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Disclaimer: This is an original erotic, explicit and hopefully very graphic story.  It contains elements of transgender sexuality and if that is likely to cause you offence or you are under age, you’d better stop reading now. Please don’t copy or reproduce this in part or whole form without my explicit permission. Feedback is, in the vast majority of cases, most appreciated, enjoy.


Sept 2011

Chapter 1

A hint of blue

A first kiss, tender, gentle and moist. His hands cradling the nape of my neck and small of my back, fingers intertwining with my short brown hair. Lips tingle, a trace of moisture cool on my lower lip, my heart pounds, blood rushing in my ears. His face so close to mine,  lights up with a smile. My breathing quickens, as he dips his mouth towards mine once again. Less tentative than before, I raise my lips to meet his in sensuous union. His hot mouth presses firmly yet softly: capturing me in the moment, a heartbeat stretched, all thought set aside for the pleasure flowing from his lips to mine.

A small sigh escapes as my mouth opens, a moment of surprise as the tip of his tongue pushes past my lips. Yielding to him, I tilt my neck pressing for more. His tongue pushes further, spreading my lips to let him press deeper. His tongue tasting and exploring, leaving a spreading coolness with it’s tracing path. Withdrawing, he gently kisses each lip in turn, and I marvel at my submission to his mouth. A kiss anticipated for months and dreamt of for years, worrying it would feel wrong somehow, if it ever happened at all. A flushed smile spreads over my face with the thought of how unfounded my fears now seem. Opening my eyes, I reach up to touch my lips with my finger tips, enjoying the fullness his kisses have left.  James watches, as I run my forefinger over my lips where he tasted moments before. When he speaks, his voice seems oddly loud after the intimacy of his kisses, “You feel it? It’s in the kiss, each and every one.”

I find my voice faltering in answer,

“I’d hoped that’s what you’d choose, guessed, but hadn’t expected... well, expected it to feel, as a kiss, it felt wonderful.”

Heat suffuses my face with the last word, self conscious at the emotion so obvious in my voice. The smile as he holds my hand and kisses the tips of my fingers,  is all the reassurance I need.

“I hadn’t expected to feel, you to feel this way either, although I too had definite hopes.”

Standing so close, our lips mere inches apart, before I can respond, he reaches my mouth with his and holds me close against his firm body. My concentration focuses on each point of contact, his hands, his firm torso and his mouth. I feel myself filing with new sensations and new thoughts: that he had hoped, yes hoped, that I would enjoy his kiss, his touch, that he too had looked forward to the changes I would feel.

Feeling seconds stretch into minutes, I return his kisses with my now full and soft lips, his lips parting with a low groan at my efforts. Taking full advantage of the opening, I chance at returning the pleasure earlier given. I dart my tongue inside, his tongue mating with mine in the hot confines of his mouth. Desire unbound by his kisses,  I feel a growing need within me, hot, passionate, wanting to possess him.  Pressure and heat spreading between my legs I pull my body close to his. Freed from the shackles of anxious anticipation, I press my hands to his back kneading his taut muscular frame beneath his loose shirt. He releases my mouth, loosens his hold and takes a small step back letting his fingers trace down over my arms to hold each of my hands. “You are sure this is what you want”. It's not quite a question, nor a statement, just enough to require an answer. “More than ever,  I’ve been working towards this, wanting to feel this... you, for a very long time”. Although briefly expressed in the past, I had hardly dared expose the true extent of  my desire for him before, I had waited a long time.


I had waited: this morning outside the apartment door as the lock confirmed my id with a winking green light and snick of the door release. The cool panel lights flickered on to expose the undecorated canvas that was my new apartment. The space had been purchased a month before and despite my initial efforts it remained a simply passable set of rooms. A rather standard arrangement of bedroom, living space, office and even a kitchen, although the kitchen now seemed a luxury. However, this morning walking into the living room I wished I’d spent more time making it more welcoming, but it was a bit late for that. Opening the pale curtains allowed in a dribble of light from the city outside, sodium yellows with neon blues and signal reds. The white walls and white washed boards of the floor took on the light in borrowed splashes of colour. I was unsure if this was any more appealing than the uniform pallor of the room lights. I busied myself arranging the spartan furniture and few cushions. I knew that in now trying to create a welcoming room, I was fighting against the neutral space I’d previously worked to achieve. Today though, my senses felt heightened, an awareness of ambiance that left my skin tingling as I disturbed the air with my movements through the quiet space.

Against the wall of dark glass at the end of the room, the unmissable and only highlight of colour was the chaise lounge. It was a copy taken from my home, my old home. Soft brushed cool blue suede on an antique frame it stood out from the plain pale surroundings, alien in the otherwise minimalist space. As I moved about the room, I was drawn inevitably to the chaise. Moving to sit on the cool blue surface, I stroked the soft pile, rueful now that I hadn’t brought more like this with me, I smiled wryly that I wasn’t really adding to the colour of the room, almost camouflaged with my blue jeans and soft white shirt. My black shoes and short brown hair would probably have seemed discordant dark colours, had anyone else been there to see.

I lay back staring at the dimmed panel lights of the ceiling, wondering, for a moment, why I’d arrived so early, James wasn’t due till later tonight. I’d told myself that I’d wanted to make this space more welcoming for him, but I’d known there was little I could do now, only so many ways I could rearrange the furniture. I’d wanted to be early since there didn’t seem any point in waiting any longer to come here. I knew I could have brought more with me, splashes of colour, touches of texture. I also knew why I hadn’t, why I hoped my choices later would be so very different from those now. It was an odd thought that I couldn’t know how I would feel, one that both intrigued and slightly scared. The few times I had visited in the last month, I’d brought a modicum of clothes for after I moved in, but these were behind pale closed anonymous doors, their colours hidden, unsure of their place in this neutral space.

I’d been so busy recently, working to clear my diary, to complete reports and even anticipate work that might be required while I took time to settle in. I told myself I hadn’t really had the time to visit more often, but it was a poor excuse that did little to hide the simmering anxiety that being in these rooms brought to the surface. What if James didn’t arrive, what if I’d left it too late to ask him, had he had time to get ready? I had known asking him was a risk, but it was the only option I was willing to consider. I trusted him after the years of working together, years of flickering desire, an ember sustained by thoughts of the future. My hopes and desires now exposed I felt naked and vulnerable.


James brushed his fingertips against my cheek

"Every moment, every touch, every change, I want you to feel it all. I’ve put a lot of effort into you and there’s so much more that I want you to feel”

Gazing into his sapphire blue eyes, set amid smooth blond skin, I struggle to come to terms with his words. His striking looks so very close fill my vision, fill my thoughts. Moving forwards I raise my face to his, bringing my mouth just close to his "Then kiss me again" I breathe. Closing the gap, his firm lips find my soft red mouth, his tongue caressing my own. His path marked by a cool saltiness spreading to my throat. Closing my eyes, I yield with a soft moan, melting into his embrace, my fears of rejection lost in the passion of his kisses spreading over my face. A flutter of coolness against my neck, and I arch up to expose my throat to his sequence of kisses; slowly along my jaw, each touch marked by a faint chill of moisture. Softening, smoothing, the coolness soaks through my skin a caress of iced silk. So focused on feeling each kiss, I realise I’m holding my breath. A sharp release of air and I shiver as his mouth continues its path across my throat planting icy petals at each step. My throat tightens as if I’ve stretched my neck too far. A moment of numbness and the constriction eases, warmth returning as his mouth retreats. Lowering my gaze to his, I lift my hand tentatively to my neck stopping just short, suddenly anxious at what I might feel. Silently, James takes my hand in his and guides me to my throat. Smooth, satin skin meets my fingertips, now trembling, my hand slides across caressing each side, the rounded smoothness such a change from what was there minutes before. Tears trickle down my cheek, salty on my lips.

"Are you OK?". James is looking at me with intimate concern

“Yes” Wiping a tear away with the back of my hand I shudder, my eyes widen realisation with the sound of my voice. "It's wonderful, just so much better than I expected" a soft soprano voice rising to trail away breathless with surprise.

James places a paternal like kiss on my forehead pausing to hold me tight as I shudder holding back the tears. His hands cup my head, turning my face to his once again. My eyes closed, his breath on my face, fingers threaded through my short hair, I feel breathless, tense with anticipation sensing him draw closer.

His lips touch gently against my eyelids tenderly kissing my tears away. The numbing coolness pricks my eyelids, trickling threads settling over my cheeks as if my tears were icy droplets melting with his kisses. My head swims with the chill, shivers rippling over my scalp to the nape of my neck, warmth returning as James strokes his fingers through my hair. His kisses slow, tender with exquisite care,  traverse each contour of my face, edging agonisingly slowly closer to my mouth. In the darkness of my closed lids, I feel a hand touch my now warm cheek, while the other holds me close.

Opening my eyes I find his face close to mine. A smile flickering to life over his face as he meets my eyes "Now you really are beautiful".

Heat flushes my cheeks, and I drop my gaze unable to accept his words. Dipping my head, long soft blond hair cascades over my face hiding my blushes, a pale curtain drawn over words I find hard to understand or accept. Pushing my hair aside, James meets my lips with his, sharing a kiss hot with the flush of shared desire.


Desire had driven me two months ago. Sitting across the pale wood desk my much too expensive architect was talking. My pen outlined shapes and ideas, doodles on the pad before me. His questions, a monologue, background noise to the scratch of the pen that held my thoughts. Lighting design, maintenance, data services, wall coverings, ceilings and flooring. His words flowed over and past like water over smooth rocks. This was to be my new home, for a new life, I didn’t want to clutter it with objects that would inevitably remind me of where I had been before. For me, objects were a projection of a person into the space around them, a sort of footprint defining the shape we make on the world around us. The card clutched in my left hand contained photos of my home, my most cherished things, my favourite colours, fabrics and textures. It was my footprint, seemingly impossibly condensed into the small black square of plastic and silicon. The card felt slippery clutched tight hidden below the desk, I felt reluctant to let Donald see I’d remembered to bring it with me. I’d done as he’d asked, spent hours choosing, photographing everything around me that defined part of me. Now though, faced with the reality of decisions, II didn’t want to share my footprint. Distracted, lost in my own thoughts, my pen fell to the page, I realised Donald had stopped talking. Looking up from my reverie to meet his gaze, it was clear he was waiting for an answer. “I’m sorry, I haven’t been..”, He finished my sentence for me “listening, paying attention” He sighed “You do want this apartment don’t you? I mean you’ve purchased some very expensive city floor space and it’s fresh, new, you can make it whatever you will.”

I rested my chin on my hand, absently rubbing a rough patch missed in the morning absolution's. “I know Donald, you’ve told me this many times before. It’s just I don’t think I’ll know what I will want till I’m there. I’d rather you just used a template, plain, simple, I’ll work the rest out later”.

With an exasperated, and I felt over dramatic, sigh, Donald stood from his chair to walk round to me. He lent on the desk next to me taking a less confrontational tone.

“Look, you’ve given me very little to work with, I’ve some ideas and some idea of what you might be planning but it would help if you could tell me more of what you want from me”.

He stood close, his physical bulk uncomfortably close enough to feel the heat from his body. Keeping my face impassive, I wondered just how much he thought he knew. Far less than he could possibly imagine. Not meeting his gaze, I sat turning the card over and over in my hand, trying not to show my discomfort. Looking ever the professional in my dark plain suit and crisp white shirt and old fashioned cuff links, I wasn’t about to share my long held deepest thoughts with him. With regret, I realised I had exposed the card in my restless hands. Feeling I had to move the conversation on I offered Donald the small black square.

“Fine, as you asked, here are the photos, lets see what you can do with them”

I knew I hadn’t answered his question, but it resolved the awkwardness I felt with him so close. Donald took the card from my palm, slick with sweat, I was sharing more than I really wanted to. Seated again, Donald loaded the card in silence, bringing up the catalogue I’d so carefully prepared. As he skimmed through the photographs on screen, I tried to focus on the images, resolving to make better use of the time I was paying him for. A flicker of dusky blue material caught my eye. “Lets start with that” I stated, sounding far more definite than I felt.


Our mouths locked in play, James’ hands drift down the small of my back to rest on my hips. He pulls my waist closer to him, a small step to keep my balance and I am pressed firmly, fitting against him.  Although I should not have been surprised, the hard swelling pressing against my pelvis is suddenly vivid in my attention. Breaking our kiss, I slowly lean back supported by his arms pressing our hips together Meeting his eyes, it’s quite clear James knows I can feel him through our clothes, and equally clear he can feel the swelling of my own desire for him.

James rubs his hands up my shirt brushing against my chest “It’s about time you took this off”. Shivering from the contact of his thumbs over my chest, I turn away to take a seat on the blue chaise. The new distance between us leaves me feeling more self conscious of my appearance. Not willing to meet his eyes yet, I focus on the buttons of my shirt: my hair tangling with my fingers as I fumble to undo them.

“Here, let me help” James’ hands take the place of my own, deftly threading each button through it’s hole. I hold my hair up, its cool weight luxuriant in my hands, watching James fingers expose my broad flat chest. His task complete, James peels back my shirt slipping it over my shoulders the sleeves slipping down to secure my wrists at my side. Leaving my torso bare, pale skin exposed, I feel at once vulnerable and all too aware of my appearance. Heart pounds in my chest so hard that I felt it must surely be visible. Gentle pressure on my shoulders presses me back against the corner of the seat. His hands drift down over my chest, trailing, almost painfully, on the sparse but rough hair of my chest, down onto my abdomen. I watch hypnotised by the route, his fingers continue over the waist of my jeans, slowing over the swelling held tight by the fabric at my groin. I hold my breath, feeling every vibration of his path, tensing under his hands.

”Later” James sighs, almost to himself, withdrawing his hands almost reluctantly. The moment passes and I can breath again. All too aware of my position, looking down at my somewhat flabby tummy, I grimace at the unflattering angle I’m lying

"Not a particularly attractive view James". I wave my wrists the limited range I have "..and these?"

James silences my protests with another kiss, other thoughts drowning yet again in the sensations on my full sensitive lips. He brings his knee up beside me, leaving his hand free to roam my chest. Releasing me to breathe, he dips his head to kiss the v at the base of my neck. I watch his progress, light footsteps down the center of my chest, smooth alabaster skin rippling from each touch like milky rain on a pond. Tense with an involuntary deep breath as his mouth lowers to my right nipple. Rather than his lips, the contact is with the tip of his tongue. A trace of moisture just chilling the small pale area, I watch it respond, rising a small nub closer to his mouth. His tongue flicks out, ‘ahhh’ I gasp as the nipple swells, a cold ache sinking deep into my skin. Another flick, my nipple darkens, swells, rising, a finger tip of oh so sensitive skin yet closer to his mouth. His lips close over the surrounding skin. I cannot help myself, moaning low in my throat, mind awash with the assault on my senses as his hot mouth devours me. I feel myself swell filling his mouth as he continues to suck the hardened tip deeper. With a steady, slow rhythm he milks my sensitive breast. Lifting his head further each time, my skin is tugged into a steep cone. What should have been painful is numbed by threads of ice cold piercing my chest. His hand joins his mouth, squeezing, massaging, my breast blooming under his touch. Gasping with a depth of sensation more intense than anything I’ve  previously felt, my stomach begins to quiver, cheeks hot, breathing hard, swelling between my legs wanting to burst free. I try to reach out, to hold my blossoming breast. Skin so sensitive under James’ touch, squirming trying to try reach, the movement only heightening the sensations flooding from my engorged chest. His mouth releases a large dark nipple, startlingly erect from his efforts. But his hand continues to squeeze and shape the soft mound. Still swelling, I watch on breathless as my breast fills, and with a rush, heat flushes through, blood pounding in my ears. As the warmth touches my swollen nipple, a deep, startled moan escapes my mouth. The room seems to swim about me, squeezing my eyes shut I shudder with pleasure rippling over my stomach spreading down to my groin. It takes a few moments to recover my thoughts, and open my eyes to gaze at James. A moment of concern crosses James’ face

“I think I got carried away a bit there, you’ll be a bit sensitive, here, for a while” with the word ‘here’ he brushes his fingers against my contused nipple. Jerking my breast away at the intensity of the sensation, heat spreading directly to between my legs, I fear the consequences of a firmer touch there.

“Uh huh, yes, just a bit.. sensitive”.

James moves his hand to the left side of my chest, his fingers toying with the small now seemingly numb nubbin of a nipple. Looking down, the asymmetry is so strange with the heavy tug of my right breast rising from the plain of my chest. I feel myself tense as James lowers his head this time towards the left nipple. However, the contact is with the skin below, a long languid path, his tongue finishes at the tip of the nipple. Erect with the cool trace left by his tongue, I watch it darken and swell. He licks again over and over my breast, each time ending gently at the tip. Washing the mound of my bosom with his tongue, a dark peak rises from a pale sea of soft alabaster skin. Rising up himself, James places his fingertips either side of my breast, pressing, coaxing the soft skin. Like a potter at the wheel, his fingers rise and fall in a slow rhythm: building wave upon wave of sensation. Arching my neck and gripping the blue fabric beneath me, I let out a long feminine groan, lost in the rolling waves of ecstasy breaking over my body..


Chapter 2

Sensitive tastes

Six months ago, I had groaned with resignation, listening as my accountant told me I couldn't afford the apartment space I needed, even if I did sell my house. Diane had taken me for dinner to explain her concerns, I think she was hoping the fine food and company would soften the message.

”Space in the city, well you knew it was going to be expensive. Particularly a newly commissioned apartment. you haven’t changed your views on something pre-owned?” She looked at me as if this was a genuine question. Diane was one of the few people who genuinely knew all that I wanted to achieve. Looking at her across the table, concern etched in her face, I chuckled as I had often done in the past, at the absurdity of one’s closest confidant being your accountant. Funny how secrets eventually needed money if they were ever to become reality. Diane’s frown softened with my mirth “Well maybe I’ve asked you that a few too many times already”.

“Yes, you have, but I do really appreciate your concern...for me.. and my money”.

Diane and I had met at university through common friends but other than acknowledging each other in passing, I’d not really got to know her till meeting professionally. She was short, direct bordering on abrupt, and I thought she was marvelous. Our lack of anything resembling sexual desire for the other made for a wonderfully liberating open personal and professional relationship.

The arrival of a fine china plate steam rising from a small fillet of seabass, woke me from my reminiscences. Diane raised an eyebrow “Fish! I hadn’t realised I was paying for an occasion.”

Inhaling the delicate lime scent rising from my plate “Ahhh, well you are welcome to visit me once you’ve helped me buy the apartment, and I’ll cook you fish whenever you like”.

Diane rolled her eyes “It’s not the same, and you know it.”

Diane’s meal arrived and we traded banter in-between mouthfuls of scented leaves and zest coated fish. She had been right, I did feel better for the fine dining and her company. I also knew she was right that it wouldn’t be quite the same if she came to to visit. I hoped it would be much better.

“So have you asked him yet?” Diane’s question was as usual direct to the point and soberly brought me to attention after the chit chat of the meal.

“Not yet..” I trailed off, looking away, knowing the disapproving look I was being granted. “I’m waiting till I know I have the living space.“ Meeting her eyes again “You know this is permanent, one way, to work, to live.. to..” I faltered as the excuses had been heard before.

Diane finished my sentence “ love. You know you really have to ask him soon”


James lifts my head from the chaise tenderness in his hands, laying kisses softly over my eyes, my nose then my mouth. Sitting back up, at the end of the seat his eyes seem to roam intently over my face and body “I said that you were beautiful”.

Bunching my hair to drape over the back of the seat, I lie with my smooth pale breasts exposed, my right nipple still exquisitely tender from his passionate kisses. Arching my back pushing my chest towards him I smile “You just like my breasts”.

James moves forward in answer, his mouth covering my squeals as his hand flicks at my left nipple. Squirming with renewed sensation, I struggle to push him back. Feeling a little breathless, my gaze falling to his crotch, I cup my breasts in my hands “I think we should see what else I can do with these.”

Sitting up I press against his thigh and taking my lead he stands so I can sit before him. My hands trace over his thighs, fingers lingering on the swollen desire held tight under his jeans. I lower my head to hold a soft kiss against the bulging fabric, and inhale the soft musk of his sex. Sitting back, I free each button in turn, no fumbling fingers or hair to encumber me. Each button releases more of his length, pressing for release. James gasps each time I glance of my fingernails over his still covered swelling. Tucking my fingers over the waist of his boxers, I tug down slowly watching him twitch with the rub of the fabric. James shuffles out of his loosened clothing, to stand naked in front me.  Not a word said, I hardly dare believe what I now have the opportunity to do. His firm thighs are speckled with dark hair rising to a toned firm abdomen. In-between, his cock shaft stands erect from a thatch of dark hair, twitching a few inches from my face. My eyes widen at the enormity of his erection seen this close, Thick and hard, crowned by a dark purple smooth head, his desire clearly evident in the pulsing veins seen this near. I want to swallow him whole, force his lovely sex into my tight throat then feel him pulse in ecstasy as I consume him. Knowing that lovely as this would be, I want to prolong my enjoyment, and resist the temptation. I nuzzle the hair at the base of him, licking, tasting, inhaling his intoxicating smell.

Looking up I meet his eyes past his shaft and see his surprise as opening my mouth, I take one of his musk coated balls into my hot mouth. Gently stroking it with my tongue intimately tasting him. Keeping my eyes locked on his, I turn, swapping sides to take the other fruit in my mouth. Now moving to kiss the underside of his shaft, sliding my mouth around the base nuzzling into the dark patch of hair at the base. Rising, I kiss his velvety smooth skin stepping higher to reach the smooth swollen tip. A drop of clear fluid, a smooth pearl, rests at the slit atop his pulsing head. Smiling, I deftly flick my tongue, tasting salt and musk. I am rewarded by a groan above me, which continues into a low moan as I use my tongue to wash each part of his glans. James, sensing what I am planning next, braces his arms above me against the seat. I’d been waiting, savouring what this would feel like. Wetting my full lips, I press them to his purple head, moving deliciously slowly, steadily, I press past the smooth swelling to feel him press into the roof of my mouth. Further, my lips move over the velvety skin of his shaft, his congested tip forcing against the back of my throat. Holding him full in my mouth I can’t reach his base. Savouring the fullness,  I pull back gently, holding his cock head in my mouth. Now that his shaft is slick with my saliva, I pull him firmly into my eager mouth, hard against my throat. I am in heaven, taking James in my mouth as I have dreamt of doing. Releasing his buttocks his length slides out only for me to push down again, and again, and again. Grunting with each movement, James begins to match my rhythm: I feel his muscles rhythmically tighten as he pushes into me, and a tension growing under his slick sweat stained skin. I smile revelling in the pleasure I am imparting. His breathing is quickening, his movements more urgent. There’s a small splash of salty liquid on my tongue and I realise I’ve gone further than I want to right now. With a certain reluctance, I stop, pushing his sex from my mouth. I have other plans.

James gasps looking surprised at me, Swallowing the cool liquid in my mouth it trickles, cooling to ice as it descended in my throat. The cold tightness wasn’t what I was expecting and it’s my turn to look surprised. Moving my hands to touch my throat my eye in mute question to James.

Seeming to realise my unspoken question: ”Ohh.. I hadn’t thought of that, of course you can feel it in this too. It will make the changes deeper than I had thought possible” He was still breathless and his voice was huskier than before.

I flashed a broad grin at him “I like the idea of deeper”.

It wasn't just an idea, I felt an aching need for him, I wanted him deep within me, every part of me .Leaning back into the seat, I pull him to me so that he kneels astride me, his swollen cock resting between my breasts. Pulling him higher, the swollen dripping tip just enters my hot mouth, smooth and hard against my soft tender lips. James slips free again as I release his thighs. Enjoying myself again, pressing my breasts together, I smother his shaft in my pale mounds. Smiling in satisfaction as James groans with my efforts, he is pushing forward searching for my mouth. My lips readily receive his aching shaft and I feel my mouth wonderfully full again. The pressured heat building in my own jeans is becoming too tight to ignore, squeezing with each penetration of my mouth, I can’t help myself but buck my hips in time to his movements wanting to fill and be filled. I run my hands over my flushed breasts caressing the silky smooth skin, squeezing my soft mounds around their solid hard core. My finger tips find my nipples, rubbing small circles around each one. I find myself moaning as James pushes more of his tense cock into my mouth, my lips. Again and again, James pushes harder and I abandon my breasts pulling his cock head past my lips deep to my throat, a glorious tight fullness. A moment of stillness, as James stiffens loosing a gutteral cry as hot liquid wells up from his sex pumping deep into my mouth, spasm after spasm spilling himself into my throat. I am trying not to gag, swallowing what I can but wetness seeps from the corners of my mouth a cool tracing path to my neck. I suck greedily on the last drops from his retreating head. Swallowing more of his salty seed.

Suddenly cold, cold penetrating deeper than before, I gasp with icy fire sinking into my chest. Fighting a rising sense of panic I struggle to sit back up, unable to speak eyes wide staring at James. Ice rippling through my chest, flooding into my arms, leaving me numb and immobile. I watch as my hands shrink before me, fine delicate fingers leading into elegant slim forearms, smooth pale creamy skin. My chest feels too tight, fear, I can neither feel my heart beat, nor breath in my lungs; constricting, shrinking, vision blurring, fading. A gasp, filling my lungs with sweet warm air, heat flushing outwards from my lungs, a sudden thawing of my numb limbs, freeing my movements. Grasping at my breast, I felt my heart thundering, the thump of my heart beat visible in the vibration of my bosom.

Slowly aware of my surroundings again, James is staring intently at me, concern etched on his face. “You ok? I hadn’t expected that to be so, so effective. Your ribs, your chest to shrink like that, umm.. your breasts look .... look wonderful” It was the first time he sounded at all uncertain. “You really do look incredible”


A year ago, I had felt very uncertain. I’d been thinking of moving permanently into the city for several months and was wondering for the umpteenth time, what would I need to make it happen.  This time I’d progressed to a pen, pad and number one on the list. I leaned back in my chair, antique springs and leather creaking in the late night quiet of my home office, pondering the patterns of dust on the dim brass light above. Money, it needed plenty of that, but that was a given  and hardly worth listing. Time, yes, plenty of that too but that was a bit vague. I wondered if I had a ladder to reach those cobwebs. I looked at the page on the desk in front of me, I wasn’t sure when I’d first thought of the idea. My medical practice had grown to specialise in helping those that struggled to cope in the city, or developed problems through exposure to it. At first I’d dabbled as part of a group practice, I’d visited the city more than most, and I found myself visiting more and more often, both to treat patients and for research. I spent longer on my trips into the city than many did, it was tiring but there were only a few doctors willing to take patients on there. My colleagues were happy to leave such patients to me, preferring to concentrate on what they regarded as real medicine. They hadn’t anticipated the growth of the city, the complexity, density and opportunities it provided. Nor had they seen the deprivation much of our world lived in, our incomes screened us from much of the harshness and scarcity the rest of the world experienced. Michael, a colleague from my first practice even drove a car, a petrol car, every day. It seemed an obscene luxury even to our elitist group. Fish was my weakness; I celebrated the publication of my first research paper on the city with a whole side of poached salmon, served at a party for friends. It was ostentatious and utterly delicious. James had never tasted fish before, it had seemed so worth the cost just  listening to him describe the subtle taste of lemon and dill mingled with the soft flakes of pink fish. I reflected wryly on the decadence and the little chance of affording the same again, even on my income. Clean water was now too valuable to leave for fish.

I looked at the paper again, reminiscing lyrically on the taste of salmon wasn’t about to write this list. There had been very few long term residents of the city at first, it was incredibly expensive to live there. Those that did were usually funded by governments or multinational corporations, who paid handsomely for medical care to protect their investment. My practice was in high demand, and with little competition, I took on more doctors, taking them through their first trips into the city. James had been the first to join me in those early days, quick to learn, with the stamina to accompany me on the longer trips I made. Oh those early days, I sighed thinking back to the hours we had spent together, the excuses I’d made to accompany him long after I knew he was competent on his own. I had been surprised to find myself drawn to him, confused and embarrassed as well. Returning wide eyed after accompanying me on our first trip, his infectious enthusiasm buoying me up on a wave of optimism. We stayed up through the night, sharing ideas and hopes, consuming more wine than was good for either of us. I had discovered a keen professional, skilled colleague and a friend. I found myself looking forward, anticipating the hours, to our time together working and teaching. It was clear all too soon, the knotted stomach, dryness of mouth, the thrill of my heart, that James was more to me than a colleague. A conservative figure, in my near uniform like apparel of dark suit, shirt and tie, my feelings for James were unexpected and hardly likely, I thought, to be reciprocated. My one concession to frivolity was an archaic liking for cuff-links, contrasting with James’ sharp more contemporary figure. Five years younger than I, he was determined to maintain his fitness despite working in the city, when it was easy to let physical fitness decay at home. Despite the demands of reports and research, he squeezed in time at the gym most days when the rest of us felt chained to our desks. I chuckled to myself as I recalled his account of dictating while using the treadmill, the cadence of his speech increasing as his pace picked up. We’d needed to upgrade our dictation software to cope when he progressed to sprinting. He would return flushed and toned, and I would reliably find time to meet with him. We’d discuss our various projects, as he peeled off his sweat stained shirt and shorts, replacing them with a contemporary suit in whatever colour and cut demanded of current fashions.

I shook my head in frustration, visualising James’ firm glowing skin was definitely not helping me plan this list, I hadn’t even started. My mouth felt suddenly rather dry, I knew very well why James was so vivid in my thoughts. I knew because there was only one person I’d trust to help. The written word had power though and in the writing, I would be making real thoughts that had hitherto been hidden. Taking my pen I wrote what I had known all along. I couldn’t do this alone.

Chapter 3

With change comes tears

James wandered the living room floor as I stand in the kitchen preparing a drink for us both. He seems unconcerned by his nakedness nor my near constant regard for his firm physique as he moves examining the furniture and few objects I’d brought into the room. My gaze wanders over his muscular chest, shifting to his abdomen then lower, lingering while taking in the glory of his manhood. Forcing my attention to the ice in each glass, I was trying to pour a measure of whisky into each but my unrestrained breasts are a distraction as my hands and the cool bottle glance over my sensitive skin. It seems odd that I don’t recall such distractions before, I find myself circling my right nipple with a finger wet with ice as I gaze at James’ taught buttocks. He stands at the window peering out into the city, his dark reflection punctured by points of light. lowering my other hand to the moist tense swelling at my groin, so desperate for release. Rubbing my fingernails over the ribbed fabric, over my firmed length, squeezing,  tip to base, to tip, to base. Grasping at my breast, breathing rapidly, the lingering taste of his sex on my lips, his musk still fills my nose, my eyes focusing on James’ muscular defined thighs leading up to....oh, it was too late to stop. I lean against the counter as an explosion of pressure is released at my groin, length pumping, pulsing spasms of warm wetness spreading through the blue fabric under my touch. Massaging my breast as the spasms fade, milking the last of the warm ripples from an engorged nipple. Struggling to maintain my balance my breathing comes in ragged breaths.

Opening my eyes, my vision is slow to clear, to reveal James standing before me, watching me stumble and gasp.

“Now that, was a bit of a waste” he chastises me, reaching to cup the swollen wet cloth at my groin. His touch triggers a further pulse and a shudder jostling the soft mounds on my chest. Without loosening his hold, he closes the distance between us, my breasts pressed against his firm chest, his mouth hot on mine. I can’t help but moan and squirm against him as he massages my sensitive balls.

James steps back, maintaining his hold between my legs, “Come with me”. I can do little more than nod in submission as he guides me, tethered at the groin, back to the blue chaise. Not releasing me till he is sat before me as I was earlier. Trembling with anticipation I can hardly breathe as his fingers deftly separate each button of my jeans peeling back the sticky material to expose the white lacy panties beneath. The triangle of light lace barely covering their contents, my half erect form already pushing again at the wet waist band.

“Hmmm.. “ James wryly smiles with apparent approval at what he sees, triggering a flush of heat  to my face and chest remembering what I was wearing. “I’m sorry... it seemed a good idea at the time.”

“It was a good idea” James’ face is framed between my breasts as he speaks softly “It means, I can take this slower”. He pullsthe remaining jeans down, letting me step free of them, leaving me standing before him, the only clothing now between us is the thin slip of lace over my groin and buttocks.

James lets his hands roam over my abdomen, slipping over the fabric over my rear to trace down the inside of my legs. Shivering and squirming from his touch, his mouth closes over the fabric covering the base of my stem, sucking and lapping at the sticky lace. His mouth, his tongue moves over each captive orb, and my breathing deepens once again. A subtle chill felt through the lace,  his breath cool on my skin beneath, each moist lap of his tongue leaving me more sensitive than the last.  I watch the head of my cock rise, peeking past the light confines of lace, pushing outwards and upwards. James not ceasing his devotions at my base, runs his hands over the wet lace, to stroke up and onto my abdomen. Hardly able to bear the ache along my length, my swollen glans pulsing with each tender lick and kiss, my balls retreating from the soft chill. Each cool touch through the lace tightens the skin of my ball sac, exquisitely tender, each touch of his tongue more sensitive than the last. James runs the tip of his tongue over the thick folds beneath my vibrating shaft, an unbelievable sense of focus as his tongue traces the swollen lips held within the lace. I can hardly breathe, I want his mouth over me, oh please now give me release. The pressure is almost unbearable where James continues to kiss. He moves back and I close my eyes waiting for his hot mouth over my glans. The touch of his mouth again doesn’t come and I gasp as he grasps my length in one hand his other pushing aside the fabric between my legs to caress the sensitive skin of my buttocks, trailing a slick finger coated in my own juices, to my anus. He squeezes roughly over my length, pressing down from head to base stretching my foreskin tight as I buck against him. Breathlessly  between his rhythmic squeezing “This..wasn’t..quite..what I..uh ..expected”

A somewhat devious grin in on James’ face: "Really, Well I've an idea, I'm sure you will like" emphasising the last word, he pushes a finger tip into my anus. I yelp at the intrusion, feeling overloaded with sensations, and I am moaning once more as he begins to pump his finger in time with squeezing my shaft, rough fingers painful against my sensitive engorged skin. I cup the pale globes on my chest, roughly squeezing and tweaking my nipples, revelling in the mass of sensations assailing my mind. Building again to climax, breathing hard, I can hear myself cry out with each squeeze of his hand, thrust of his finger, each.. thrust..rising up on tip toes ready to burst over him,

Ahh no, James stops again, suddenly squeezing hard and ripping his finger away tearing the lace from my twitching length. "Wh..what are you doing?" I manage to gasp, holding his shoulders feeling as if I’m going to fall.

"I told you, something you will like. Now lie down" He stands, still gripping my erect shaft, steering me to lie on the chaisse. He is keeping me frustratingly close, on the edge of coming, the edge of spraying my seed over his slick beautiful body. "Spread your legs.. wider" he commands with a push on my penis held tight in his hand like an instrument of control, Tethered unable to protest I can do nothing other than comply. James kneels, tracing the inner contour of my thighs with his free hand, lowering his head to my rough skin, I feel the now familiar cool touch of his mouth, soft alabaster, so sensitive skin blooms from each kiss. Icy tendrils burrowing into my thighs, leaving an inner numbness as I watch my skin tighten, shrink, moulding to tapering slim calves. My broad masculine feet looking almost absurd at the end of such slim feminine sensual legs. Despite my ragged breathing, a chuckle escapes as I peer past my bosom to my ridiculous feet. Following my gaze, James grimaces "I'm not sure if I can face kissing those! But I will kiss you.. here” and with the last word he lowers his mouth between my legs. After an unbearable pause, his tongue touches most intimately, circling my ass hole, I tense as needles of cold begin to prick the sensitive area, crying out as the tip of his tongue pierces my hole, a knife of cold invading, numbing. Tensing, cock swelling, straining to reach for release, but James tightens his grip while moving his pelvis swiftly closer to my ass. Watching on, mouth wide, as he positioned his own twitching erect rod against my ass. "The cold should numb this at first" Looking me in the eye he reassures me quietly . Biting my lower lip, I watch him push against me, feeling my hole stretching, opening, straining to accept his thick shaft into it's dark confines. A pause then he thrusts again. Aghh, I cry out as his hot shaft pierces me, spreading scalding heat up into my pelvis. Sensation returning like a boulder crashing against my senses, I pant through the pain and grip at the blue suede, as James inserts himself deeper into my rectum, pushing, forcing past what little resistance remains, to bury his full delicious length in me.

Excruciatingly slowly he starts to move, deep inside me, almost withdrawing then filling me again deeper still in a measured advance. He releases my own tense erection to brace himself against the chaise, leaving it to slap rhythmically between us as his hips thrust into me over and over again. Hardly able to think, my senses burdened with the harsh fullness in my ass, the slap of my own tense manhood and my full breasts juddering with each impact of his pelvis. I grasp my own swollen shaft, uttering a raw sensual feminine groan as the pressure wells up from my balls no longer able to be contained, bursting in a pulsating stream of hot fluid over my abdomen reaching up to my slick flushed breasts. Each pulse accompanied by an exquisite tightening in my ass, gripping James' rod tight within me. He strains to push deeper, and despite my delirious state I feel his tense head swell inside me, grabbing at his buttocks, I throw my legs wide pulling him further within me and watch his face contort as his shaft pumps, thrumming a slow firm pulsing rhythm in my bowels. Holding him tight, the beat slows, my legs wrapped around his back, he is captive in their tight embrace.

A flutter of cold deep in my pelvis, a seed of ice growing in my belly, expanding, consuming my abdomen in a sea of cold, I stare paralysed with numbing frost as my skin ripples, hips broaden, stretching and flattening. Pressure as my buttocks swell, surprise at the size I seem to be growing to. My pelvis remains frozen, rigid with James, still buried within my ass, roots of ice burrowing down to my feet. I see my thighs narrow yet further, and feel a certain satisfaction as my feet constrict now in proportion to my shapely legs. James strokes his fingers down my chest rubbing my cum into my nipples, over the contour of my breasts, spreading warmth as he smooths the trail down over my flat stomach to my now shrunken penis.

"I hope you’re not going to be too worn out now, I think we can probably still have some fun with this". he sounds almost amused running a single finger over my groin.

I feel too tired to answer, eyes closed, content to feel the warmth seep from his fingers over my abdomen and enjoy the cool slick wetness trailing down from my ravished hole. James leans forward into my arms, our mouths searching for each other, kissing slowly, lazily basking in the afterglow of passion.


Searching the city for space for an apartment had been a challenge to squeeze in-between commitments to my work, patients and colleagues. Early in spring, after the harsh frosts had retreated, the new season was a prompt for new plans, new life. I knew I needed to set more time aside to make preparations for the move. Diane was still the only person who knew what I hoped to achieve: I couldn't progress without sharing, at least some of what I intended. James was clearly the only colleague I'd trust to help, but such help would more than likely expose some of the complex emotion I felt for him. I had hoped to have an established home in the city before moving there, before speaking to James. Having somewhere settled would have allowed me to ease myself into full time city life, allowed time to personalise and create my own space. However, Diane was right, I needed his help both now and with the move itself. I sighed as I laid the table for our meal tonight, musing again on the situation I’d mired myself in. I had invited James for dinner on the pretext of a vague discussion about a new project. Such informal discussions were not unusual, and although I typically invited all our colleagues, I had often found excuses to dine with James alone. Tonight we were dining simply but the wine would be superb, well I hoped so. With plans to move home, I couldn't take my wine stocks with me so they might as well be enjoyed. The doorbell roused me from my musings on wine, and I had reached the door almost automatically before a dry lump set in my throat, making me pause before turning the latch. James stood relaxed on the door step smiling in greeting. Dressed casually in black jeans and soft jacket, I suddenly felt aware of my formal suit and tie, what had I been thinking. I fumbled a greeting and took his coat and the bottle of wine he had brought with him, ushering James through to the dining room. I retreated to the kitchen unaccustomed to the awkwardness I was feeling around him.

Conversation during the meal was uncomfortably stilted, in contrast to our usual easy flowing, and rambling discussions. James looked increasingly anxious, heightening my discomfort and emphasising my failure to engage in even simple conversation. After a luxury desert of fresh fruit, eaten in silence, James had clearly had enough. Spluttering and standing with sudden agitation, he raised his arms in frustration. “What on earth is going on? You’re hardly talking to me, hardly seem able to bear eye contact with me, this is ridiculous”. I tried to break in to his objections with a feeble “Its not like that..”

“What was the point of this evening? You’ve been around the office much less, I hardly see you, I wonder whether you were unwell. Then you invite me round and now.. this" James had raised his voice in frustration sounding increasingly upset by my behaviour, "So what is it? Are you leaving? Is that it, you're leaving and this is what tonight was about?"

Confused by his upset, all I wanted to do was reach out and hold him, explain everything with an embrace. Instead I sat, sat and faced him, faced what the whole point of bringing him here tonight was.

Keeping my voice measured “Yes, James I am leaving.” James looked shocked, clearly not having expected me to confirm his concerns: “Leave, you can’t, why would you leave us?”

Lowering my head, I stirred the traces of fruit at the base of my glass bowl. “I plan to move to the city... permanently”

James sat, frowning, shaking his head “The city, but that makes no sense, you’re there more than the rest of us anyway, you’re an old hand. Why on earth would you want to stay there?”

This was it, I couldn’t avoid further explanation if I wanted his help. “I have, several reasons for wanting to make the move long term” I held up my hand to silence him as he moved to speak again. “I spend almost more time in the city than I do at home, and living there will provide unrivalled opportunities for work and research, and... it provides certain other unique opportunities.” I paused, my mouth drying.”You know how we can change things, heal things in the city that we can’t here” I gestured around the room.

James interrupted the frown deepening “Oh heavens, you are unwell aren’t youl?”

“No, not unwell, but I have wanted, for a long time to.. change, and I will need someone to help me.” I paused to draw a long breath, this was it

“ I will need your help” I looked James in the eye, looking to judge his reaction but he was still frowning, I couldn’t discern if it was concern or anger. He spoke more slowly “What sort of change?”

I swallowed, heart thumping loud in my ears “I have never accepted this, this body. Never felt it fitted, or that it should fit. My feelings and emotions haven’t fitted with this, this skin.” I knew how daft this all sounded but I had to go on “I have known for as long as I can remember fundamentally somewhere deep in here, that this mind, soul if you want to call it that doesn’t belong in here” I pressed my hands to my chest. “Moving into the city, I can change this, me, become the person I’ve felt I should be... The woman I should be.”  I closed my eyes, not daring to see James’ reaction, he was silent, a deafening silence. I finally raised my head, to look across the table, he was sitting there quite still, as if waiting for my attention. When he spoke it was calmly with none of the rancour of his earlier outburst.

“Well that makes a lot more sense now, oh, a lot more sense”

This wasn’t quite the reaction I’d anticipated. He smiled at me, more with his eyes than anything else “Do you have any idea how obvious you have been over the years? I was uncomfortable with it at first, but being the object of your desire, sometimes constant desire, has baffled but grown on me”

I squirmed in my seat, accepting for the first time how blatant I must have seemed. James continued

“You do know that with the sort of changes you are suggesting you can’t come back here, I hope you’re not doing this just for me”

Finding my voice clearer now “I know this is one way, and no, it’s not just about you, it’s what I have to do, for me.”

James raised an eyebrow “What you have to do, and of course you will be all too well aware what I would have to do to help you?” The lump returned to my throat  “Well how you.. apply the changes.. would be very much up to you.”

James stood, and my heart sank, I’d gone too far, too quickly. He pushed his chair in under the table

“I think I should go now. There’s a lot to think about, a lot to do” His formal tone cut through the atmosphere of the room, a full stop to any further explanations or apologies I might be considering.

I stood a little shakily “Right, yes, ermm, I’ll leave you to, well, consider.”

I walked James to the door, not knowing quite what to say as he left, he offered a handshake and left. The door closed, I crumpled to the floor, my back against the door, head in my hands. He had left with a handshake, the impersonal formality of it all was crushing. My shoulders heaved in a silent cry, salty tears running down my face.

Chapter 4

Dressing for dinner

Luxurious streams of hot water fizzled through my hair, cascaded off my shoulders, clung to the contour of my breasts and rippled over my flat tummy. Stretching my neck up loving the feel of the water almost stinging against my sensitive smooth skin. This was definitely a big plus for the city, showers like this were the stuff of dreams at home. Rubbing my hands over my face, neck and massaging the soft skin of my chest, I smoothed fragrant soap over me, washing the last of James’ cum from my face and my own from my abdomen. Slick with fine soap I work my hands over my body, rubbing foam into the soft hair at my groin and the sensitive velvety skin of my penis. My fingers run down between the folds of sensitive skin beneath, small testicles within each fold, hardly there but so delightfully tender to touch.  My eyes close as I alternately press and rub between these lips, my slumbering penis rousing. My free hand soaps my rear, moving to rub and wash the sticky remains of James’ seed from my anus. Mmmm, my fingertips reach and rub at the tender hole, remembering the feel of his shaft piercing me.

Shaking my head, I try to clear my head and pull my hands away. Oh my skin feels so sensitive! Everywhere I touch is arousing, I’d be in the shower for hours if I can’t keep my hands off myself. Rinsing my hair, I can’t resist letting my hands fall to my breasts, weighing them in my palms, teasing my nipples with my fingers. I’d closed my eyes again and my legs are beginning to squeeze involuntarily together. Oh, this is ridiculous, I tell myself to get a grip, smiling as I squeeze at  my chest, enjoying the burst of sensation, knowing this wasn’t the grip I had meant. James was waiting for me as I stepped out of the shower, grinning like a cat with the cream:

“I thought I’d wait my turn, especially with the show you were putting on. You seemed to be enjoying yourself”

Although my face was flushed from the shower, an embarrassed heat spread up from my neck,

“I hadn’t realised you’d be watching” looking down I was amused to see him, erect again pointing invitingly towards me.

“You seemed to have liked what you saw anyway”. Leaning in to kiss him I’m careful to hold his waist at a distance while he tries to pull me to him. Pulling away from his addictive mouth, I chastise

“Oh no, you’re not bringing that sweaty body near me again till you’ve had a shower” and guide him into the cubicle. While it was very tempting to stay and watch James soap his toned thighs, I gather my thoughts to turn away, I had my hair to dry, makeup and clothes to pick.

Wandering through to my bedroom, the pale walls, fabrics and floors seem anaemic, what had I been thinking when I had chosen them. I’d have to see about fabrics first, I could bring some highlight colour in without too much effort. Standing with no more than a towel wrapped around me, I muse on possible designs for my bedroom, a tracery of lilac leaves on the bed, echoed on the wall behind. Humming contentedly, I sort through the few clothes in the cupboards, I didn’t seem to have brought much with me, funny I couldn’t remember what clothes I’d left at home, Oh well, it was a good enough excuse as any for some shopping later. I pick out a sleek clingy green halter dress, a bit formal but it would leave just enough to James’ imagination. Though I doubt he would imagine the black lace sheer mesh baby-doll nightie and matching G-sting I planned to put on later. Pulling on black panties, I try to relax, pushing my half erect cock into the soft material; it wasn’t working. I knew perfectly well that as soon as I came near to James, the profile of my dress would be ruined by my shaft raising the material like a tent. Sighing, I tuck my penis between my legs, nestling it between the soft folds of skin beneath, pulling my panties up tight against me. I pant as I straighten up, the movements are causing my shaft to rub against my vulval lips, the combined sensations almost bring me to my knees. This was going to be difficult, I was going to be in a constant state of arousal held like this. Biting the tip of my tongue in concentration, I slip on my bra, trying to ignore the clamour of desire felt as the fabric encases my engorged nipples. I set to drying my hair, concentrating as best I can but realise I will have to settle for a loose style. Folding it back, I secure it with a silver clasp. Searching through my table for makeup, leaves me exasperated to find such a limited array of shades and brushes. Peering in the mirror, I appraise what I shades I should use. My delicate fine heart shaped face, pale smooth skin a frame for large jade eyes. The full lips of my mouth tweak into a smile, I was going to enjoy taking James out on my first day living in the city. Yes this was my first proper day in the city.

My view blurs and I blink trying to clear my vision, someone else looking out at me from the mirror, an instant of recognition. Panic rising suddenly in my throat. I call out  for James, clutching at the solidity of the chair. James came running through, droplets still clinging to his skin, concern etched on his brow. I was staring at the mirror, my face now returned to it’s normal feminine form. James knelt and turned my head towards his “What is it?”

Shivering despite the warm room,

“In the mirror, another face in the mirror... I knew it was me, what I was. I can remember. You know I shouldn’t remember”  my voice trembled

James held my hands, “Look at yourself, remember how beautiful you are, you are still here, this is still you.”

I looked down over my breasts to my flat tummy, broad hips and tapering legs, but this time there was a faint fading memory of what had been before, it wasn’t me though, that was a different person. James met my eyes again

“You still feel you, you know this works because what you see and feel really is you, it doesn’t need to be asked”

I wipe a tear from my face,

“Yes, thank you, it just seems such a strange memory.” Looking down at the bulge held by my panties I moved to cup my crotch in my palm

“I also remember now that this doesn’t fit, this isn’t right yet”

James is closer now, moving to kiss me. Holding our lips together, his tongue gently presses past my lips. I would never tire of tasting his mouth, I feel myself relax into him, savouring the tenderness between us. He holds me firmly, reassuring in his hold before moving back to gaze upon me,

“I think I know what you are thinking. I was surprised, that part of you, didn’t change earlier when I came inside you. I think it means you are still hanging onto a remnant of the old you, although that seems unlikely looking at the rest of you.”

Frowning  at James, “It feels like I’m missing something when I”

I smooth my fingers over my captive penis, pressing it between my broad vulval lips, “..I want to press deeper, a deep ache inside, wanting something filling me.”

James wraps his arms around me in embrace, His glorious manhood presses against my panties, my head resting on his chest “So do you want me to fill you now?” He whispers.

My heart thumping in my chest, my own erection straining for release, oh yes, so much, wanting him inside me, thrusting long leisurely strokes...but I want to slow down a little, after our passionate love making earlier. I know  what I want right now is to ensnare James in my own sensuality, to have his desire build till he is desperate with wanting. The same way I ache for him now.

I nuzzle into his neck, kissing along his face to his lips, then peer up to meet his eyes “Oh I do very much want you to fill me... to overflowing, but I’d like you to experience much more of me before we get that far”

Separating myself from his embrace I smile wryly and turn to the mirror

“Anyway we’ve dinner to get ready for”. James stands seeming reluctant to release me

“Well OK then, but don’t take too long” and so saying, turns back to the bathroom, letting me admire the profile of his manhood as he walks from the room. He really was delicious. I lean back in the chair the moment he closes  the door behind him, and breathe in a deep shaky breath. How on earth am I supposed to get through dinner when James exuded so much temptation.


Diane was waiting for me in the lobby as I checked out of my hotel room, exchanging pleasantries with the reception staff I’d come to know over that last week. Collecting my small collection of cases, I had the concierge arrange us a taxi. Diane had been a great help these last few days and I was grateful for her company as we drove away from the hotel. Having completed the sale off my house, I’d been living the high life in my favourite hotel over the last week. It was a indulgence even for me, but seemed oddly unsatisfactory despite the generous water allowance and large airy rooms. Diane, of course, had disapproved of the expense but was clearly envious all the same, joining me for dinner most nights over the last week. Despite the surroundings and company, I felt ill at peace, eager to move on, the hotel little more than an elaborate waiting room.

Moving into the city permanently remained uncommon and judging from the complexity of paperwork I’d had to finalise over the last month, it was going to remain a rarity for some time to come. The appeal was undeniable, an escape from grime and overcrowding, the fresh air and water, and the food was remarkable. It wasn’t really surprising that a whole segment of society chose to spend as much time as they could visiting, it was an escape from their day to day lives, but for most, an escape that could only be temporary before returning to the confines of their old homes. Few really knew of the benefits of leaving the corporeal behind: vastly extended life expectancy, sustained intellect free from disease and dementia. It was kept legally complex and exclusively expensive. Preparing for the move had felt like joining an exclusive club with arcane rules and rituals. Even now I wondered if I’d really completed all the forms required, passing the trials to enter the inner sanctum.

Diane held my hand in the back of the cab, an unusual silence between us. I was grateful for the contact between us, her warm hand comforting in its simple communal touch. I turned to peer out through the hot acidic haze,  threads of gold smog traced over the vehicles around us. An ever changing tapestry of yellow hues against the blending grey brown of buildings and sky. From this air conditioned vantage, the noxious haze and concrete held a strange beauty but no appeal. I really wasn’t going to miss this.


Dinner in the city had alway been a truly delicious affair for me, a passionate relationship that I could only enjoy transiently before returning to the routine of work. Now I was going to make that relationship permenent, with the fine dining available in the city and the ingredients I could source to cook for myself. I was going to enjoy rediscovering the pleasures of cooking and baking in my own kitchen. However, I wasn’t about to set about preparing a meal in this dress, this was a time for celebration, and I knew just where to take James.

There were surprisingly few restaurants in the city and they remained exclusive and expensive. Minows was as selective as they came with city residency almost a prerequisite for a table.. A seafood restaurant with the most amazing array of fish and shellfish, far in excess of anything I’d have found at my old home. James sat across the table dressed in an impeccably tailored black business suit with an open neck black soft cotton shirt. it clung just enough for me to envisage his muscular chest beneath, undressing him with my eyes, remembering his skin slick with our exertions. He was very distracting, but to be fair, he seemed equally distracted by me.

I smile at the feel of his gaze invisibly caressing me, aware of his glances and his eyes slipping down my neck line, as we speak. Tilt my head as I listen, part my lips a little, encourage the simmering sexual tension between us. As each elegant plate is served, I find I can’t finish each dish. While it seems a sacrilege to leave fish on my plate, I just don’t seem to have the appetite. Instead I savour the taste of each delicately prepared piece and enjoy the ebb and flow of conversation across the table. Much of the pleasure arises from watching James enjoy the luxurious flavours and textures of each dish. It is clear it's a relief that I remembered more than expected of what I had been before, it feels so strange, like recalling a story about someone I knew well. I can recall details of my work and research, know that I am here in the city permanently now, but the old house is a fuzzy memory. Difficult to hold onto, frustratingly familiar without the detail I think I should remember. Shuffling in my seat, I regret the movement almost instantly. The pressure of the seat and rub of fabric crowds sensation against my concealed cock. Arousal breaks through my musings, a sudden flush and intake of breath. I can’t resist shifting my hips again, each subtle movement accelerating my pulse. Glancing up, James seems not to have noticed my increasing temperature, seemingly intent on extracting a langoustine from it’s shell. A flare of annoyance at his lack of attention: under the table, I slip out of my heels, and slide a stockinged foot up the inside of his lower leg. Now I have his attention. Lifting my glass to my lips , I take a slow sip and sink down in my seat a little, reaching my toes to his inner thigh. James is staring at me, his fingers holding the shell fish still, unmoving as I stroke his leg. Despite my long slender legs, I wasn’t going to be able to reach  far enough without slipping right under the table. The distance enforcing a restraint I wouldn't have alone, allowing me to maintain some decorum rather than descending on James and devouring him in heat. I put the glass down, smiling innocently at him “I do hope you are enjoying the meal”

 “Yes the food is wonderful, this course comes with some unexpected accompaniments.” A quizzical eyebrow is raised and he looks about the space our table is set in. Our table is secluded but I’m sure it would be fairly obvious what I was doing had anyone cared to look. Surprised at my boldness, I’m enjoying the frissons of possible discovery. I answer James with a languid stroke along his thigh down to his calf and am rewarded by a tension felt in his legs and his eyes drifting down to my cleavage. James sighs as I stroke at his legs again,

“This new you is surprisingly different, bolder, I hadn’t expected being with you to feel so different”. It was my turn to be quizzical and a memory glimpsed of the insecurity of that other person is a transient sobering thought. Lowering my head I peer down at my captive breasts and between down to my flat tummy covered by the sheer fabric, I run my hands over the outer curve of each mound, smoothing my dress down and onto my thighs. Looking back up at James “I guess I feel so much more comfortable like this, it’s a better fit for me here and here” I pointed first to my head then rested my hand over my heart. James nodded slowly and it felt all too serious all of a sudden. Breaking into a broad smile I can’t help but add with a girlish giggle.

“...and quite frankly, I love the attention”

James over dramatically rolls his eyes “I’ve created a monster... one that is going to get lots of attention touching herself like that”

I realise that I’d been absent mindedly massaging my left breast where I’d left my hand while talking. Squeezing more firmly with intent, my breathing start to deepen, and I squirm in my seat feeling my now too firm cock rub against my thick vulval lips. I’d meant to tease James but within a few heartbeats I realise it will be hard to leave it at that: I moan quietly as I begin to draw circles with my hips. James is captivated at the show I am putting on and I’m loving the attention. James stiffens suddenly, sitting up in his seat, his gaze focused behind me. Realising why just a bit late, the waiter appears at our side

“I hope you are enjoying your meal, is there anything I can get for either of you?”

I struggle to sit still, my right hand still covering my left breast and my cock twitching in my panties. James tries to draw his attention, which is quite clearly on my bust.

“Thank you, a wonderful meal, but I think we should probably be going now, don’t you think dear?” Grateful for the pause to slow my breathing “Thank you, yes, time to move on. I believe you already have the account for the charge”

The waiter clears the half eaten plates in the awkward silence that follows, his gaze darts repeatedly to my flushed chest, beads of perspiration glistening in the lamp light. I’m flattered by the attention and the effect I’m clearly having, the bulge at his groin clearly causing some discomfort for him as he turns to take the plates away. James chastises me “Poor man, look at the effect you’ve had on him. Come on we’d better get you out of here while you can still keep your clothes on”

Feeling far from settled I know I’m going to have to relieve this pressure and heat somehow before we move on.

“I think I’d better freshen up before we move on, I’ll just be a few minutes”

Rising from my chair I know from the ache between my legs and the still pounding pulse in my ears that it will take more than a few minutes for me to calm myself. Walking across the restaurant is an exercise in concentration, each step slides my twitching cock over my swollen vulval lips. Impossibly horny, desperate for release, by the time I reach the door I’d bed anything with a heartbeat. Looking back at James, he seems occupied with his phone and isn’t catching my eye. My chest heaving, I feel like my breasts are going to burst from my dress. My eye catches the waiter who served us, he’s watching me intently. Pausing to consider only for a moment, I give him my best come hither look and mouth ‘you, in here’ at him. Turning I step through the door giving an extra sway to my hips, but the additional movement and stimulation nearly brings me to my knees. Oh heavens, there’s a corridor and another door, at least it might be a bit more soundproof than just the one door. I half run, half stumble through the next door into a cooly lit restroom, thankfully no one else is there. I lean panting against the basin counter feeling my centre throb with desire. The door opens behind me. Rough hands grasp my ass and I push back into the holding fingers, fingers that push my dress up quickly, exposing my bare cheeks to the cold air and rough squeezing hands. I don’t want him to find quite everything so turn to face him for the first time since he entered the room. I hadn’t really looked at him before now. Coffee skin with dark eyes and slicked back hair, Italian I guess, he’ll do fine for what I want. His hands still on my bare cheeks, delve past the thong of fabric to my ass hole, oh I like this. Placing a finger on his lips to keep him silent I lower myself down to crouch before him, saliva flooding my mouth eager to release the bulge before me. His fingers are at his waist, quickly freeing his trousers, with his hardened length springing free. He’s a bit thinner than James but just as long. Heart pounding I really can’t wait any longer and so plunge my mouth over him, swallowing his prick in one movement then pull back tonguing his glans sucking hard. There’s a rewarding ummph and sharp intake in breath above me. I repeat the same move a few more times; hearing his breathing deepen, I know I could demand just about anything from him. With a slurp, I let his swollen cock head slip free and stand up. He’s looking flushed and a little wide eyed. Summoning my best sultry voice, “I want you to fuck me in my ass. Can you do that for me?”

He nods just a bit too eagerly and I turn to lean again on the counter, hitching up my dress again, offering up my pale broad rump. I can’t believe I just asked a stranger to fuck me, but that is exactly what I need right now. Not sex, not making love, just fucked. His hands push apart my cheeks and his cock head is pressed against my tight hole, pushing for entry. I push back hard and ahh he’s in. Not as sore as expected, there’s a slickness smoothing his entry that I suspect is the remains of James’ seed from earlier. He buries his length in me, his thighs tight against my ass. Releasing a hand from the counter I reach into my panties and squeeze at my cock, heat and pleasure pounding out from the slap of his thighs against me. My thumb flicks over my own cock head and I’m over the edge. A convulsion grips across my pelvis, almost painful my rigid cock spasms in my hand and muscles tightening round the cock in my ass. There’s a grunt behind me and my ass is filled as his shaft swells rhythmically emptying himself into my bowels. My orgasm keeps building, on and on and I grip at the counter trying not to buckle to the floor. I hear a guttural animal cry and realise it’s me, panting as the the waves fade, and my rigid length softens in my hand. I’m grateful to find my hand dry, no telltale stain on my panties. I reach back stroking my labia revelling in their soft fullness and warmth as my breathing slows.  All too quickly, he backs out leaving an odd aching feeling of emptiness. A rustle of fabric, the door bangs and he’s gone. Still trying to slow my pulse, I raise my head to peer in the mirror. Flushed with my hair in disarray, I smile with deep sexual satisfaction. That was really good. Suddenly aware of the time that has passed, quickly smoothing my dress, recover my bag, a brush through my hair and am touching up my lippy when the door opens to a group of three in loud conversation. Smiling briefly at them, I tidy my things and leave.

The restaurant seems preternaturally loud after the echo of the restroom but no one seems to notice as I walk, much more comfortably across to James. He’s just putting his phone away and stands to take my hand. “Everything Ok?” His question is innocently asked and I give silent thanks to the evident soundproofing the corridor provided.

“Yes” I smile meeting his eyes “In fact great thank you”

James slips my coat over my shoulders and we slip out of the restaurant together.

to be continued