The next day I thought about Rachel quite a bit at work, and just what "gender fluid" might really mean to our relationship. I was planning to see Ray this evening. We'll be grilling brats and corn on the cob. I'm looking forward to being with Ray, though I'm not sure how it will be – will I think more of Rachel? Or will I now be attracted to him?

I needed to figure myself out now that we'd figured Rachel out – at least sort-of. I sucked her clitty thinking of her as a woman, but now that I know she is more gender fluid, I don't know if that makes a difference.

Since I've been completely intimate with Rachel I wasn't sure how I would feel about Ray. They are the same person, and maybe I'd want to go down on him. I wasn't sure if I was turning gay or not. I wasn't afraid of that, but just needed to know.

After work I changed my clothes and went to Ray's. I brought beer, since he was supplying the food. He greeted me warmly and said it was nice to see me, as I hadn't seen him for a while (having seen Rachel instead).

Ray got the grill started and we each grabbed a beer. We talked about our usual things, each cautious to avoid mentioning Rachel. Even though I had been with Rachel nearly every day, Ray and I had a lot to catch up on. I remembered that the first time I met Rachel was when I stopped by to lend Ray a couple of conduit benders, and nothing was the same afterward!

"So how is that conduit project coming along?" I asked.

"Come see it," Ray said, leading me to the back of his property, which bordered a wooded area. Ray had bent different diameters of conduit into a decorative trellis, and already had some plants growing on it.

"Nice work!" I said, "I would never have thought to do that with conduit."

"It's good that you mentioned it," said Ray, "I'd forgotten that I still have your conduit benders – I'll get them out of the garage for you."

We returned to the grill and the brats and corn were nearly done. As I sat drinking my beer, I found myself looking at Ray's backside and thinking about Rachel's luscious buns. I tried to put it out of my mind, but I couldn't help but think that Rachel was under Ray's clothes, and I missed her already.

Ray dished up the food and we sat down to eat. Things were quiet for a while as I tried to figure out what to say next. Finally, I just blurted out, "So how are we going to make all this work?"

"You mean Ray and Rachel?" Ray asked, and I nodded.

"I haven't figured that out," Ray admitted, "But I thought we'd just figure it out as we go."

"I certainly know the difference between Ray and Rachel," I said, "But it's still kind of confusing to me."

"It's a little confusing to me as well," Ray confessed, "You look the same to me whether I am Ray or Rachel, but I need to act differently depending on what mode I'm in."

"I hadn't thought of that," I said, "I guess it's easier for me because you look so different. Do you find yourself wanting to relate to me as if you were in girl-mode?"

"A little bit," Ray said, "But it's easy to keep under wraps – When you arrived, I had to hold back from kissing you."

"I wasn't tempted to kiss you," I said, "But there's something else . . ."

"What's that?" asked Ray.

"Well, you know it took me awhile to warm up to going down on Rachel, but when I did, I really liked it. I've been wondering if I'd want to go down on you, and if that made me gay."

"Are you afraid of maybe being gay?" Ray asked.

"No, but I just want to know," I said, "Would it make a difference to you if I was gay?"

"Not at all," Ray assured me, "We're best friends and we've been through more together than most others."

"That's reassuring," I said, "We've been through a lot of new stuff lately – it's good to know I can count on our friendship holding up."

"Marty," Ray said, "I'm not asking you to do this, but if you wanted to try going down on me, it would be okay."

"Would you like me to?" I asked.

"Not exactly," he replied, "But it's okay with me if you want to try."

"Ray," I responded, "I liked it so much with Rachel that it keeps popping back into my mind and I can't shake it – I guess I do need to find out."

Ray suggested that we go inside where it would be private.

We went to the couch and Ray unbuckled his pants and let them drop to the floor. He stood before me with a bulge in his . . . panties!"

I dropped to my knees and kissed the bulge through the silky panties. "Ray, this is really messing with my mind now – are you Ray or Rachel now?"

"Sorry," said Ray, "I'm Ray, but I can see how that would be confusing – let me take care of that."

Ray slipped off the panties and then sat down on the couch. He was partially erect, and his cock looked just as I remembered Rachel's clitty. Ray's legs were smooth and soft like Rachels – I took Ray's cock in my hand and gently squeezed it and stroked it a bit.

As I did, Ray and I made eye contact, and I asked, "Ray, do you really want me to do this?"

"I won't stop you," he said, "But it's entirely your choice."

By now I had Ray fully hard and knew it was time to decide. I closed my eyes and imagined Rachel.

"Marty, please open your eyes!" said Ray, "I don't want there to be any doubt in your mind about what you're doing."

I opened my eyes as I firmly gripped Ray and lowered my head to take him into my mouth.

Then I stopped abruptly and said, "I can't do this!" and pulled back.

"I'm so sorry Ray," I said, "I let you down."

"No, you didn't," Ray assured me, "I'm glad you chose not to."

"Why is that?" I asked.

"When you are with Rachel we are a straight male-female couple," explained Ray, "But when you are with Ray, we are two straight male friends, and I like it that way."

I got up and handed Ray back the panties, which he slipped back on, awkwardly tucking his still-hard cock into them.

"Sorry to leave you like that," I said.

"No worries," replied Ray, "I'll take care of it later."

We went back outside and sat enjoying the outdoors, along with a few more beers. We continued to talk, like old times. I felt much more at-ease now that I'd figured out my sexuality. Ray said that he planned to be Rachel about half the time and hoped that all of that time would be with me, which I heartily welcomed.

It was getting late, so I said I'd be leaving, but had one last thing to say.

"I'm all ears," said Ray.

"I love Rachel," I said, "And because Ray and Rachel are the same person, that means I love you too, Ray."

"I love you too, Marty," Ray said, giving me a hug. I felt like kissing him, but I didn't.

  To be continued . . .

Feel free to contact me with your comments or requests.
    –Bill Beaumonte (oral_guy_2000@yahoo.com)