected that too, before I got 'em." Joe agreed, grinning. "But with a bra, there's not as much bounce, and I can't feel myself rubbing against my clothes." "So, you like wearing a bra then?" Jay asked, his curiosity very apparent by the interrogation. "Well, I guess if I've going to have to sprout boobs, I might as well wear a bra. In a way, it's kind of fun. And it sure makes ''em a lot more comfortable." Joe admitted, still grinning but beginning to show signs of embarrassment at the rather intimate things he was revealing. "It's a bit weird talking about this stuff with you." He said. "Is it getting any easier, Joe?" Jay asked seriously, trying to change the subject a little. Joe looked at his old friend. "I guess I've pretty well resigned myself to spending the rest of my life this way." Joe admitted. "I guess maybe it won't be so bad once I get over old habits, like wanting to pee standing up... And finally adjust to becoming softer, and rounder, and getting younger looking every day." "Is that still happening?" Jay asked. "Can't you tell?" Joe asked. "Sure seems like it to me. My skin is much softer than just a few days ago." "Don't you think it might just be the feminizing effects?" Jay asked. "Hell, I don't know. It's impossible to tell." Joe complained. "This is the first time I've changed sex, you know." "All I can say is that you look absolutely fantastic." Jay complimented again. "If I had to be a gir...woman tomorrow, I'd sure as hell want to look like you." "Am I really that great?" Joe asked. Jay looked at him. "Are you blind?" He asked. "Look at yourself, I don't think I've seen anyone as attractive as you, normal woman, or whatever..." "Do I really look like a woman?" Joe asked. "I mean, honestly...You've seen me, do I really look like a normal woman to you?" "If there's a difference, it's probably that other women don't look nearly as attractive..." Jay said softly. "I don't know what it is, Joe, but you've just got... an aura, or something, I don't know how to say it." "An aura?" Joe repeated. "Jay... It's me here... Your pal, Joe. I hardly think I have an aura." "Well, I don't know what it is, but every time I'm around you... I'm telling you, you've got something." Jay decided. "All I know is that I woke up the other day, with boobs and without a penis. I know I've changed... a lot... but I don't know about an aura." Joe said. "Are you sure you're not just letting that damn middle leg do your thinking?" "Give me a break, will you Joe?" Jay asked seriously. "You must admit, as a woman, you look sexy as hell." "Really?" Joe asked. "You really think I'm that sexy?" "My God, Joe." Jay continued. "I don't care if you were some damn hairy guy a couple of weeks ago. Maybe I don't even know what you are now, exactly, but you sure look like the most gorgeous babe I've ever seen. And yet I can still talk to you like a guy. I find that strangely erotic." "Thanks, Jay, I guess." Joe said, his face reddening with embarrassment. "Don't you even see yourself when you look in the mirror?" Jay continued. "Sure. Of course I do." Joe explained. "But I also see the razor stubble, even if it is in a different place now. I still taste the same fuzzy teeth before I brush in the morning, too." "Convince me your life hasn't changed... a lot." Jay insisted. "Oh sure, it's different now, a lot different." Joe admitted. "But there's a lot that's still the same too." "Wasn't the time we spent... together... Wasn't that... special?" Jay asked. Joe looked at his pal. "Jay, I know we did some things... We had fun in the sack... But... Can't you see... That isn't for me... At least not yet anyway. Hell, I still like women, for Christ's sake." But..." Jay stammered. "I'm sorry if I've been leading you on, or whatever." Joe continued. "Someday, maybe we might even try something together... But not yet. I'm just not ready for anything like that." "But... Wasn't the sex enjoyable for you?" Jay asked, his face looking sullen. "It sure seemed like it." "Enjoyable? Jay, I guess it was the best time I ever had in bed, with anybody." Joe admitted. "But try to understand, it was really just curiosity, that's all." "Joe, I agree, I was mostly just curious at first too." Jay announced. "I mean... You looked sexy as anything... But almost immediately, it wasn't just curiosity anymore. I think I really care for you." "And I care for you, too." Joe returned. "But we just can't start acting like star-crossed lovers. Damn it, I'm still trying to decide just what the hell it is I've turned in to. Just give me some time, OK?" The waitress brought the beer, interrupting the conversation. A long neck with no glass for Jay and a draught in a tall glass for Joe. No long neck bottle. Jay grinned at his pal when he saw what she had done. "Thanks, Bonnie." Jay said. The attractive girl smiled back. "Well, you two seem to know each other pretty well." Joe declared. "Not really." Jay responded. "We went out once or twice, a few months ago, that's all. Were just friends." "I think she likes you." Joe blurted. "Nooo. I don't think so." Jay returned. "Like I said, we're just friends." "She remembers your name, and the way she looks at you... You know, that look... And she looks right through me. She likes you, Logan." Joe said, as if it were the final word. "Well, she probably does see you as competition." Jay agreed. "I would be a pretty good catch, remember?" "In your dreams, Logan." Joe growled. The conversation continued, with Joe nursing the drink slowly. He knew his alcohol tolerance had become much lower and he didn't want to end up in bed with Jay again tonight, even if the concept was strangely appealing. But he could already feel the warmth of the alcohol in his system. They were interrupted again by the waitress. "Ready to order? She asked, smiling. "I'll have the full slab baby-back ribs." Jay ordered. "Miss?" Joe looked at the woman. She was tall, shapely and rather attractive. Her hair was quite short, almost short as his own, but in a feminine bob style, much like the hair stylist had attempted with his hair, though it was still a bit too short. Joe grinned and looked directly at her breasts as he spoke. "I guess I'll have the baby-backs too." Joe said. "But just the half-order, I guess." "Excellent choice." The waitress said curtly, studying the front of her blouse for whatever the young woman found so interesting. "Holy cow, Joe." Jay said, laughing. "You didn't take your eyes off her boobs the whole time she was here." "She had a nice pair, didn't she?" Joe quipped, grinning devilishly at his little behavior. "Ummm, she's built pretty well, I guess." Jay agreed offhandedly. "Better than these?" Joe asked, sitting bolt upright to make his own chest more evident. Jay looked at Joe. What was he doing? "Joe. Your at least as nice as her, Probably better." Jay decided. "You don't think I'm too small?" Joe continued, looking at his own breasts critically. "I believe I'm not quite as big as she is." "What's the point, Joe." Jay asked. "You think I'm so sexy." Joe said softly. "I'm just trying to find out how I rate to some of the real women you've had." "I haven't HAD Bonnie." Jay said, his irritation starting to show. "Well, you've had me." Joe reminded him. "Who do you think would be better, her, or me?" "This is stupid, Joe." Jay complained. "Who?" Joe repeated. "Who would you want, her... Or me?" He grinned. "Joe... We're pals... We're more than pals..." Jay stammered. "I know what's happened to you has made our personal relationship a little different now..." "A little different?" Joe interrupted. "OK... A lot different then." Jay went on. "But we can still be friends. If you don't want to push the boy-girl thing... I can understand that. We can wait as long as you need to." Joe put his face in his hands to hide tears that were just starting to show. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry..." He stammered. "I don't know what I was trying to do just then." Jay looked at his friend. Joe had gone from a cheery, happy-go-lucky attitude to tears, in a matter of seconds. It was totally unlike him. "Don't let it bother you." Jay consoled. "She had no idea what was going on." "I'm not worried about her!" Joe corrected. "Don't you see... It's me... I can't seem to control my emotions anymore!" "Well, it's not like you don't have a right and a reason to get a little emotional once in a while right now." Jay advised. "I mean... Who has gone through what you have?" "I just can't let it overtake me like this." Joe went on. "I just can't." "I think you're doing pretty good." Jay complimented. "If you need a good cry once in a while, I think everyone will understand." "Women do that." Joe snapped. "Not grown men. I not look much like a guy anymore, but just don't want to start acting like a damn woman... Not like this." "Forget it, Joe." Jay insisted. "Everything is going to be OK. And if you feel the need to act a little like a woman once in a while, maybe that's OK too. Maybe you can't help it anymore." "Oh, yeah... That's a welcome thought!" Joe returned. "Maybe I'll start fainting now, too! Stuff like that." "I don't think you'll be fainting." Jay said seriously. "But, maybe your emotions are changing for a reason. Maybe you really are a woman now." Joe gave Jay a look that could kill. "I believe I still know what sex I am, thank you very much!" Joe sneered. "I don't care what I look like... I know what I am... Inside at least." "Maybe you only know what you WERE." Jay went on. "Didn't the doctors say that even your metabolism had changed? Or was it your cell structures? If all that is different now, and I can see with my own eyes that your appearance is changed... I think maybe you need to give it a little more thought." "Damn it! Don't you understand? It's about ALL I think about anymore!" Joe insisted. I'm trying the best I can... I know I usually look like Ronald Macdonald when I try to wear makeup, but I make the attempt, every morning, just because that's what I'm supposed to do... I wear the clothes... I try to act the part... For God's sake, don't tell me I just need to give it all a little more thought!" "Well, maybe you're still a guy, inside then, if that's what you think, but then how do you explain what you just did?" Jay asked. "I don't remember you breaking down like that before." Joe looked at the table. He knew Jay was right. "Yeah... Yeah... I know I've changed. I'm different. Not just my shape... The way I think... I don't know... Will I ever come out of this?" Jay reached across the table and took Joe's hand. The act slightly startled Joe, but he didn't pull away. They looked deeply into each others eyes. "Whatever you decide to do... Whatever you decide you are..." Jay said sincerely. "I want you to know... You can count on me. Nothing's changed... We're still best friends, right?" Joe answered immediately. "Yeah... Sure... Of course." "I don't care if tomorrow you tell me you want to become a nun." Jay went on. "As far as I'm concerned, we'll still be pals." "I could just see you hanging around with a nun, Logan." Joe said, grinning at the outlandish thought. "Well, you'd look pretty good in whatever you decide to wear." Jay said, squeezing Joe's hand lovingly. Joe pulled his hand away. He swatted the top of Jay's hand lightly. "Stop that, damn it." Joe said, teasing. "I didn't come here to hold hands with you." Jay held his hands up as if Joe had drawn a gun. "OK... OK... I won't touch you." He said. "Not unless you ask me anyway. Are you sure you aren't getting "curious" again?" "No. Not at the moment, anyway. And I'll let you know if I need you!" Joe snapped with mock seriousness. A wide grin indicated that his good spirits had returned. "I hope you do, madam." Jay Logan said, using his most dignified voice. They were interrupted by the arrival of the food. As usual, the plates were stacked high with delicious meats and side dishes. Joe looked at Jay's much larger "full rack" with envy. "Sure, and now I'm stuck with this little order." Joe whined comically. "You were the one who was worried about the size of your butt." Jay reminded him. "Yeah... And it's true, too." Joe lamented. "I'll give you some of these, if you need some more." Jay soothed. "Don't worry about your butt." "Sure, you say that now..." Joe teased. "But you won't be coming around when I look like that." He carefully pointed to a large woman sitting across the room facing away from them. Her derriere was very prominent on both sides of the chair she sat in. "I'll just get a bigger car, if that's what it takes." Jay returned. "Who knows, maybe I'd like you even better with "love handles". "God, I sure hope I never get like that." Joe said seriously. "Well, you've got quite a ways to go, if you're going to." Jay noted. "Yeah, but less than two weeks ago I would never have guessed I'd be like this either." Joe reminded him. "Stick with the half rack then." Jay ordered. "I kind of like the car I have now." They settled down to enjoying the feast in front of them. Joe tried his best to eat in a ladylike manner, at least what he thought was a ladylike manner. It was difficult. Jay watched in amusement as Joe picked delicately at the bones, every once in a while relenting and taking a big bite right off the bone. "Eat it like you usually do, Joe." Jay suggested. "Nobody cares... Look, everybody does it." "I'm trying to not wolf my food." Joe reminded him. "Karen said it looks bad when I do that, and I'm trying to break an old habit." "Everybody wolfs food at the PIT." Jay declared. "That's why they come here. Eat up!" They finished the food and talked for a while as they waited for the mandatory piece of apple pie that the PIT was famous for. the The conversation started again as they sipped at cups of coffee as they watched the last of the sun sink below the horizon. "Want to go over to my place for a while?" Jay asked suddenly. Joe looked at his friend. "What's that supposed to mean?" Joe asked, cracking a smile. "I guess it means, do you want to come to my place for a while... We could have a few beers and talk cars, or airplanes, or something..." Jay responded. "Are cars what you have on your mind?" Joe asked suspicously. Jay grinned. "Not really. You know that I just want to be around you some more." Jay said. "Is that really so terrible?" "Of course not... It isn't." Joe agreed. "But appreciate that I understand how you think. I may look different, but it's still me in here, Logan. Remember." "I won't hurt you, Joe." Jay replied. "I would never hurt you, but especially now." "I'm not worried about getting hurt." Joe said. "But I know how I feel... And I think I have a pretty good idea how you feel too... I really don't want to mess around tonight, OK?" "We won't if you don't want to." Jay agreed. Joe laughed. "I never thought I'd ever feel this way, especially about you, at least..." He said, laughing softly. "But I don't completely trust myself with you either." "Hey, if something comes to pass... We're adults... I'll use protection... You won't have to worry about getting pregnant." "You know I don't worry about that." Joe snapped softly. "Maybe you should." The words made Joe stop and think. Jay was right. He really did have to worry about things like that now. Pregnancy was no longer the other persons risk, though he had always shared in such concerns. It was very different for a woman. If conception occured, it would literally happen to his own body. He didn't have to worry about being a father anymore. He could get pregnant. That's really what these soft, sensitive lumps on his chest were ultimately designed for. Babies. Joe felt the small hairs on his back, if he still had any there, stand up as he imagined himself pregnant. Bulging belly. Breasts even more sore that his were already. And what must it feel like when the baby came out... down there... He nervously contracted the muscles of his vagina in sympathy. Oh God, what was going to happen to him? Was this what his future was going to be? He just couldn't imagine himself as somebody's mother. Father? Maybe... But that was obviously impossible now. "I don't want to get pregnant." Joe thought out loud. "Wise move, Bates." Jay agreed. "Neither of us need that right now." Joe looked at his friend again. "Do you realize we could make another human being?" Joe blurted. "Yes, it did cross my mind." Jay answered. "No. I mean it." Joe continued. "You and me... YOU could get ME pregnant. ME. Something that comes out of YOU could make ME a mother... And there's nothing I can do about it. Think about that..." "Happens every day." Jay said matter of factly. "Not to me it don't." Joe snapped. "And it's not going to happen." Jay agreed. "At least not until we want it to." "I'll never want that!" Joe announced. "Not now... sure... of course." Jay agreed. "But someday... Maybe..." "Never!" Joe said loudly. "I can never do that." "Never is a very long time." Jay soothed. "You may change your mind in a few years or so." "If you want kids, then you have 'em, Logan." Joe said, grinning but still serious. "I'm sure the cage will let you have the opportunity too, if you want 'em." "Just wait a while, Joe." Jay said, trying to look wise. You may change your mind. Everybody wants kids someday." "Spend five minutes in the cage and then tell me how you feel about it when to get 'em they have to come out of your body." "Happens every day, you know." Jay repeated. "Not to this woman, it don't" Joe said with certainty. "All right then, maybe we can keep our clothes on, tonight at least..." Jay decided. "How about it?" Joe considered his options. The night was still young and he enjoyed Jays company. An evening with Jay, just talking... joking... What could it hurt? "OK, I'll go to your place." Joe decided. "But no boy-girl stuff, OK?" "Sure. If that's what you want, Joe." Jay agreed. "It's not what I 'WANT." Joe corrected. "Don't forget, I'm still on the medication... I'm sort of off-limits down there." "Oh... Yeah... I forgot about that." Jay mused. "You don't even know half of it, Logan." Joe teased. "Maybe I don't, old friend. Maybe I don't." They finished the dinner and Jay paid the tab. Joe felt a little self conscious letting him pay, but Jay insisted. Some parts of this female stuff might not be so bad. Joe thought to him self as they walked to the car. As they drove to Jays home, they listened to the radio, which Jay tuned to an oldies station. The tune playing made Joe think of another time, maybe ten years ago, when he listened to the same song riding along with his girl friend. Now he was riding in a car, on the right side this time, with his best friend driving, but he wasn't exactly thinking "boy" thoughts now. How weird. "This song reminds me of when I was dating Melody." Joe told Jay. "We used to make out in the car a lot." "Does it make you want to make out now?" Jay asked, more in a teasing way than serious. "I told you, Logan... Off limits." Joe became nervous as they arrived at Jay's house. Although he had been there many times, it was never like this. Like Joe, Jay dated many women. They often bragged about the previous evenings exploits as they helped each other polish or tune their cars. Now, Joe felt like a fly entering a spiders web. He felt very vulnerable. They went inside at the kitchen entrance and Jay stopped at the refrigerator. "Care for a Heinekin?" He asked. "Oh... Yeah, I guess so." Joe decided. "But I really shouldn't." "Stop thinking that boy-girl stuff." Jay insisted. "Take your own advice. I'll try my best to pretend your still a guy." "It don't work like that for me, I'm afraid." Joe said. "I already had one beer. I can't take it like I used to. And I really need to pee." Jay pointed down the hall. "Make yourself at home." Jay insisted. "You don't have to ask. I'll be in the TV room." Joe went to the bathroom to freshen up. He put the lid down and unbuttoned and unzipped his shorts. He looked down at his pubic area as he pulled the cotton underwear over his hips. Two weeks... It was still seemed weird to not find his penis there. He brushed his left index finger along the moist folds, stopping at the sensitive little bud that had once been his male sex organ. "You've come a long way, baby." Joe said under his breath as he took a seat.