The Boy That Wasn't 9

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At this stage, this story isn't specifically centered on clinical transsexuality nor does it take issue with the politics concerning this topic. It explores natural occurring, extreme femininity in a boy and how it effects the relationships in his life. Sexual content is included on the basis of authenticity and plausibility.

Addendum: Concerning the issue of gender in pronouns, I wanted to avoid the social affectations common in queer culture and assign it according to the character's nature and temperament.

Forgive me, I've made some mistakes that will hopefully be corrected in a subsequent re-write, regarding fluid gender pronoun attached to the main character, Josey. Because Josey is not yet a woman, I will use male gender pronouns for general situations. I will also use male gender pronouns when he is subjected to violence or sexual abuse.

Thinking of himself as the feminine is emerging but gradual. It may occur during solitary masturbation and is appropriate when treated with care as a woman especially in the context of sexual affection or respect. The idea is that this is Josey's inner nature and to describe it in feminine terms should be considered a positive.

This seems like a reasonable rational

Feedback and some guidance from interested readers is encouraged.

Is anyone out there?

jet2larkin at geemale dot cum (reinterpret)

The Boy Who Wasn't part 9

By early evening, Barney took the boys back to the their mother's house in Glendora, out in the Valley. Jennifer guessed that he'd probably be gone 2 or 3 hours. She poured a glass of vodka and split it with water.

Josey sat quietly and finally said, “I don't like it here.”

Jennifer turned and angrily said, “What's your problem? You don't have to sleep with him.”

She was resentful and her voice was in a low, sullen register. “We have to figure a way out of this.”

The alcohol had created superficial a rift between mother and son but it was much worse than that. She had no idea of what Josey had gone through in the company of Barney's two sons and there was no way he could tell her. Josey had already been broken and he knew that when they came back on the week-end, there would be more of the same.

Both Richie's and Eddie's scent was strong in the small room from underwear, tee-shirts and rancid sweat. Josey opened the window. He didn't want to sleep on either of their beds so he stayed on the cot. It was the only thing in the house that seemed like it was his and his alone.

About 10, Josey got up to call Clark. Jennifer was still sitting there. He picked up the phone and turned so his mother couldn't hear. An some other time she might have protested or said, “Who you callin?” but she just sat still, sipped her drink and said, nothing.

It rang and rang and rang but no answer.

Barney came home and they went into the bedroom, Josey got up and tried again. No answer, no answer, no answer.

Josey sat in the dark room staring at the dark paneled wall that separate the two bedrooms. He could hear them but not clearly. They were drinking and talking. Josey tried to ignore it and looked out the window instead. There was traffic along Olympic Blvd and the lights made it almost like daylight. Josey crept back out into the living room and tried to call Clark again. He might just have walked in.

He returned to the bedroom and sat listing and looking at the wall that separated the two rooms. There was silence then some talk and bumps and thuds. Josey crawled onto Richie's bed and put his ear up against the wall. His mother's voice was shrill and Barney's was low, rumbling and indistinct. It was punctuated with that awful laugh of his.

He heard his mother say, “Oh Barney, no! Will you get over that shit.”

There were more bumps and the trivial crash of a metal ashtray, then it started. It rattled the wall and went on and on, stopped and then started again. Josey moved back and away from the wall and just looked at it. It started up again increasing its rate. It concluded with a prolonged rumbling moan and a final gasp and then the room was quiet.

Josey hated Barney.

He lay looking out the window for hours until he slowly pulled down his pants and then got undressed. She was preparing to jerk off. Josey reached down into the backpack her mother had gotten her for going to the beach and retrieved the vibrator she had stolen. This was the new way. She slid it in and out of her and thought of Clark. Clark would do that for her and he would take care of her and protect her. It was a cure for the pain. She needed to feel better and shed all the chaos that was happening around her. Doing this, she let herself dream about another place that was far away. She lay on the small cot, stroked and soothed her soft body. She thought about the castle in the canyon. Clark was a giant of a man and she was longing for his warm comforting voice.

The experience wasn't at all frenzied like the shaking of the bedroom wall. She learned to relax and penetrate herself in a soothing rhythm until gradually and slowly it rose up inside of her and peacefully released long streams of clear sweet liquid.

Finally, Josey slept.

With the boys gone and Barney at work during the day, both Josey and his mother just sat around. Jennifer didn't fit in any better than Josey did.

She looked at her son. "Josey, let's get out of here. Maybe if we go to the beach we'll both feel better."

They gathered their things and caught a bus to Venice. Laying in the sun near the water, Jennifer was already starting to look a lot better.

Josey said, "If we got homeless again, it's ok and I'd help us find a place."

Jennifer smiled at her son. "I know you would but just give me a little more time."

"Don't you see how fucked up this whole thing is?"

She laughed, "Josey, your too sweet to use that kind of language but you're right, it is fuck-up."

Getting suddenly serious, she came closer to Josey. "You're right, we gotta find a way out of this."

Some people have one drink and get festive, funny and sometimes, sad. Others turn mean and hostile. It was becoming increasing evident that Barney was one of the latter.

He expected dinner when he got home and required that it be sit down so that he could lord over all his subjects. On this night, for some reason, he had it in for Josey. He was sullen and narrowed his eyes at the boy.

Dropping his utensils on the plate he harshly announced, "It's time that me and Josey here have a little talk."

When Jennifer tried to stop him, he yelled, "This is my house and what I say goes!"

He manhandled the boy out to the garage away from Jennifer's interference. Locking the door behind them was dreadful and eerily familiar.

"So tell me Joseph, just what do you plan to do while you are living in my house? Do you think I would let my boys sit around and jerk off all day? No, they'd get out and get a job and bring their pay checks back to me. Tell me why I should expect any less from you?"

He cornered the cowering Josey.

"Do me the courtesy of looking at me when I'm taking to you."

Barney gave the impression of being completely exasperated. But they had only been in the garage for a couple of minutes. His exasperation was premature because then he began saying what he really wanted to say along.

"You think you are fooling me and my boys the same way that you fooled your mother but you're not fooling me for a second. I know what you are all about, acting like a girl when your are really a pathetic weakling and a coward, you disgust me."

Holding Josey by his shoulders, Barney began shaking him hard as if this was going to knock sense into him. Out of fear or desperation, Josey began to cry.

"Look at you! You're lucky that you aren't my son because I whip your stinky ass with a belt." He fingered the belt around his own waist as if he was preparing to unfurl it."

Jennifer was yelling and banging on the garage door.

"You watch your step you little faggot and keep your filthy hands off of my boys!."

When he unlatched the door, Jennifer came in and Josey quickly slipped by her, down the driveway, and into the night.

Feedback and some guidance from interested readers is encouraged.

Is anyone out there?

jet2larkin at geemale dot cum (reinterpret)