Author: Kirsten Addison

Subject: Chrysalis of Kirsten Chapter 2

Chrysalis of Kirsten

By

Kirsten Addison

My name is Steven aka Kirsten. This story is about how I went from a closet cross dresser to becoming a full time transsexual slave. This story is true, based on my journals with dramatic license to make it readable. Names have been changed. This is who I am.

Kirsten Emerges

Mom was due to leave on a Friday and she was a little concerned about leaving me alone. I never did anything that would get me into trouble. I learned a long time ago if I stayed under the radar and stayed out of trouble I could do what I wanted. We went shopping for food and I acted like it was just another weekend hanging with Sophie. She liked Sophie. Friday afternoon we said our goodbye's and she grabbed a taxi to the airport. I took a long bubble bath with moisturizing bath beads and shaved my legs. I didn't have any facial hair, but I shaved anyway. I put on one of mom's kimono's and a pair of pantyhose. Sophie stopped by and I cooked up a small meal. We spent the evening watching a movie. We kind of curled up together on the couch. I folded my legs up by my side and Sophie unconsciously brushed her fingertips up and down my legs. It was a sensation that was electrifying and shot straight to my groin.

“You ready for tomorrow?”, she asked during a commercial.

“Yes and no. I am so looking forward to this and part of me feels like I'm crossing the Rubicon.”

“Well, I think it will be fun. What would you think about me telling Sandy about this?”, she asked.

I was really close with her too. Sandy, Sophie and I; along with Jeff and Georgie always hang out together.

“Let's see how things go. I can only bare my soul to one person at a time.”, I said with a laugh.

I woke up about 8 the next morning. I made some coffee and had my morning cigarette. I washed my face with a good cleanser that Sophie suggested. The last few months I had placed a great deal of focus on skin care. I put on my 'female' body; the padded panty and bra with the forms. Sophie would have to help me with the cincher. I put on the kimono and looked at myself in the mirror. I was still amazed how different I looked! For whatever reason, going through puberty didn't make much of a difference. My voice didn't change much. I had nice skin. Unfortunately, my penis was still about 6” and on the thin side.

Sophie arrived around 11. She had a small bag with her.

“Here, presents.”, She said handing it to me as she walked in.

I looked inside the bag and there was a set of press on nails, a pair of Legg's Silken Mist pantyhose in dark taupe, and a pack of Virginia Slims Menthol 120's.

“Somehow the nylons ended up in my backpack and I knew you bought them for today, I thought the nails would perfect your look and my sister bought the cigarettes and didn't like them. I thought you would due your affinity for long white cigarettes.” She said

“I love it.....thank you!”

She helped me with the cincher and she tightened it up more than the first time. I put on the nylons. She then took a sheet and hung it over the full length mirror in the hallway.

“No looking until were done.” She said with a sly smile.

I brought out my makeup case and we set up on the corner of the kitchen table. She opened the bottle of makeup primer and used a small sponge to cover my face in a very light, even coat.

“This will smooth out your skin and make the foundation look better.”

She then took one of the darker contour sticks and put a light application along my jaw and the hollows of the cheeks. She then used the lighter color on my cheek bones, under my eyes, the top of my nose, the tip of my chin and my forehead.

“The trick to makeup, like painting, is using very small amounts and building up. The contour will change the shape of your face.” She said focused on the task at hand.

She then opened the bottle of liquid foundation and with a makeup sponge, started dabbing tiny amounts all over my face blending in the process. After she let it dry for a minute, she then took a large, round sable brush and blended my whole face with small circular strokes. I was indulging in the attention, the whole idea of me being transformed and the smell of the makeup. My groin was throbbing! Sophie started on my eyebrows. She used a light brown pencil and started with short strokes giving them a high arched shape. Next was eye shadow. I bought an 3 shade metallic emerald green palette just for today. Sophie used a small rectangular brush applied the shadow on the eyelids using small dabbing strokes. She then used the darker green and applied it to the lid crease. I could tell that she was really widening my eyes. Finally, the white mint green went on my brow underneath my eyebrows. She leaned back and appraised her work.....she smiled her evil smile! Next was the eyeliner.

“Ok, what I need to you to do is close your eyes and don't open them until I tell you. If you open when the eyeliner is wet, it will be a giant mess!” She pulled the brush out of the bottle and drew a test line on her hand to see how it went on. I closed my eyes, tilted my head back and then she started on my left eye. I could feel the thick swath and the long tail she drew out. She did a couple more strokes to complete the look. She did my right eye in the same fashion. After about 2 minutes, she said I could open them. She looked at her work and seemed pleased.

“For someone who doesn't wear a lot of makeup, you sure know a lot!” I commented.

“You seen how much makeup Lindsay wears. I watched her.” Lindsay was her older sister and did wear a lot of makeup. I always liked her style.

“Next is eyelashes. Let's take a smoke break.” she said.

“I just noticed how effeminate you've become with your cigarette. Look how your postured.” she observed. She was right. The cigarette was held erect in the fingertips of my left hand. It was totally unconscious. I have always been a tad 'swishy'.

“I think your coming out of your cocoon little butterfly.” she said with a smile. We finished our cigarettes and got back to work.

She took the eyelash curler and leaned over.

“This is going to feel weird. Don't blink.” She placed the jaws of the curler on the base of my eyelashes and closed them. She released and went to the middle. She repeated on the other side. She then took the mascara and plunged the brush up and down. She brushed the mascara on using 3 coats, allowing each to dry for a minute.

“You have really long lashes! I never noticed before. Probably due to your blond hair. She then looked through the 5 different sets of false eyelashes we bought. She chose a the House of Lashes Boudoir Mini pair that looked really thick but flared and wispy. Sophie squeezed a tiny bead of the lash adhesive on to a toothpick then applied a thin layer on the lash band.

“Don't move!” She placed the lash in a pair of tweezers and placed them right on the lash line. She pressed them in place with the tweezers. She repeated on my other eye. She then took our the loose powder and the large round sable brush and applied the powder. Pleased with her work, she picked up what looked like chap stick in a lipstick tube.

“This is lipstick base. It will keep the lipstick from bleeding on the edges.” She said. After she applied it, she dabbed my lips with a tissue. She then picked up the lip liner. She started drawing the shape of my lips. I could feel that she was enlarging the shape of my mouth. Next, she took the fire engine red and filled in the rest. She stood and stepped back.

“You look really hot!” Now I was dying to see her work.

Sophie went into my mom's bathroom and returned with a can of mousse, brush and a hair dryer. She moussed my hair, dried and brushed into style. I wore my hair in kind of a unisex style, a razor cut similar to Dorothy Hamill.

“Come on, let's get you dressed.” All my things were laid out on the back of the couch. I ready had the top and bottom black half slip on. I put on the blouse and it fit really well. Elaine had been kind enough to alter it to fit my new body. I stepped in to the pencil skirt which fit my hips perfectly. The flat, gold serpentine belt was next and it also fit just the way I hoped. I put on the wide gold hoops. Even though they weren't high end, they still had the omega clasp. I liked the feel of weight in my ears. I slipped on the heels. I had been practicing walking in them, but they were still a bit awkward. We sat back down at the table for the nails. Sophie matched the nail sizes for my fingers rather quickly. They to were polished in a red that was close to my lipstick. I was surprised how securely they held on. I held my hand out, admiring how sexy they looked.

“Here, why don't you smoke one of these and see how it looks.” Sophie said offering the pack of Virginia Slims. I opened the box and I was able to pull a cigarette out with just my nails. How hot! I lit it and ended up naturally between my fingers in a feminine fashion. I could feel the eyelashes. My lids were just a bit heavier. When I moved my head, the weight of the earrings was obvious. As I moved, the weight of my breasts was apparent. I was very aroused, but in a way that's difficult to describe.

“How do you feel?” Sophie asked lighting a cigarette.

“So many feelings it's hard to put into words. I have a book called 'Modern Primitives' written by Fakir Musafar who experimented with body modification. He spoke about body modification changing one's consciousness. He studied ethnic cultures and a number of different rituals. He did all sorts of wild stuff; body piercing, altering his waist with corsets, suspension from skewers in his chest. I think I might understand what he was talking about.”, I said.

“Are you ready for the unveiling of Kirsten? She asked.

“I want a small glass of wine....how about you?” I said.

“Sure....sounds good!”

I went into the kitchen acutely aware of being in heels, the slip brushing on my legs and my legs rubbing together. I poured a half glass of Chablis for each of us. We sat down in the living room and I continued to take glances of my legs and heels. I started to relax and really indulge my persona.

“I need to show you how to do your own makeup.” She said.

“That will be fun!”

“Have you thought about when you're going tell Julie?” Sophie asked. Julie was my mother and all my friends called Julie.

“I'm thinking on it.”

“Ok....let's do the unveiling!” Sophie said as she stood and grabbed my hand. She went to the hallway and took the sheet off the mirror. I walked in.

“OH MY GOD!” I said, totally taken aback. I was in there somewhere behind the veil of makeup. What I saw was a very attractive woman. I walked closer to the mirror and looked at my makeup. What Sophie did was flawless.

“You like, I take it?”

“Oh Sophie....I can't believe it!” I leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. I wiped the small lipstick smudge off her.

“What do you think?” I asked.

“I think this is another part of you. I'd fuck you!” she said with a giggle.

“If I had real tits and a vagina.”

“Well there is that.” she laughed.

We sat in the living room talking smoking and had a couple more glasses of wine. Neither of us was a big drinker but today was kind of special. As time passed into the afternoon, I was becoming more and more comfortable in my alter persona.

Around 4 o'clock the sound of the front door unlocking surprised both of us. In walked Julie with her suit case in tow.

“MOM, you're back.” I said in a bit of a shock. I guess the cat's out of the bag now, I thought. I can't dive under the couch!

“Looks like you girls have been having fun!” she said in a matter of fact fashion. I was trying to get a quick read on her.

“Hi Julie....I guess your meeting Kirsten sooner than we thought.” Sophie interjected. Sophie was unflappable. Julie walked over to the couch and held out her hand. I took it and stood me up.

“Turn around” I did so.

“Well, I must say, you have a nice ass!” Julie remarked.

“What do you think? Are you angry?” I asked nervously.

“Why would I be angry? You know my friends and you also know how much weight I place on self-expression. I also know you've been wearing nylons and women's clothes for a while now. I knew this was a matter of time. Kirsten...that's a pretty name. Suits you.” She said in an encouraging voice.

“How did you know I was wearing nylons.” I asked.

“I saw them a couple of times when you were wearing sweats. I also noticed how you art had changed when you were wearing them. I wasn't going to confront you on it. I just figured you would tell me when you were ready.” she said in a very reassuring fashion.

Julie poured herself a glass of wine and all of us sat and talked into the evening. We told of her of our trip to the cross dressers shop where we bought all the clothing. Sophie showed me how to touch up my makeup with the compact. It was a little awkward putting on lipstick and face powder in front of my mother, but it quickly passed. I was definitely past the point of no return. Julie fixed a light supper and both of them instructed me on how to eat like a woman. Everything was so different. Julie even commented on how feminine I was smoking. Sophie left about 7. As much I didn't want to, it was time to change. Taking off the makeup wasn't difficult, but the nails took some work. Julie helped me. I took off all the padding, except the bra and dressed in my denim skirt and nylons. Nylons had become a staple. I sat down with mom on the couch.

“What do you have for wardrobe right now?” She asked.

“Just the outfit I had on today, this denim skirt and a couple of tops. I do have a selection of panties and a about 8 pair of nylons.”

“Well, we'll see what we can do to improve that.” she said smiling.

“I do need a pair of flats to wear around the house. All I have are the heels, which are great, but not day wear.” Well we'll do some shopping.

Once a week Mom, Sophie and I went out to do some shopping. I now had a number of pairs of shoes, skirts, tops, casual dresses, lingerie, panties, nylons, etc. For Christmas, Julie bought me a pair of stiletto cuff top boots with 4” heels, a red teddy and a nice garter belt.

belt. Sophie bought me a black peignoir. In October of my last school year, the district offered a way to test out and get a diploma. I jumped on it! Now I could work on art all day and be a woman. It was around January of the next year Sophie and mom started asking me when I was going to go out in public with them. I was pretty much a woman 24/7. I wore casual day ware, used a little makeup, mostly mascara, false eyelashes, foundation and power, eyeliner and a apricot shade of lipstick. I would open the door to receive packages from UPS and the delivery person was none the wiser. I had my ears pierced 2 more times on each side by Barry and put in a pair of 1”, 3/4” and 1/2” gold anodized captive bead hoops that looked great! I never took them out. It was kind of my signature. Julie decided to rent the loft above the gallery. The building owner gave her a really good deal and we could get out of the small apartment.

One evening Sophie was having dinner with us at the loft.

“I'm having a big showing at the gallery. I want you to come as Kirsten.” Julie said.

“I don't know if I'm ready.” I responded with butterflies in my stomach.

“You have been living undercover as a woman for about 2 years now. You have to get honest and go out in public. You'll be around all my friends. You know Deborah, she's been out as a CD for about 5 years. It's a safe place. Take Sophie.”

“When's the opening?” I asked.

“About 3 weeks.”

“Okay...I guess it's time.” I replied, not totally convinced.

The Saturday of the opening finally arrived. The previous day, I went to a salon with Julie and got my hair dyed and styled. The color was a medium strawberry blond and it looked great. The stylist did a razor cut. I was really wobbling between excitement and terror. Sophie came over that afternoon to do my makeup. I was going to wear the same outfit I wore the first time I dressed. The big thrill of makeup had passed, but I still loved the 'girl thing' with Sophie.

“Don't worry, you'll look really hot!” I dressed and Sophie laced up the corset even tighter. I put on the emerald green brocade top and the pencil skirt. I wore off-black nylons. Sophie's suggestion. She said they would really set off my legs.

“Are you trying to get me laid?” I asked.

“Would you mind?” She asked, giggling.

Sophie put on a really nice light green, empire waist dress with an above the knee chiffon skirt. She had her hair done and had on more makeup than I ever seen on her. She was wearing a pair of 5” ankle strap heels.

“Wow....you look great!”, I said sincerely.

“Hot enough to fuck...If I had a cock?”, she asked coyly

Julie wanted us there around 4. I was dressed with my makeup done by 3. Sophie and I took the freight elevator down to the first flower. Sophie sensed I was anxious and she squeezed my hand. I felt a little more comfortable. I might pull this off. I was much more comfortable wearing heels than I was the first time. Practice, practice practice. The gallery had one wall with a banner announcing “Edourd Rashad Collection”. There were a number of people out in front smoking and engaged in conversations. Inside was rather crowded also. David, one of mom's employee's smiled at us as we entered. I leaned over to Sophie and whispered in her ear.

“David had know idea who I am. I've known him forever.” She smiled at me and squeezed my hand.

“Relax and enjoy. This is your night too.”

Julie saw us and came over.

“Come with me, I have some people I want you to meet.” The attendees was a virtual rogues gallery. Barry was there with his girlfriend who had 2” stretched earlobes, a couple eyebrow piercings and a large septum ring in her nose. There were other couples in tuxes and evening gowns, a couple leather gays, etc.. Julie introduced me as her niece from LA. No one saw me as a CD. I was just another young woman. I leaned over to Sophie.

“I need a glass of wine and a cigarette!” I whispered. There was a waiter with a tray of glasses of white wine and we went over to a conversation pit on the back wall. I took a sip of wine and set the glass on the coffee table. There was a lipstick stain on my glass which I liked for some reason. I took my cigarette case out of the evening bag that Julie loaned me. I withdrew a cigarette and lit it. I took a long drag allow in the smoke to relax me.

“No Virginia Slims tonight?” Sophie asked.

“Naa..they look sexy but they don't taste all that good.”

“So how do you like sucking cock?” She asked just to throw me off balance.

“I love it as a matter of fact!” I said with a laugh not letting her get to me.

We talked for a while more and we both had a second glass of wine. Various people came by to chat and make small talk. I relaxed enough to walk around the gallery and look at some of the exhibitions. One artist had a series of canvases that had basic shapes; squares, triangles, etc. in different colors. I didn't get it. It always amazed me what untalented crap could pass as art. There was a display of black and white photos that caught my eye. It was a cross section of people at work on the fishing docks, unloading trucks and parents with their children. The lighting and camera angles made them very evocative. One artist in a corner had a number of displays made from mannequins. One of the pieces was a 6 place table with mannequin heads that had the top cut off. Placed inside were various objects: one had a house plant, another a nut bowl, one with an ashtray, etc. The artist had made a glass table from a female mannequin torso with arms replaced with legs and bright red lights. He had two female torsos that had been cut in half and the upper parts joined in the middle standing vertically. The artist was a guy dressed in a black turtle neck and tweed jacket with patches on the elbows. He had on a black beret and he wore 50's style black rimmed glasses. To top this all off, a goatee! He looked like a Beatnik defrosted for this occasion! I glanced at Sophie and rolled my eyes. He walked over to us.

“Hi, my name is Robert. What do you think about these pieces?” he asked.

“Well, an interesting perspective on society and humanity. ” I answered.

He started blathering on about his unique insight on man while he kept glancing at my legs and ass. I have to admit it was a bit flattering! He tried to weasel a phone number out of me. He wanted to go out for coffee. I could just imagine what kind of place that would be: some place out of a Jack Kerouac novel with people reading nonsensical poetry and snapping their fingers. I excused myself saying that I had other exhibits to look at. Sophie was in tow and we both tried hard not to laugh!

I became acutely aware of how men were undressing me with their looks and women were giving me the stink eye. I was in a whole new world. Julie caught up with us around 7 and wondered how things were going. She had someone that she wanted me to meet. We walked over to the other side of the gallery and she introduced me to Greg. Greg was about 6'5” and obviously a weightlifter. He wore a crew cut. He kind of looked like a younger version of the actor/body builder Sven-Ole Thorsen, except more hansom. I could see his the his well defined muscles through his sports coat. His biceps were the size of my thighs! He looked at me and my knees became weak! His aura projected power and confidence. I felt like a moth to a flame. He was incredibly attractive and scary at the same time!

“Julie says you're up from LA. How long are you going to stay? He asked with a look that went to my soul.

“I'm going to be staying for a while. I'm looking at the Academy of Art. I like living here.” I replied in my best female voice.

“I live in the Richmond district. I have an eclectic collection of art. I just purchased a number of grave rubbings that you might enjoy.”, he said with a penetrating look

I knew he knew I was a man but he wasn't letting on. It was pretty obvious he liked CD's. We chatted for a few more minutes and he asked for my number. I couldn't say no.

Julie noticed how much more relaxed I was and saw that I was actually enjoying myself. She said that no one figured me for a CD. I guess it was a point of pride. We left around 9 and went home. Sophie slept over that night which she did quite often. I was no threat and it was more like a slumber party. As I drifted off to sleep, Greg was on my mind.

The gallery experience was a watershed moment. I knew I could live 24/7 as a woman. I don't know if I just didn't care what other people thought or if other people didn't care either. Probably a combination of both. After all, this was San Francisco and open to all sorts of lifestyles. Julie and I had a long conversation about my new 'self' and what she thought about 'her' being around all the time. She was just fine with it. She made things easy for me. Some of my other CD friends were all but disowned by their families. I was now out of school and looking for something to do with my time. I started helping Julie with the gallery a couple days a week. I set up appointments, did clerical work, etc. I also hired on part time at the Elegant Lady as a salesperson. I liked helping others find their image and I did get a 15% discount on everything. My wardrobe kept growing. I had all sorts of casual dresses, skirts tops, shoes etc. The gallery didn't open until mid-afternoon and Julie often had time to talk. I asked her what she would think if Steven went away for a while and Kirsten came to live with her. She wanted me to be happy and she really liked Kirsten. Steven was subdued and wanted to disappear into the background. Kirsten was gregarious, affectionate, funny and basically everything Steven was not! Steven was just not someone I wanted to be anymore. Julie came up with a story that Steve move to LA for school and I would be staying with her. My circle of friends had shrunk down to Sophie, Sandy,Georgie and Jeff. Georgie and I drifted apart. He got into gay politics and had a radical edge I didn't like. He thought it was great that I was out as a CD, but wasn't turned on by it. I had met Jeff though some friends and he loved fucking me as a CD. He had kind of a Dom edge. I was surprised on how much I enjoyed giving away control. Greg had appeared at the gallery on and off for about 6 months. One Friday we chatted at my desk. I admit I was flirting with him. I also noticed a number of subtleties in his demeanor when I did certain things. A couple of times when I put a cigarette in my mouth and let it dangle from my lips as a reached for my lighter, he would squirm. I knew that squirm was him trying to hide his erection. I guess being male and having a smoking fetish made me aware of all the signs. The same with touching up my lipstick. I needed to file that away for future reference. There were aspects of his demeanor that really attracted me. For such a big man, he was very graceful. Certain ways he moved really got my juices flowing and he knew it! Whatever that thing was that surrounded him. I was still really magnetized to it.