Date: Sat, 6 Jul 2002 07:38:59 -0700 (PDT)
From: Michelle Z <blackcsmale@yahoo.com>
Subject: OVER-EXPOSED

I had been unemployed for over a year with no signs of getting work. I felt
low and worthless. I was forced to sell my old wreck of a car for peanuts
when It broke down and I could not afford to fix it. I was forced to move
into the seediest part of town with another black transsexual. I was almost
broke. I owed my roommate money.

Up until now I had been mostly a private transsexual, going from apartment
to store and back. For a long time, I had toiled with the fantasy of
dressing up and going out to a public party-type place which catered to
T-girls. Feeling the most helpless, useless, lowest and passive that I have
ever felt, I decided to throw caution to the wind. I had reached
bottom. What more was there to lose?

I was going to go for it. What the hell. My make-up was on. My breasts were
fairly well developed from the hormones I was taking.  My hair was
naturally long and black. My tall frame was accentuated by my long smooth
legs. I was shaved all over. I smelled sweet from the smell of cheap
perfume imitations. I was not bad-looking for a 39-year old budding black
transsexual, new on the scene I decided to wear my favorite black
stretch-knit micro mini, the one I really should not sit down in. It was
only 4 inches long. And I was not going to wear any panties tonight. I also
wore my skimpy little black tube top along with a pair of black high heel
shoes. I donned a cheap whore-like wig and a pair of hoop earrings. My
make-up was on extra-thick. I wore bright red lipstick which I purposely
applied in a whorish style. I topped that with several applications of lip
gloss. I outlined my huge donut-shaped lips with black-eyeliner. I painted
two clown-like red circles on my cheeks and blended them in ever so
slightly. I put on a set of large false eyelashes and applied a heavy and
broad layer of blue eye-shadow. I painted my fingernails and toenails. I
removed my painful and poor-fitting dentures and decided that tonight I'd
adventure without them and go with the toothless look. Lastly I covered my
whole body with a heavy sheen of baby oil, and then sprayed myself with
some cheap perfume.

I left the apartment and hailed a cab. I sat down in the back of the cab
and my skirt rose up exposing my genitals. This cabbie, from the Middle
East somewhere, kept looking back making idle conversation yet he never
looked at my face, just my crotch area. I pretended to be drunk and unaware
of my over-exposed situation so that he would feel more comfortable
staring. It worked.  I leaned forward to hear what he was saying so that my
skirt would rise even more. I placed my hands on my knees for balance
causing my legs to spread even more. I acknowledged something he said as
his eyes got bigger from the increase in my exposure. Then I leaned back
and on the seat and turned my head to the side and closed my eyes half shut
as if in a drunken stupor, allowing my arms to fall limp to my sides, palms
facing upward, my legs slowly opened even wider. I slid down in the seat
just enough to cause my bunched skirt to rise up to my belly button. Then I
pretended to snap out of it after we hit a pot hole. I looked down and
remarked with an outburst of "Oh my God" at the discovery of my exposed
predicament. So I fixed myself up properly and at the same time apologized
to him. He told me it was ok and that he enjoyed the view.

He told me he had a camera and if he could take some pictures of me right
now in the cab and that he'd pay me 2 dollars. I was humiliated at the low
offer and let him know that I was not just a cheap whore.

He remarked that it was all he could afford.

"Ok, never mind", he replied.

Then after some silence and after thinking about it I figured that
something is better than nothing. It had just gotten good and dark. So I
felt safe from external prying eyes

I told him "Ok."

He said, "Ok what"?

"Ok, you can photograph me for 2 dollars. It's not much, but I could really
use anything now. I'm really broke now" I explained.

I felt cheap and worthless anyway. This would just confirm my worthlessness
I thought. I might as well get used to the feeling.

I assured him that it would be ok. He found a side street in front of some
abandoned houses and parked under a big tree. He gave 1 dollar then and
said he'd give me the other dollar when we were done. I thought, what a
cheap asshole. He snapped a few photos, and then asked me to pull my top
over up to my neck. Then he snapped a few more photos then asked if I would
take it all the way off.

I hesitated but then said, "Sure why not".

I removed my top exposing my budding breasts. He snapped a few more photos
of my breasts. Then he asked me to pull my skirt down. I hesitated again,
looked outside to make sure no one was around, and then I pulled it down to
my knees. He snapped a few more then asked if I minded taking them down to
my ankles. I said ok and slid them down. He clicked again and the repeated
flash had blinded me temporarily. It was like taking orders from this black
spot in front of my eyes. He asked if I would mind removing my skirt
completely as well as taking my shoes off. I just gave a silly grin and
removed my skirt completely as well as both shoes. He asked me to spread my
legs. I did. He said wider. I complied. Then he asked me to start stroking
my dick. I felt I was obliged because he had already paid me and I was
naive as to what was expected when photographed. He told me to suck on my
fingers while I stroked my dick. I did. He snapped off the remainder of his
roll and without saying anything, he started up his cab and drove off
singing. He rolled up the last dollar and tossed it at me without even
looking at me as if I was a piece of garbage.  Maybe I was? Even though I
had been paid, I felt stupid and used but felt good to have a couple more
dollars in my pocket. I got dressed.

I arrived at this gay and lesbian dance club with breathless anticipation.
I paid the cabbie but could not afford a tip. I figured he already got his
tip.

This was the only place I had heard of where T-girls could socialize out in
public. I arrived shortly after it opened so there were not many there when
I arrived. If they checked me at the door, and looked under my skirt, I'd
just have to be embarrassed and suffer the humiliation of rejection and the
act of being thrown out.

Whew! I made it through. My little bulge in the skirt went unnoticed. Or
did it? I was now very nervous and shy. My first time going out to a public
place like this dressed up. I found a table in the corner way in the
back. I ordered two stiff drinks right away so I could gain some of the
nerve back that I had when I left the house. I think I drank them too fast,
because I was getting a heady buzz that was headier than usual for me.

I noticed this young white guy, probably a bit more than half my age. He
seemed the shy type. He was the only one strategically placed such that he
could see my legs. I got bold and slightly spread my legs then closed them
and repeated this process nonchalantly as if I was unaware. He did notice
but pretended not to stare. He gave real quick looks then glanced away.
Each time his stare was a bit longer than the previous ones. I thought I'd
give him a treat and really held my legs apart for about 30 seconds.

I pretended to reach over in the seat for my purse and leaned way over so
that I had reason to really spread my legs, when I was sure that he was the
only one looking. I'm sure he got a good look at all my jewels that time.
I lost my nerve as someone turned my way, so I quickly crossed my legs lady
style. This other guy noticed what I was doing and realized that I was in a
compromising position.  I kind of tried to mask my over-exposure by putting
my hands in my lap in strategic places. I know that the first guy could see
that my skirt had risen past the 45 degree angle.  I thought oh what the
heck, I might as well give that first guy a quick thrill cause I could not
hold this awkward position forever. Who was I kidding? So I slowly
uncrossed them and scooted my skirt down as if I was not aware that I had
accidentally exposed my bald shaven pubic area, including my balls and what
was now a raging hard on. He really reacted with delightful disbelief.

My first admirer nonchalantly makes his way to the bar and leans back after
ordering a drink. I can feel his eyes. He is wearing bleach cotton shorts
with matching shirt and white sock less shoes. I notice a bulge. He can now
look down upon me.  I position myself so that only he can see me. When the
time is right and the close crowd has repositioned themselves, I
nonchalantly scoot my skirt up so that he can see all my stuff. My dick is
hard and sticking straight up. How bold am I? I have my hands position
strategically to block in a seconds notice. Something starts happening up
on stage and the small crowd moves forward.

Great! My number one's eyes are transfixed on my exposure. Someone on the
microphone is talking, but I'm in a horny mood and drunken stupor and don't
hear a word as I get bold again and nonchalantly spread my legs wider yet.
I glance quickly at him and smile and then look away. I let my top slide
down just over my left breast, the one nearest to him so he could sneak a
peek.

Then I thought, this not very lady like, but then I remembered that I am
not very lady.  So I recomposed myself and proceeded to get really
sloshed. He slowly made his way over and engaged in some non-threatening
idle chit-chat.  He had a soothing voice. He had sandy hair and piercing
blue eyes. I asked him if he'd like to sit down. He accepted. He indicated
this was his first time at a place like this, but it was a fantasy that was
burning at him for a long time.  He gets a small monthly endowment from his
parent's. It's enough so he does not have to work the rest of his life, he
said, as long as he lives extremely meagerly which he had learned to do.

He said that he had not been in a relationship in a long time. He was not
that comfortable around real women yet felt relaxed and dominant around
T-girls. We got to talking more in length. We discovered that though our
ages were widely separated and races were different, we shared many of the
same turn-ons. He likes watching xxx-rated videos and magazines. He likes
going to adult-bookstores, and xxx-movie theaters and topless bars and the
like. He likes hanging around the seedy parts of town where all the
adult-oriented entertainment is, he explained.  He said these places are
where he spends most of his time and where he feels most comfortable and
that he even rented a real sleazy place close to his favorite area so that
he could be within walking distance to his favorite places. I told him that
I liked those places too. He got excited. I could smell the alcohol on his
breath.

We finally hit upon the subject of who we thought was wearing underwear and
who was not. He pointed out quite a few that he noticed were not wearing
any, he said. I acted surprised.

He asked me if I wanted to see something. I said sure. He pulled down his
pants to show me he was not wearing any underwear either. He put my hand on
his huge white cock. It felt so good. It was long and thick. He started
pumping my wrapped fist a few times as if it were a pussy. He dropped his
shorts down to his ankles, to my surprise. His legs spread further
apart. This is so daring and crazy I thought. Lucky for us that everyone
was now watching the show as it started and that we were the only ones in
the back row. The lights were also dim.

Then he whispered in my ear, "Now your turn".

I slowly pulled my skirt down.

He said, "All the way".

I thought this was crazy and I pulled them down to my ankles.

He said, "Take them all the way off and put them in your purse"

I thought now this is totally crazy. What if we are caught?  I felt this
excited weakness run through my body. An adrenalin rush was kicking in big
time. He had this commanding way about him. I kicked off my shoes so as to
make it easier to take them off. I got this silly notion that if I did not
take my skirt off, that he would just it off himself. I said what the heck.
I pulled off my skirt and put it in my purse. My hard-on revealed my true
feelings. He grabbed it and started massaging it. Luckily I was in the
corner somewhat shielded from the others by his body. With his other hand,
he started massaging my small but noticeably sized breasts, for a guy. His
hand made its way from on top of my top to just underneath it.  He dared me
to take my tube-top off. I hesitated for a moment. If I took this off, I'd
be totally naked. The rush of anticipation was so strong. I thought, well
I'd gone this far so what harm could it do now. I thought to myself, what
the heck.

I did not want to disappoint this guy. So I quickly took my tube top over
my head and put it in my rather large purse along with my shoes then I
quickly covered my breasts with crossed arms and slid further down in my
seat. He easily pushed my weak drunk arms away and they fell limply to my
sides and he grabbed both my titties at the same time and started caressing
them, alternating between them and my dick. Then he started massaging my
hair and moving my head around. I felt totally weak and under his total
control feeling totally naked and exposed and helpless under his
spell. Suddenly he jerked my head down forcing my mouth onto his crotch and
gave me my first of many orders for the night.

"Suck my big white cock, your fucking cock-sucking whore", he commanded.

I was caught off guard, but I opened my mouth and started sucking hard and
wet.  I was able to take the whole length of his cock into my mouth and
down my throat. He was also pumping his cock ruthlessly into my mouth.  He
started calling me his whore and his bitch in every sentence.

He told me this was the best blowjob he had ever had. He told me that
fucking my toothless mouth was as good as and even better than fucking a
real pussy.  He liked fucking my big lipped whore mouth, he said. The more
he referred to me as a whore, the more I got turned on. I realized it was
what I had secretly needed and longed for.  It was at this moment that I
felt he owned me in what ever fashion he wanted. From this moment on he was
in control of my body and mind. Total control.  He told me to lick his ass.
I anxiously raised his dick and balls, got down on my knees and wildly
licked his ass as if it was my duty. I tried to press my tongue into his
dick whole.  I loved his smell. He grabbed the back of my head with both
hands and forced my head deep into his ass as far as it would go till I
could barely breath, calling me his fucking whore. Yes that's what I was
and wanted to be. I was his nigger whore. I thought, I don't even know this
guy's name nor does he know mine.

He told me to stop. I did and looked up at him like a zombie as if waiting
for my next command.  He put his clothes back on. I got as far as putting
my shoes on. Why I put them on first I don't know.  There happened to be a
rear exit door not more than 5 feet from where we were sitting. He told me
that he was ready to leave. He said we could leave out this exit door.

Without giving me a chance to get dressed he commanded, "Let's go", and he
pulled my hand hard.

I followed like a drunk and lifeless doll as I was dragged the first few
feet before I could get to my feet.  As soon as I got to my feet I got
extremely dizzy. I was trying to form the words to tell him that I needed
to get dressed but the words never got from my hazed mind to my mouth. He
opened the door. I felt the cool breeze. I panicked at the thought of
strangers seeing my naked.

Then he said, "Come on". We went outside; I was totally naked except for a
pair of shoes. I still had my hard on sticking straight out. There was a
guy and a t-girl kissing against the fence that we walked the length of to
get to his car which he said was parked way in the back.

"How do you like my new black faggot whore?", he asked the couple as he
showed off my dick and tits. They giggled. I felt like a piece of used
meat.

"Show `em how you suck my cock and lick my ass and what a good whore you've
learned to become", he commanded as he pushed me down on my knees and made
me service him right there like he owned me.

He was very strong. I fell to my knees down in the dirt and greedily sucked
his cock and licked his ass right there as the couple just stared and
giggled and encouraged him even more to treat me like the whore I was
quickly learning to become.

"Yeah suck all that white cock, you fucking black whore", they encouraged.

As I heard those words, I grew totally weak and opened my mouth even wider
and sucked hard and wet and made very obscene whore-like cock-sucking
slurping noises as both my lips stretched back over my nose and chin.

His car was all the way in the back. Every time we passed a new person, he
made me drop to my knees and do him. The last people were two straight
guys. He made me lie on the ground, pinned my arms with his knees and
proceeded to pull down his pants and grind his naked ass into my face.

"Guys want a piece of this faggot whore? Real cheap. She'll blow you both
for a dollar."

The first guy gave him a dollar, pulled down his pants and before I could
object, stuck his cock into my mouth. In no time I was sucking like a
whore. He was fucking my mouth like it was a pussy, never stopping to
recognize me as anything more than a slab of beef. We never made eye
contact. He pulled his cock out and sprayed my face with his semen. It was
not long before the other guy mounted my new mouth-pussy in the same
fashion and without any eye-contact either, he fucked my mouth for a bit,
withdrew and squirted my face covering both my eyes with his very thick
sperm.  I closed my eyes tightly and kept them that way, fearing his cum
would get in my eyes.

"Now you really are my black nigger whore", he said.

Just then another new male voice approached.

"Can anyone join this party", he asked?

"Sure, she's giving blow jobs for a dollar", my pimp-acting friend said.

I was yanked up onto my knees, with my eyes still closed. I could not even
see who I was sucking now. This guy had a rather short cock, fat, dick with
a big mushroom head. He was a head grabber and a talker as he grabbed the
back of my head with both hands and slammed my head in and out, calling me
a whore all the while. He commented to my pimp that he'd never had a
toothless blowjob before and it was much like fucking a real pussy. His
cock bulged out my left cheek and my face a slimy mess. He said he thought
I was worth two dollars and dropped two dollars on the ground. He came
inside my mouth, zipped up and left.

I was then yanked to the pimp's car. I got inside with help.  On the way to
his house, he made me suck his cock. I never got to look out the window.

I realized I had forgotten my purse in all the commotion. How
embarrassing. They'd look in it for id and figure out what happened. Or
maybe somebody would steal it? And what will my roommate think? What would
I tell her? How do I explain what happened to her?

He told me not to clean my face, because he liked looking at it like this,
all covered in sperm. He pulled my head up by the hair and forced me to
look in the vanity mirror.

"Look at you...you look like a dirty filthy fucking nigger whore", he
laughed.

He was so right. I did indeed. My lipstick-semen smeared face was
punctuated by a pair of big protruding Ubangi-sized lips. My toothless
mouth resembled one of those suck-shaped mouths on a blow-up doll, only
nastier. My mouth felt closed, even though it was open. I tried to close
it, but it hurt too much for my jaws were very sore. They felt locked in
this open position.  I think it was from sucking his too-big-and-wide cock
for so long.

I thought we were going to his house, but we ended up pulling into the rear
entrance of this small very seedy looking adult-theater in the skuzziest
part of town. He pulled my naked body out of the car with such force that
both my high heel shoes fell off onto the car floor. I was now totally
naked being pulled into the rear entrance of this movie theater. My face
was covered in cum, titties exposed, and my dick was still hard. I could
not believe I was going into an adult theater naked. They would never let
me in like this I thought. There was an old lady sitting behind the counter
donning a pair of coke-bottle glasses. I squatted behind my pimp boy-friend
and I am sure she did not see me as he paid for only one ticket. She buzzed
us in and I shuffled and squatted so as not to be noticed. We entered a
dark theater. I could not see. We stood until our eyes adjusted. There were
about a dozen men. Half of them were playing with their dicks. There were
two guys sitting together with their pants down to their ankles,
masturbating each other.  Another two guys were in the back, one on his
knees giving the other one head. I was made to towards the screen and to
the bathroom in the back. The floor was sticky all the way down as my bare
feet got stickier with each step. He found a tube of lipstick on the floor
in the bathroom, made me pick it up and give it to him. He thought for a
moment, and then wrote on my chest "FREE - COCKSUCKING FAGGOT WHORE". Then
he made me get down on my knees and hold his dick while he pissed.

Then we walked back up the center isle so everyone could look at his newly
found prized whore. He held up a dollar, pointed to it, showed one finger,
and then pointed to my mouth. We sat down near the back of the theater; he
whispered something in my ear. I then proceeded to get down on my hands and
knees and start crawling around each guy in the theater. I was told not to
stand up. My hands and knees and toes gathered fresh cum and spit as I made
my rounds orally servicing each guy who wanted me. I collected a dollar
from each one. They all took turns. Each one came in my face when they were
done. Some did not want blow jobs at all. They just wanted to jack off in
my face or permanently-opened whore-mouth. I was told not clean myself
between blowjobs. I was a sticky gooey mess as my body as well as my hair
was also now spotted with gobs of cum.

My pimp now dragged me through a curtain-door that led to some video booths
near by. He found a large one and forced me down on my knees and forced my
head into a glory-whole until I was stuck with only my whore-slimed face
showing on the other side, with the exception of my eyes. He left the door
ajar so all who passed by could see my predicament.  One by one, guys
entered the other side and plugged my mouth with their dicks, and without
any dialogue, fucked my mouth like it was some anonymous hole in the
wall. With each one I felt my lips stretch out a little bigger. I tried to
move but I could not. I felt so helpless and used.  One guy remarked that
fucking my mouth, which by now was full of cum, was like fucking a jar of
mayonnaise. When he finished, I heard what sounded like 4 or 5 guys at one
time talking. I felt two dicks pushing into my mouth and 2 or 3 more
pushing against the outside of my mouth. Each one took turns fucking my
mouth. Then they all pulled away and I heard and felt them all cum on my
face and mouth at the same time. Then I felt something like a warm-hot
liquid from the last guy. I could not believe it. He had the nerve to pee
directly into my mouth. I was so ashamed.  I had now been demoted to the
role of a human urinal, I thought.

"Here's your dollar", I heard each one say to someone on the other side of
the wall.

My pimp friend said he had to run an errand and that he'd be back. He just
left me there. When he came back much later, my whole face was covered in a
thick sheet of cum. They also came all over my body. My hair was cum and
piss soaked too. Several guys had donned rubbers and fucked me in my tight
ass. My body was a big white glaze. Several guys had even wiped their asses
on my face and another guy pissed on my body.

My white pimp went to the other booth and with the bottom of his dirty shoe
he pushed my face back through the glory-hole. I fell backwards onto the
wet floor.  He dragged my limp sperm and piss soaked body out the side door
and to his car.

When we finally got to his house, I was allowed to take a bath and clean
up. Even afterwards I still felt as if my body was soaked in cum.  His
apartment was filthy. Dirty dishes and glasses were everywhere.  Empty beer
cans were stacked over in one corner of the living room. Stacks of x-rated
magazines were strewn all over the place. It was a single with just a
king-sized mattress on the floor for a bed. Stacks of x-rated videos
resembled a small video store.  His sheets were cum-stained.

My mouth was still stuck in the open position. I wondered how long it would
be before it would close properly or if it ever would again.

We got to talking like normal people for a minute or two. He introduced
himself as Dick. He said his friends call him Big Dick. I told him my name
was Linda.  He talked about my nice breasts but how he liked real big
breasts. He asked me if I'd like to have real big breasts.

"Yes, very much so. It has always been my dream to have a sex-change
operation and to become a real girl", I exclaimed.

He said that he might help me get big breasts. He hinted that he might also
spring for my sex-change operation so that I could be his 3-holed whore, if
I promised to become his permanent slave whore and give him all the money I
made.  With wide eyes, I grinned stupidly and submissively with my gaping
mouth and nodded. I got so excited at hearing those words. I always dreamed
of having my own pussy and comical big breasts. He said that he wanted my
lips even bigger and then when he was done having me transformed that I
would look like a dumb, stupid black bimbo faggot whore, custom-made for
sucking big cocks. I answered him by greedily taking cock all the way into
my mouth as I learned to relax my throat muscles, gagging as it went in. He
said that first I would have to cut all ties with the outside world. I
nodded.

I called my roommate and told her that I had met someone and had moved in
with him and to sell what meager belongings I had and keep the proceeds for
the money that I owed her. I now had no living relatives, no job, and no
friends. My roommate was the last family-type connection.

I was now his love doll, his sex toy, his slave to use, rent, or sell as he
sees fit. I had entered this new seedy, slimy world of his never to return
to the world I left behind. Here everyone smelled of alcohol and all places
seemed to smell of cum and urine.  All his friends were drunks and
perverts, I would soon learn.

As I peered out one of the windows facing the back alley, I saw a black
sissy faggot on her knees, with some skimpy, stringy, thong pulled down to
her ankles and some skimpy top pulled up around her neck, sucking some
white blue-collared type who had his pants pulled down around his ankles.
You could hear the sucking sounds from our window all night long. It was
fun to watch and listen to.

I watched one couple talk back and forth as it seemed the guy wanted more
privacy. There was a big green trash bin right next to the wall my window
was on. She pointed to it and then she put her black, sissy, faggot, ass in
first, with her micro-mini skirt rising up to bunch up around her waist. He
followed her in and closed the lid. I could hear fucking and sucking noises
mixed with sloshing sounds. How gross I thought. I had truly reached the
bottom of the barrel and yet I was happier than I had ever been. I knew
this was where I belonged. This was the new life for me.

Dick said that I also needed to learn how to be his toilet whore. He took
me in the bathroom, pushed me down on my knees, tied my hands behind my
back, tied my hands to my feet and tied them to the toilet. Then he took
out his thick manhood and proceeded to piss in my mouth. He warned me not
to swallow his piss, but just hold it in my mouth as if it was a toilet. My
mouth quickly filled after which time he doused my whole body from head to
toe with his piss. He told me I needed to get used to my new smell. He told
me he had to go out and run and errand and that my mouth had better be full
of piss like it is now, by the time he gets back. I stayed there thinking
about my new position in his life and that I had just also begun the first
stages of learning to become his toilet. I felt so humiliated yet I also
felt this was my natural position now.

Dick arrived back two hours later. I was still I the same position and
showed extreme signs of weakness and submissiveness. He felt it too and
also knew he could do anything he wanted to me. He congratulated me and
told me that I could now swallow which I did. He untied me.

Without being allowed to clean up, Dick made me get under his covers on his
bed with my piss-smelling body. I smelled like a public restroom. He stuck
his cock in my mouth and began to fuck it like the pussy-mouth he had now
grown used to. Completely hidden from his view, I went to sleep with his
cock in my mouth realizing that my mouth would never again close all the
way. I would always look like a blow-up doll that says 'fuck me in my dumb,
stupid, worthless, whore-mouth everybody'. I'm easy. I was his human-sized
rubber whose purpose was just to fit over his dick. I was his willing
cheap-as-they-come mindless, zombie, whore waiting my next humiliating and
degrading sexual orders, waiting to experience the next new lowest level of
depravity so satisfy my new man.

blackcsmale@yahoo.com