Date: Tue, 19 Jun 2012 08:08:45 +0200
From: Amy Redek <adultreading@gmail.com>
Subject: Francis. Part Three,

    This story is for persons of eighteen years or over.  All comments,
good or bad, are welcome and all will be answered.

     Part Three

     Life had new meaning for me now in this role. I was dressing as I had
always wanted to and being accepted as I was. I was singing and dancing
every night and I had a wonderful time.

     When not on the stage, we mixed with the passengers and danced with
them, though I kept the drinking down. Sometimes we even danced with the
officers to try and liven things up. One of them, the Fourth Officer,
seemed to single me out to dance with, and then remembered that he was the
one that had winked at me when I'd had my audition in front of the Staff
Commander.

     Diane and I were also hostesses at one child's birthday party and
helped at the Tombola and other games organised for the passengers benefit.

                                                           *

     Then we arrived at Fremantle, but didn't get a chance to go ashore as
we were only there for a few hours, but it was Australia, half way round
the world from England. Only a few passengers disembarked, the majority
were bound for Melbourne and Sydney.

     The other person to leave the ship was Cynthia. She was carried off on
a stretcher to the fond farewells of Diane and David. She was glad to be
going so that the hospital could see to her broken hip and relieve her of
the pain she was still suffering.

                                                           *

     We were well over halfway across the Great Australian Bight and only a
day out of Melbourne when my world was smashed for the second time. We'd
had breakfast and were just starting to rehearse for the last night's
performance for those passengers that would be leaving the ship at
Melbourne.

     `Would you come to the Pursers office please,' was the request from
one of my ex cabin mates. My heart gave a lurch and I almost fell off the
stage, only being saved at the last moment by David. No, no, no! Not again,
please not again, I was saying to myself as I stumbled my way down to the
next deck and that office.

     `Sit down Francis,' the Purser asked. I must have been as white as a
sheet and I was trembling something awful.

     `Please not again,' I begged. I must say that the poor man did have a
heart after all, because tears began to run down his face as he nodded at
me.

     `It's your other aunt,' he said, his voice choked with emotion. `I am
most terribly, terribly sorry to have to do this to you again.' He handed
me the telegraph paper and turned away, reaching into his pocket for a
handkerchief. Tears were already running down my face as I held the flimsy
in my hand. I didn't, couldn't even lift it, let alone read it. I just sat
there crying. Somebody, I don't know who, took it from my hand and read out
the words that my brain was already screaming wasn't true.

     "Regret Aunt Ethel died yesterday stop All here devastated stop Phone
me soonest stop Anguished love Donald". The hand finished reading and put
the paper back in mine.

     Diane came bursting into the office and quickly knelt by my side,
taking my hand in hers. She squeezed it as she lifted me up from the chair
and somehow got me to our cabin, fending people off on the way. I spat out
the gin she gave me in a glass, as I didn't want to get raped again. That
was the way my mind was working, but accepted the coffee that came and that
was all that I could drink.

     I came to my senses later in the afternoon and tried to apologise for
the trouble I had put people through, but they kept telling me that they
understood. They didn't want me to do the evening show, but I insisted that
we still went ahead with our performance. I'm still not sure how I got
through the rest of the afternoon and evening, but I still went on the
stage that night.

     It was to be my solo song before our finale that I stopped David from
playing what was supposed to be the song for me, and I stood there alone on
the stage and spoke to the audience.

     `This morning I was informed of the death of my Aunt, my last and only
relative. I'd like to dedicate this song to her. It was her favourite and
one of mine.'

     I then sung the "Ave Maria", and throughout the whole of that
beautiful piece, I was there in the church, looking at my aunts in the
front pew, smiling as I sang their favourite song. I watched Donald walk
down and stand behind them, his hands on their shoulders. He too was
smiling at me and he was nodding his approval as the sun shone through the
stained glass windows behind them, giving each an aura around the heads. I
know tears were pouring down my face as I sang, but managed to finish
before I choked on my tears and fled from the stage.

     I left a deafening silence behind me for several minutes before there
came a thunderous applause from all that were out there to listen to me
sing. David, bless him, went into an improvisation for the finale and Diane
supported him to bring the performance to an end.

     At the finish, Diane came rushing into the dressing room to console
me, but by that time I had somewhat recovered my composure, which I think
was some relief to her. I was even aware enough to remove the make-up off
my face before we left to go to our cabin after saying goodnight to David.

     Diane then undressed me and put me down into her bottom bunk before
undressing herself and getting into the bunk with me and holding me close
to her. She held me as I cried and with a motherly instinct, put her breast
to my mouth for me to suckle on till I fell asleep. No, we didn't have sex.

                                                           *

     As we docked in Melbourne the next morning, nobody bothered us at
all. Diane brought me breakfast to the cabin, but I couldn't eat. I just
slept the whole day through, just like at Bombay. We were due to stay in
port for three days, and it was on the second day that I roused myself up
and got dressed, and with Diane, went ashore.

     It was the Port of Melbourne really, the city being a good train's
journey away, so we only wandered round the port's town. There we found to
our surprise that we weren't allowed into any of the bars for a drink. Men
only, chauvinistic pigs Diane called them. They also closed the bars, which
all seemed to be in hotels at six p.m. anyway.

     We made our way back to the ship and then I remembered that I had to
call Donald. I woke him up, because I had forgotten the time difference. We
hadn't many coins between us, so I didn't speak for long and I cried
through most of our talk anyway.

     Aunt Ethel, it appeared, had been to put some flowers on her sister's
grave who just been buried the day before, when she must have
tripped. Donald had found her unconscious and had her rushed to
hospital. It was found that she had fractured her skull and died that night
without regaining consciousness. She was to be buried this very day,
alongside her sister and next to my mother and father.

     Our money ran out before I could say that I loved him and wished that
I could be there with him at this time. Diane gave me her handkerchief to
wipe my eyes and blow my nose before we left the phone box.

                                                           *

     It was only a two day run between Melbourne and Sydney, and we managed
to do the shows without me putting that much effort into them. In spite of
my grieving, I got a thrill as we rounded The Heads as they are called that
lead into Jackson Bay. Then we steamed towards and under the magnificent
harbour bridge to see that it was much more impressive than the pictures I
had seen. The huge construction arched its way across the water from two
massive concrete structures, linking the residential area to the city
itself.

     The harbour was alive with little boats of all shapes and sizes that
darted across the sparkling water, dodging in and out of the paths of the
ferry boats. We passed the naval base with its grey painted warships tied
up and steamed on to our berth at Pyrmont. The visitor's area for our quay
was on the roof of a long low building that ran the whole length of the
pier, and was crowded with, I assumed, many friends and relatives waving
and waiting for our passengers.

     The three of us watched from the boat deck as we were tied up
alongside and the gangways were quickly craned into position and soon
crowded as the passengers began to disembark. I was surprised at how
quickly the roof emptied and the gangways reduced to a mere trickle of
stragglers. Going back inboard seemed so strange, the silence, and the
absence of engine vibration and general noise of people moving about.

     Now, without the ship's forward movement giving us a gentle breeze,
the air inside became hot and humid even though it was just coming up to
winter in this part of the hemisphere. I began to sweat as soon as we
entered the dressing room to clean the place up, and take stock of what new
supplies David thought we might need for the return voyage. Diane said that
we should do some work on repairing some of the dresses and alter some
others for me to wear.

     But it was decided that we should take this day off and go ashore to
do some sightseeing. There really wasn't much for me to wear, so Diane and
I would do some shopping as well, to buy me a couple of decent frocks. I
was also desperate to buy my own supply of deodorants and get my own
make-up case. This was where that fifty pounds was about to come to my
rescue.

     We'd had our shower and Diane sat me down and showed me how to shave
the light down from under my armpits, as it looks much better when dancing
and wearing sleeveless dresses.

     David, waiting for us in the lounge, was dressed in blazer and
flannels and looked quite cool with his open necked shirt. Diane looked
very pretty in her summer frock and she made me look like the ugly
duckling, but I hoped that soon, I would look like a swan. We were just
about to leave, and Diane had picked up her handbag and swinging round, hit
a messenger with it. I'd come to hate these boys. They were the harbingers
of doom and despair for me, so I now dreaded to hear what he had to say,
and was much relieved when he turned to David.

     `The Staff Commander wishes to see you in his office,' he said, then
added, `all of you.' David cocked a quizzical look at us while I heaved a
sigh of relief that it wasn't to be the Purser's office. The boy ran off,
and David led the way up to the bridge deck where the Staff Commander had
his office, though I found it was really just the sitting room of his
cabin, but still ten times the size of what Diane and I shared. He welcomed
us in and asked us to sit down, indicating a settee and an armchair, and he
sat in a chair that was by his large desk.

     `Let me say first, that we, the captain and I, have been very pleased
with the shows and other work that you have done on the outward leg of the
voyage. Especially,' and he smiled at me, `the addition you er, acquired
after the mishap to...to...'

     `Cynthia,' David supplied.

     `Yes Cynthia. I've er,' he picked up a letter, `I've been told that
she has had a hip operation and is recovering quite well, but it will be
some time before she can be shipped home. I have also received a letter
from London confirming that, er, Francis,' he'd had to look at another
letter to get my name I noticed. `Francis here, is allowed to stay as a
member of the entertainment team.'

     David and Diane gave a little clap at this news and I gave them a
smile as my heart swelled with pride and gratitude that I'd been accepted.

     `Now to the not so good news, or good news. It depends which way you
want to look at it. We are here in Sydney for two weeks, which I think
you've been looking forward to. Some shore leave and relaxation, which I'm
afraid will have to be curtailed. I've been instructed to tell you that you
have to transfer to our newest liner, the "Indus" in Melbourne.'

     We three quickly looked at each other at this. `They've had some
problems there and sent the whole team packing. Now we will be sorry to
have you go because your shows have been truly entertaining, which is what
it's all about.' He waffled on in this vein for several minutes, as I
thought of the sightseeing that I was going to miss. I dragged my mind back
to what else he had to say.

     `So you will have just today and tomorrow here before taking the train
to Melbourne. That will take all day and the Indus will be sailing on the
following day for the trip back to England.' And Donald, I said to myself.

     He rose from his chair to indicate that the meeting was over and shook
our hands telling us to see the Purser for travel details etc. We trooped
back down to the lounge where Diane went and got some drinks from the
dressing room, and we sat down at a table to discuss what had to be done in
the short time after this news.

     While David and Diane discussed the packing of their trunks with
clothes and other paraphernalia, my thoughts were of England and
Donald. The Indus was a faster ship, and I would be leaving Australia ten
days earlier than expected, so I should arrive back at home two weeks
before I was due. This pleased me immensely. I then thought of what I would
need to buy and made a mental list and hoped that Diane would have enough
time to help me get what I wanted, and it turned out that she did.

     But it was decided that as the day had half gone, it would be better
to get everything packed there and then, as it would show us what we needed
to buy the next day. So my first day in Sydney was spent sorting clothes
and helping to pack them into the trunks and listing what creams, rouges
and such like were needed for our make-up cases. I decided that I would
blow the whole fifty pounds I had on outfits for myself, plus a nice
present for Donald, but sadly, not have to buy anything for my aunts.

     We went down for our dinner in the dining saloon, which we usually
did, but not at the same time as the passengers. Other Petty Officers'
dined with us and sometimes, junior deck officers' as well. One of the
stewards had just taken our order when one of these junior officers'
stopped by our table. I recognised him as being the Fourth Officer who had
winked and had also danced with me.

     `I hear that you are transferring to the Indus,' he said.

     `News sure travels fast,' David replied.

     `It certainly does in a small ship like this,' he laughed. He had nice
white teeth and a very pleasant smile. `I only found out because I too am
being transferred, though I have to go tomorrow. It will be nice to see
familiar faces among the new people we will meet. See you in Melbourne
then. Goodnight and enjoy dinner.' He touched his cap and departed to our
chorus of goodnights. After dinner, we turned in early because we had a lot
of shopping to do the next day.

                                                           *

     I'm glad I had Diane with me, because I'd never been in a big city
before. London I had only travelled across by taxi from one station to
another, not walked about in. I would have gotten completely lost here.

     Not only that, but I'd never been shopping before except in our own
little village corner shop. We took a taxi from Pyrmont into the city and
it was far bigger than I expected, with shops crammed close together, heavy
traffic and lots and lots of people.

     We had to find a bank first so that I could change my Sterling into
Australian currency before we could pay for the taxi, who had to wait until
we'd done so. I found that I then had over a hundred pounds to spend, their
exchange rate being more than two to one. I would have splurged the lot in
the first shop we came to if it hadn't been for Diane. She was a thrifty
shopper with us buying one thing here, another thing there, slowly loading
us up as we progressed with my wardrobe. I finished up wearing completely
new clothes from what I had been wearing when we'd left the ship.

     For Donald I bought, on reflection afterwards, a somewhat too gaudy a
summer shirt with pictures of Australia all over it. Also a decorated
boomerang that I was assured it worked when thrown properly. Never did
though, no matter how many times we threw the damn thing, it never came
back. I even bought a beautiful scarf for Diane and a nice cravat for
David.

     The one thing that will always stay in my mind of Sydney, was walking
down the street in my new clothes on and being whistled at by some passing
workmen. I even managed to swing my hips provocatively in response and with
a secret smile within my heart.

     It was two tired girls that piled into a taxi in the late afternoon,
filling up what little space was left with all our bags and boxes. It was a
relief to get to our cabin and then fill that small area with our
purchases. I was pleased when Diane produced a beer for me instead of the
gin, and warm though it was, it was most welcome to sit down and drink the
whole bottle at one go. It made me burp out very loud and we both laughed.

     We managed to cram my extra clothes into a trunk and met up with David
for dinner. He'd seen the Purser on his return from his own shopping
expedition and had all the details for our travels the next morning. The
meal was a somewhat sombre affair, each with their own thoughts, mine being
that I wanted to erase that outward passage from the hurts that it
brought. I concentrated on the fact that we would soon be back on our way
to England and Donald.

                                                           *

     It was a very hot and dusty train ride that seemed interminable
because of the slowness, stopping at every station with just the odd person
getting off or on at these deserted stops. It was late when we eventually
arrived in Melbourne, and as there doesn't seem to be a twilight period
down under, it was soon dark.

     As I've mentioned earlier, Melbourne itself is separate from the port
and would mean another train journey to get to the ship. This I didn't want
to do and neither did the others, so with the few pounds I had remaining,
spent them on two taxis from Melbourne station to the ship. One for us and
the second with all our bags and trunks. Diane and David were very
grateful, as it would have taken us ages, manhandling our baggage on our
own.

     We could see that the Indus was indeed much larger than the
Strathmuir, being longer and at least two decks higher. This we saw as the
taxis stopped at the bottom of the gangway. I paid the drivers and while
Diane and I stayed with our things, David went aboard to announce our
arrival and arrange for help to get things aboard. He was soon back with
two stewards who picked up our trunks to take on the ship while we followed
with the rest.

     The cabin allotted to Diane and myself was much larger than our old
one. It had been assumed that I was a female because of my Christian name
being Francis and wearing a dress, they believed it to be so. David again,
had to share a cabin with a member of the Pursers office.

     We didn't stop to unpack because we only just had enough time to get
down to the dining saloon for dinner. Now we were aboard, we were much
happier, even more so when David splashed out on a bottle of wine for us to
have with our first meal. I looked out for that young Fourth Officer, but
he'd probably eaten earlier because we were the last people to have sat
down. I must say that the food was a definite improvement and the two
glasses of wine rounded off a pleasant meal.

     With dinner over, we returned to our cabins and found that the trunks
had been taken up to the lounge where the dressing room was. Diane wanted
to get them unpacked to hang out any creases and to get things sorted,
because we had to have everything ready for the next evening when we would
start earning our wages.

     We left David to roam round the ship whilst we went up to the lounge
to see our dressing room. Before leaving the cabin, I changed my shoes into
a pair of high heels. I had to get used to wearing them in public and
thought it best to get the practice while the ship wasn't moving.

     It was a strange experience for me, keeping my balance and learning to
keep a straighter back, but with my earlier lessons from my aunt on
deportment, it wasn't so bad. It was getting used to the strain on the
calves of my legs that would take time. We giggled quite a bit, Diane and I
as we made our way up through the decks and companionways to the promenade
deck where the lounge was.

     She had to steady me several times, especially on the stairs, though I
found it more difficult walking down, as you had to use the heels then. If
anybody had seen us, they might have thought that I was half drunk the way
I occasionally staggered, only to be held upright by Diane. We made it
though without me falling over and walked on into the lounge.

     Diane gave out a low whistle when we walked in through the big double
doors. It was almost twice the size of the last one and the stage also
twice as big, even a foot or so higher. It had steps at the left hand side
for you to get up there. Our trunks were by a curtain at the back, just
opposite these steps, and guessed that this curtain concealed the door to
the dressing room.

     This proved to be the case as Diane pulled this curtain aside to
reveal the door. She opened it to darkness and fumbled around inside for
the light switch. When light flooded the room, we were pleasantly surprised
to find that it was about three times the size of our last one. Down the
left hand side were two large mirrors with lights round them above a good
sized dressing table and four chairs before them. On the right were some
shelves and lots of hanging space with a generous space between these racks
and the dressing table.

     `Now this is what I call a dressing room,' Diane exclaimed. `Room to
move and not get your elbow jogged just as you're putting on the
eyeliner. Well David will want the seat closest to the door, so which one
do you want?'

     `No. I'm the newcomer here. You take the one you're most comfortable
with and I'll settle for one of those left,' I answered her.

     `Okay. I'll have the far end, and that's still too close to David.'

     `In that case, I'll have the one next to you if you don't mind?'

     `Sensible choice. He nicks your cream if it's too close to him, so
you'll have to learn to keep the same cream that he uses on the opposite
side to him. Well I'm happy with the place, so let's start filling it up.'

     We dragged the trunks inside and started to unpack. My new clothes
were on the top so they went up first into the middle of the hanging rail,
and then the rest were hung up as we came to them. Diane's went to the far
end with Cynthia's old things between hers and mine with David's closest to
the door. Make up was put out and soon the trunks were empty and there was
enough space under the racks for them to be pushed out of sight.

     `That's a good job done,' Diane said, pushing a damp lock of hair off
her forehead. `I could do with a drink and a shower, how about you?'

     `Couldn't agree more,' I replied, following her out, switching the
light off behind me and closing the door.

     We went below, me holding very tightly to the handrails as I carefully
negotiated every step downwards, wobbling a little bit on those heels. Then
we promptly got lost as we entered the crew area.

     It was quite late and the alleyways were deserted of anyone to ask for
directions. But we did eventually find the right alleyway and Diane said
that David usually was able to find drinks and he might have some in his
cabin. So we stopped at his door and she knocked on it.

     `Hold on a minute,' called out a voice that neither of us recognised,
and we could hear whispered voices and sounds of movement before the door
was unlocked and a stranger looked out at us. He was wearing a pair of
trousers only, no socks, shoes or shirt.

     `Oh, sorry to disturb you, but I was looking for David,' Diane asked.

     `In here,' David's voice called out and the other man stood aside for
us to enter. He was lying in the lower bunk, a sheet covering his lower
half, he too wasn't wearing a shirt.

     `Sorry David. I didn't know you'd gone to bed already. We've unpacked
everything and hoped that you'd have a couple of spare bottles of beer,'
Diane said.

     `Can you spare a couple Dean?' David asked the other man who was
hovering close to us.

     `Sure,' he said, turning and going to a small closet, `how about
four?'

     `That's even better, thanks,' she said.

     My glance around the cabin from the doorway saw David, with his hair
tousled and a somewhat sickly smile on his face. I'm pretty sure that he
had an erection underneath the sheet covering him, but what had caught my
eye was the pot of cream that was lying on the deck.

     `Thank you very much,' Diane said as she took the four bottles of beer
from Dean. `Nice to have met you,' and we left and went into our own cabin,
further along the alleyway. She kicked the door shut behind her and joined
me in sitting on the lower bunk. She opened a bottle of beer and passed it
to me before opening one for herself. I took a long pull at mine before I
burst out laughing.

     `What's the joke?' she asked, taking a swig from her bottle.

     `Didn't you see?' I asked, trying to drink the beer, laugh and talk at
the same time.

     `See what?' asked a puzzled Diane.

     `The interruption we made.'

     `What interruption?' which sent me into another paroxysm of laughter.

     `Coitus interruptus! Dean was in the middle of fucking our dear old
David.'

     `Nooo,' Diane exclaimed, dragging the word out, her eyes open wide.

     `Yesss,' I mimicked, dragging the word out as she had. `Believe me, he
was,' I said holding my stomach. `That Dean had his cock right up David
when you knocked on the door. His face was a picture.'

     `Which one?' Diane asked, and then we both howled with laughter as we
held each other, laughing and giggling like two schoolgirls.

     `It didn't take him long to become attached to someone,' Diane said,
and after a pause, realised what she had just said, and went off into
another scream of laughter. I was already laughing having picked it up
straight away. At least it made a happy ending, pun unintended, to our
travel weary day, and we soon finished the beers and got into our
respective bunks and were soon asleep.

                                                           *

     `Come on sleepy head,' was my wakeup call from Diane, plus the shaking
of my arm. I had the top bunk being the younger and more agile, because the
best way to get in and out of these upper bunks was to swing from one of
the many overhead pipes. I also used to use them later for exercise. I
swung out of my bunk and dropped down in front of her.

     The fact that I was naked didn't faze her now, having got used to the
fact that I always slept in the raw. I grabbed my bathrobe and we went off
to the showers. I had to be careful in this respect, because the ship
carried other female members in the crew, so we had a separate shower and
wash room from the men.

     One thing to my advantage was, that most of these other females
started work much earlier than us, so it was usually empty by the time we
got there. I had to play coy if by chance there was another female there,
and would only take off my robe when behind the shower curtain. This was
the only area of the ship that gave Diane concern over me. The only other
chance of being discovered to be a male would be if I had to have any kind
of physical examination by the doctor. But that was negative thinking, so
we went for our shower and the place was empty and we had our shower and
were soon back into our cabin to get dressed.

     Now I was spoilt for choice. I had a nice wardrobe of dresses, but I
picked out a simple frock because we weren't with passengers yet, but knew
that we had to do some rehearsals before our first show that evening. The
ship would be casting off just before dinner and we would be well out to
sea when that was over and they would then be looking to us for their
evening's entertainment. But that would come later after we had rehearsed.

     It is difficult for me to describe exactly how I felt, a boy, who in
his mind was a girl, getting dressed to give the illusion that he was
one. It was such a sensual pleasure just to get dressed and would often
have an erection as I did so. Diane noticed this and often remarked on it,
but there was nothing I could put into words to help her understand what I
was going through.

     I had taken off my robe after coming from the shower and then patted
dry the damp bits I'd missed. I would sit in the chair and pick up one of
my new stockings that I had bought, and roll it in my hands as Diane had
showed me till there was just the toe part showing. This I would then put
over my own toes and with a slow movement of my leg, stretch it out,
rolling the stocking up till it was fully on and just below my thigh. I
would then repeat this with the other leg.

     Next I would pick up the suspender belt and with it the wrong way
round, clip the two ends together on the double hooks provided. Then twist
it round my body so that the clip was at the back. Taking one dangling
strap in one hand, I'd pull the stocking tight over my knee and push the
button on the strap under the stocking and fit it into the clip. Then the
other leg.

     By this time I would already have an erection and it would be sticking
right out when I stood up to try and fix the side of the leg clips. This I
found was the most difficult, twisting one's upper torso round and blindly
fumbling to get the button under the stocking and the clip over, and then
try to get the two to meet properly to be clipped into place.

     But when successfully done, I would stand up with my legs encased in
the stockings, held up by the belt and my cock sticking out like a flag
pole. This happened for many years until it became a normal thing for me to
see and feel that I stopped taking notice of it doing that every time.

     Still, with this thing stuck out, I had to put on panties just to
squash it back against my stomach. I might add here that the length of my
penis had grown at least another inch and a half, when erect, from when I
had my first ejaculation. Whether it was part of my growing up or the
constant use of my pulling it nearly every night, I'm not too sure.

     So dressed in stockings, suspender belt and panties, I would then put
on my bra. How I missed not really having tits to put inside those
cups. Like the belt, I first learned to clip it up at the front before
twisting it round and then working my arms through the straps before
pulling it up and over my shoulders. This I would settle it properly and
make sure that the padding was not loose.

     Depending on what dress I chose, determined how it was to be put
on. Some were slipped over the head and settled down to fit snugly over the
hips, or stepped into and then drawn up the body and my arms put through to
settle it on my shoulders. Whichever dress I chose, I still had to readjust
it to the bra I was wearing or the other way round.

     Next came the choice of shoes. Most of them were low heeled and the
best for wearing on a ship where the movement can sometimes be
unpredictable, or for dancing on the stage. High heels were out for the
time being until I'd had more practice in being able to walk in them, let
alone dance.

     Even at that point I knew, without even seeing myself in a mirror that
I was now like a very desirable female. My hair, which had been cut to
shoulder length before I went to the training school, and had refused every
order to have it cut further, now had a luxuriant sweep across my
shoulders. There wasn't any need to touch it, except to make sure I brushed
it every night. It really was my crowning glory.

     Finally dressed, I was almost ready. The next operation was the part
that took me the most time to master, and that was putting on make-up. Too
much made me look like a tart, and not enough made me look like a walking
corpse. It really took the whole voyage home before I was capable to make
up my own face and look the part that I so wished to be, a young, healthy,
desirable looking female.

     I can, even now, though I'm too old to care one way or the other,
still give myself an erection by just looking at pictures of myself in
those days of becoming a woman. Even if I say so myself, I was a beauty,
and had the innocence of mien that drew men to me like a candle does to
moths, as you will find out further into these pages.

     But it wasn't other men that I wanted, I only wanted my Donald. All I
wanted was to be a woman for him, and here, to me then, I was that woman.

     So with a swirl to my frock, I was ready, and went with Diane to get
our breakfast. We knocked on David's cabin door and all we got in response
was that he would see us later.

     `Poor soul,' I said, rolling my eyes at Diane, `he sounds as if he's
all pooped out!' This started us off on another laughing jag, and had
barely controlled ourselves before we reached the dining saloon. I was
ravenous, and ate nearly everything that was on offer. Our menu's, I might
mention, were nowhere near as comprehensive as to what the passengers would
get, but it was still substantial considering what I had seen during the
war years. Remember, this was 1947 and rationing was still in effect in
England.

     Full and to the point of bursting, we left the saloon to go up to what
would be our place of labour for the next five or six weeks. We, Diane and
myself, began doing a few tap dance routines to the record player before
David showed up. Bleary eyed, and I said in an audible aside to Diane, that
he looked as if he'd been fucked from here to breakfast time, and I don't
think I was far off the remark, judging by his scowl.

     He harummphed his pleasure at the dressing room and what we had done,
and then promptly disappeared for another two hours. At least he was more
like his usual self when he did reappear and then we got down to a serious
rehearsal. We bypassed lunch and kept at it until we could do no more for
our first opening on our new ship.

     We went down for our early dinner which had to be finished by six
thirty to give the stewards, that is waiters to the lay man, time to re-lay
their tables for the passengers whose dinner started at seven. We'd
finished our meal and were just passing through the tables that were still
occupied and saw the young Fourth Officer from our last ship, now wearing
Third Officer stripes.

     `Hello,' I said, pausing at his table, `big, isn't she? More so than
the last one.'

     `Hello again,' he said, laying down his knife and fork and half rising
from his seat.

     `Oh, please, sit down. I didn't mean to interrupt your
meal. Will...will you be coming up to the lounge tonight, or...or are you
on duty?' I realised after I'd spoken how foolish I'd been to ask the
question.

     `Well, as I'm on the graveyard watch, I might get a chance to look
in.' Then I got the smile and all of a sudden, my knees went like jelly. I
couldn't explain it. One minute I'm standing there normal like, and the
next I was tongue tied.

     `Er...hope to see you later then,' was all that I could say rather
lamely before hurrying off to catch up with Diane and David. Stupid sod, I
kept saying to myself. He smiles at you and you go all gooey eyed. Snap out
of it. He's only a man. Man! That was the crux of it! A man. One who was
not unattractive and had given me a lovely smile and I was reacting like
a..., I couldn't think of the word my mind had become such a turmoil.

     As I hurried out of the saloon, I had flashes of Donald. Donald and
Rupert, and then of David with that fraught expression on his face as we
looked into his cabin, and my insides then went to jelly. I hadn't given it
much thought, but it must have been there in the back of my mind. I missed
having a man making love to me.

     My face must have been of the purest crimson as these thoughts went
through my mind and gave me a deep burning hurt to my insides. Thankfully,
it was a fair climb to the promenade deck and I was able to control myself
by the time we reached the lounge. Diane noticed though I didn't expect
David to.

     `Are you alright Francis,' she queried, `you look rather flushed?'

     `First night nerves I think,' was my reply as we went into the
dressing room and I sat down in my chair to check my make-up. I quickly
changed into the dress for our opening number and re-checked that all was
okay with my face.

     David now went through our programme for our debut on this ship and we
were quite ready when it was time for us to start our show.

     Speaking from a biased point of view, I think we went down a
treat. Our programme was for two and a half hours, but with the encores we
got, it was nigh on three. It was an exhausted trio who finally stumbled
off the stage into the dressing room. The icing on the cake was when a wine
steward, unforgivably opening the door without knocking first and then
being told to enter, for which we later forgave him, entered with a magnum
of champagne on behalf of a party of passengers on our excellent
performance.

    It was a welcome, and I think deserved, appreciation for what we had
done that evening. I crossed my fingers and hoped that every night would be
as perfect as it was that night.

     Just to jump ahead slightly, and to prevent repetition, the standard
we achieved that first night was maintained till the end of the
voyage. What I must also add is that though I didn't really care that much
for David, pushing himself too much to the fore, he could really put a show
together. To be able to mix and match us for five solid weeks and still for
the show to be as fresh at the end as it was in the beginning, took some
doing.

     It was a tired troupe, after the champagne had been drunk, that wended
their way down to their bunks that night. After hoisting myself up onto my
bunk, tried to go to sleep, but was now getting confused images in my tired
brain of Donald and that young deck officer as I slowly jerked myself off
before sleeping.

                                                           *

     Fremantle came and went, our stop there only being long enough to
embark the last of the passengers for England. Then came that haul up the
Indian Ocean towards Ceylon and for us to cross the equator again. But for
some of the passengers, it would be the first time to enter the Northern
Hemisphere of our planet. The Indus was to have a `crossing of the line'
ceremony for them as the Strathmuir would have. The day before we were due
to cross the equator, the Staff Commander paid us a visit during
rehearsals.

     `Well,' the obligatory opening to any officer's statement, `as you
know, we'll be crossing the line tomorrow.' As if it hadn't been drummed
into us all. `It has been decided that you Francis,' pointing at me, `will
be Queen Neptune to assist the bosun who you know will be King Neptune. You
Diane, will be her lady in waiting as it were. Okay? Get yourselves sorted
out as to some kind of costume to fit the occasion for three o'clock
tomorrow afternoon.' With that, he was off. I looked amazed at Diane and
she looked at me, but I didn't laugh until she started.

     `I can't,' I cried to Diane through the laughter, `I can't wear a swim
suit!'

     `Why not?' she cried, knowing what was coming.

     `My cock and balls would show!' This sent her off into a paroxysm of
coughing as well as the laughing. It took her several minutes to regain
some control of herself.

     `I'm sure...I'm sure that we...' and off she went again for another
minute, `find...find a way round that small problem!' Off she went again,
and I had to join in this time. When she finally calmed down, she explained
what we could do and it sounded like a good idea, well in theory anyway,
and I was surprised that it worked.

     We did our show for that night and in the morning, started to work on
our costumes. She got hold of some of the material that the bosun used for
his hair and costume that looked like seaweed. This was sewn onto a pair of
panties so that the bumps of my front couldn't be seen, making a skimpy
skirt similar to that of an Hawaiian girl, but of seaweed and not grass.

     Now where she got the shells from I don't know, and I forgot to ask
her afterwards. You know the type I mean. Like what you see above certain
petrol stations and also seen being used as ashtrays, but a little bit
bigger. These were made up as brassieres for us both, but I got the bigger
pair so that they covered my own chest rather tightly, but still made out
as though I had a bosom. Hers were smaller so that she could at least show
some cleavage as I couldn't.

     We decided to leave my blond hair unadorned, because it was growing at
such a rate, that it was now down to my shoulder blades and could partially
cover my shell type tits. All I would have on my head would be a small
silver crown, which was fixed into place just before we began the ceremony.

     At one end of the canvas swimming pool that had been erected, was a
dais with two gilded thrones, one being larger than the other, and a stool
placed before them, next to the edge of the pool. The other three sides of
the pool were crowded with passengers, and off to the side those whose
initiation it would be. Names had already been noted and written on the
special presentation scrolls that would be handed out later. David was the
compere and started the ball rolling at three o'clock.

     `My Lords, Ladies and Gentlemen. We are gathered here today to witness
the official confirmation of those about to be presented, as their first
ever journey from the Southern to Northern Hemisphere of this planet
Earth. As this crossing is at sea, they must seek and be granted the
permission of the Lord of the Seas, King Neptune!'

     This last being spoken in a rising voice to an almost shout as he
flung out his arm, and King Neptune walked out and went and sat on his
throne, to the clapping and cheers of the passengers. `Here he is assisted
by his wife, Queen Neptune, Queen of the Seas.' My cue to go and sit
alongside the king, also to much clapping and cheering with quite a few
wolf whistles thrown in. I had been standing in the wings, so to speak, all
in a dither.

     Would I get away with it was the main thought running through my mind?
To parade out there with just a seaweed skirt covering my male gender and
scalloped shells to hide the fact that they were empty of tits.

     With a big gulp of breath and a pat on the bum from Diane, I moved out
into the sunlight. I found that by walking on the balls of my feet, just
keeping my heels above the deck, I could get that certain sway of the hips
like a woman. So I walked out and went and sat down next to the king. I
couldn't help but smile at the response I got from all round the pool. It
was a better showing than what he had got. Well, let's face it. I was a lot
prettier than he was.

     Diane came out after me with the scrolls and handed me the first one,
which I then unrolled and passed over to the king to read out. First the
name was called, and the victim came and knelt on the stool facing us.

     `Do you Miss...(whatever her name was),' then came the spiel about
crossing of the line. When completed, she had to turn round to face the
pool and have a bucket of gunge poured over her head before being pushed
into the pool. Upon emerging to cheers and clapping, she was before us to
shake hands and receive her scroll.

     There were fourteen in all, and when the last one had been given their
certificate, David shouted out to the assembly, `Now let's hear it for King
Neptune and the Queen of the Seas!' He led the clapping which was quite
loud and long as we left the pool area.

     `You were just great!' Diane enthused as we made our way back to our
cabin. `The morons lapped it up.' And I must say, I was quite pleased with
myself as well.

     The sobriquet stuck, as I found out later that evening. David had
started it, and continued it when he announced me for my first solo of the
evening as it being sung by that "Queen of the Seas". Well the passengers
took this up and that is what I became known as for the rest of my time in
the Merchant Navy.

     There are many out there in the world of my gender that dress and play
the part of a woman. Not many really get away with it as I was doing, but
for those who did, a lot would have given a testicle, or maybe both to be
taken for and believed enough to be really called a queen. To dress as well
as act as a woman, to stand before other women and be accepted as one, to
be taken by a man and sexually treated as a woman, to take and accept the
love or sex of another man as this woman, is truly a real queen in that
world that I had put myself into, and I was proud of it.

                                                           *

     As usual, during our evening of entertaining on the stage, we took a
break and quite often, got invited to sit with some passengers whilst a
record or two played as an interval. Sometimes Diane and I were asked to
dance, or sometimes we just sat and talked to them.

     That night was no exception, but the passenger was. A wine steward, as
we finished for our break, passed me an invitation to sit at a particular
table. I went where he indicated, and a middle aged gentleman stood up and
with a small bow, held out his hand. I gave him mine to which he gave the
perfect kiss to, a brief fleeting touch of the lips before presenting
himself.

     `Count Abelaire d'Eider, mademoiselle,' and I'm almost sure I heard
his heels click together, and I gave him a small curtsey.

     `Enchante,' I replied, not giving my name for he must already have
known of it.

     `Ma'mselle speaks French?' he asked in that language.

     `Mais oui,' I replied, and it was nice to see his face light up at
this, and then he continued in that language to introduce me to his young
son and other guests at the table and invited me to sit with them. I didn't
know it then, but the young boy, his son, who made way for me to sit next
to his father would one day marry someone who in my later years became a
dear friend, Angela Downs. So there, in the middle of the Indian Ocean,
dear Angela, if you ever get to read this, I met your future husband, but
got to know his father better.

     He was delighted that I could converse with him in his own language
and told me of how he admired such a wonderful voice in so charming a
person as myself. Flatterer, but thank you Aunt Ethel, I said to myself,
for your perseverance with me in this. Champagne was served and he moved
his chair closer to mine to whisper in my ear, things he didn't want
overheard. I can't remember the words he whispered, but he was being
amorous.

     His hand came onto my knee under the table as he spoke. I twittered
words back to him as he continued to stroke my knee, gently moving his hand
ever further upwards. I put my hand down to stop him, but then he took it
firmly in his and pressed it against his groin. I felt his hardness through
his trousers and he whispered to me that I thrilled him so much that it was
hard for him to contain himself.

     `It would surprise you what I could do with this to you,' he
whispered, and then I counter attacked by grabbing his hand and putting it
to my crotch.

     `This would surprise you too!' I also whispered to him. To give him
credit, he never flinched, but just let his fingers move about to be
perfectly sure it was what he was feeling. Then he threw back his head and
laughed uproariously.

     `Hoisted by my own petard!' he cried to the others seated at the
table. I thought for a horrible moment that he was going to denounce me,
but before I could even blush, his hand came away and he hugged me close to
him.

     `I have found my conqueror!' he pulled up my hand and kissed it, and
then exclaimed to the table. `I have been beaten at my own game!
Mademoiselle, I salute you! The veritable siren and Queen of the Seas!' and
he raised his glass and gave me a big kiss on the cheek, then took a hefty
gulp at his champagne. The others, perplexed, still raised their glasses
and drank their sips.

     `Oh my dear one,' he whispered into my ear, `how long I have waited
for one such as you. Please, I beg of you, please come to me tonight.' I
didn't know what to say to that. Being able to put my hand on a piece of
flesh that I caused to become hard, even though it was under wraps so to
speak, thrilled me. Something I hadn't felt for quite awhile, not in my
hand or inside me, and with a sudden burning desire, wanted that hard lump
of flesh to scratch the itch deep within me.

     `I'll come,' was all I could stammer.

     `Bon! After the show. I'll wait for you.'

     So the show went on and when it was all over, I realised that I was
trembling and afraid. This was to a first time with a passenger. Yes, it
was alright for us to fraternise during the evening, but not, I think, to
take on extraneous duties with them outside of working hours.

     `Ah, the Queen of the Seas and her delightful consort,' the Count
greeted us as we finished for the evening. He had stopped at the edge of
the stage. `May I invite both of you and your male companion, to a small
soiree in my suite.'

     Without waiting for an answer, he moved off, and we, like sheep,
followed him. We went up to the next deck where the staterooms were, and
went into the most expensive of them all. Drinks were served and it became
apparent, to me at least, that we were being paired off, and it wasn't too
long before I realised that there were only the Count and myself, Diane and
another young man whose name I hadn't caught. I didn't see the departure of
David, or with whom he'd gone out with. Diane nudged me and said that I
shouldn't wait up for her, a wicked little smile on her face.

     That left just the Count and myself alone, and it didn't take long for
him to make his move. He drew me into the bedroom, a sumptuous palace
compared to what I shared with Diane, and taking my hands, turned me to
face him.

     Before I knew it, he was down on his knees with his head up under my
dress. I felt his hands pull down the sides of my panties and his mouth
sought and found my cock, which he quickly took into his mouth to suck
upon. I could see his head movements under my dress and feel his mouth and
tongue lick and suck on me. I grabbed the bobbing bulge underneath my
clothing and held it tight and literally fucked him in the mouth, coming in
swift sharp thrusts of my hips.

     He took it all and still kept on sucking till I was dry, and then with
a little bit of kissing, withdrew himself from below and stood up, licking
his lips.

     `Beautiful,' he said, putting his hands on my shoulders and slipping
off the straps to make my dress fall down around my feet. With my panties
half off my hips already, he pushed them further down till I automatically
lifted each foot in turn for him to pull them free.

     He quickly divested himself of his own clothing while I stood there
watching till he was completely naked, and with a nice erection jutting
out, pushed me towards the bed. In spite of his age, his body was quite
slim and so that made his cock seem larger than it was.

     `From the front or rear,' I asked with some trepidation, inwardly
trembling from either fear or excitement, of which, I knew not. But I knew
I was going to get that swaying bar of flesh one way or the other and I had
this burning desire to have it pushed into me as hard as he would be able
to.

     He looked me up and down, my small white young body, with the false
padded bra, suspender belt holding up my black stockings and the
incongruous half erection sticking out from between my thighs.

     `Turn around,' he said, his voice thick and hoarse, and I heard him
spit and guessed that was his idea of lubrication. I bent over and placed
my hands flat on the bed as he moved up closer behind me, feeling his
erection gently touch the object of his desire.

     Then without warning, he pushed and his cock entered me, pushing in
and in till his body torso met mine. The entry was harsh, and I felt every
inch of him as he pushed himself inside me. As his cock head had entered,
it pained as he stretched me until it was inside, and then it was a smooth
slide, just gently scratching me the whole way till he filled me. I had to
gasp at the sudden intrusion, but I revelled in the way that it soothed and
excited the burning desire within me.

     With his hands on my hips, he fucked me good and proper. In and out
slid his tool, rasping me as he went forward and then smoothing me out as
he pulled back. Without cream, it was a harsher fuck, but it was most
satisfying, and more so as he built up his own pressure. He hammered hard
at me, gasping as much as I was. Him from the effort and me from the desire
for more, until he rammed our bodies up tight together and held me hard as
he pumped out his sperm into me.

     I drooled because it had been quite some time since I'd had a cock
swell and throb inside me as it poured out its fluid. I squeezed my muscle
with as much strength as I could to get the most feeling out of this
passing moment in time.

     Then too soon, he was pulling out from me. I cried out, trying to hold
him there, but he was out and I was bereft. The air, a little chilling to
my opened hole. I then lay on the bed as he washed himself before joining
me on the bed.

     He whispered sweet things to me as he played with my penis, getting it
to rise again which he avidly sucked upon again till I came, crying out as
he sucked it all out of me. Then he was erect, and for a man of his age,
amazing. He penetrated me again, on the bed this time with me lying full
length and all his weight on me as we fucked.

     It was beautiful to be reamed like that after so long and I was rather
sore arsed as I staggered back to my cabin with a resolve to carry a tube
of cream in my handbag at all times in future. I was there before Diane,
and had the cabin to myself for a while to think of the man who'd just
fucked me, and then think of Donald. Was this a betrayal of our love? Or
would he still love me if he knew? I was so overcome with doubt, that I
cried myself to sleep and never heard Diane come in from her affair.

     Twice more during the trip home I went to the Count's suite, and we
had a more sedate coming together, me not being so sore arsed and him
getting his rocks off as well as mine. It became a game and we both
thoroughly enjoyed ourselves.

                                                           *

     But again, I've jumped ahead of myself. It was another day to Ceylon,
or what is now Sri Lanka, and our stop at Colombo, the capital at the south
end of the island. Here, the Staff Commander insisted that we went ashore
with the passengers sightseeing, as he had the idea that in the future, we
would be acting as guides on some of the sightseeing tours in the future.

     Colombo was a fascinating place then, but as the years have gone by,
so has the magic slowly disappeared from all these wonderful Asian
countries and their cities. Progress! Sri Lanka is still a lovely place to
visit for a holiday, but it is now as money grubbing as anywhere else, with
the big hotel groups taking over small villages and beaches and turning
them into tourist traps. Before, the villagers would welcome you in
friendship and goodwill. Now they greet you with a welcome but are
assessing you to see how much money they can swindle you out of.

     I still remember the dilapidated bus that took us through the dusty
city over rutted and potholed roads, missing by inches the swarming natives
and their carts. Then suddenly, you are out of the city and on a twisty
winding road that took us through tea plantations and forests and up into
the hills where the cool breezes were a blessing. No air conditioned
coaches in them days.

     Then to arrive at Mount Lavinia overlooking miles and miles of green
foliage to the incredible blue seas beyond. Here was a small village with
one hotel that was reckoned as the best in South Asia, with the possible
exception of Raffles in Singapore, but the setting was better. Here, the
passengers had lunch and drinks with some even doing some swimming in the
hotel pool before buying various souvenirs and knick-knacks to take back
with them.

     We remonstrated with the Staff Commander on our return, that even
though we were not due to sail till the early hours of the morning, it was
too much to expect us to be fit enough to put on a full evening's
entertainment after spending all day traipsing around with the
passengers. So that was one idea for the future that we got squashed, but
we still managed to give a somewhat curtailed performance that evening.

                                                           *

     Not only was Count d'Eider pursuing me, I had also collected another
suitor, who was none other than my nice Fourth Officer. Only on this ship,
he was now the Third Officer. Whenever he saw me, he would smile and wink
at me, and because of this covert display I was receiving, I had to find
out for myself who he was. His name was Clement Fairweather, son of Sir
Reginald Fairweather, a substantial shareholder of our very own shipping
line, but that was about all I could find out with my limited resources
aboard ship.

     It was while we were in the Red Sea that we finally came together. I'd
been monopolised by the Count for most of the time since Ceylon. But on
this particular evening, on our break, such as it was, and my Third Officer
had asked me for a dance.

     He was a very good dancer and literally kept me on my toes with his
fast movements. It was during that first dance that he professed his love
for me, and it was only because we were moving quite fast in a foxtrot that
I could move away to ask him to explain himself. When we closed together
again towards the end of the dance, his body pressed close to mine so that
I could feel his erection beneath his uniform.

     I tried to break away at the end of the dance, but he held me firm and
said that he had to talk to me. With fast talking, he managed to steer me
out onto the boat deck, where we finished up beneath one of the lifeboat's
davits.

     `Gervaise,' he said, holding me tight, astounding me by the use of my
middle name. `Gervaise,' he said again, `listen to what I have to say, but
first, let me kiss you.' Such was my astonishment at his use of my name
that I didn't offer any resistance to his kiss.

     I think it must be the dream of most girls to be courted at sea, on
deck, under a shining moon, to be kissed by a handsome young officer. It
was one of mine and it was coming true, but it was the use of my middle
name that caused me concern. All sorts of thoughts raced through my mind
but just seemed to dissolve under that kiss. It was so sweet and heartfelt
that I felt my knees start to give way under the touch of his lips on mine.

     He held me close as we kissed, our bodies close up tight. So tight
that I could feel his hardness straining itself against the restraint of
his clothing. He kissed my lips, throat, neck and shoulders, whispering
words of love that I couldn't respond to at that moment in time.

     `No we cannot,' I said breathlessly as I finally managed to break away
from his kisses.

     `Why not? I know what's under this dress Gervaise. I have known for a
long time, and the more I see of you, the more I want you. You grow more
beautiful and desirable every day and I cannot wait any longer to tell you
that we are both the same, that we both prefer men. Let me be your man,
your lover.' This was all be said between the kisses he kept giving me,
which I liked receiving.

     `How did you know my name was Gervaise?' I finally managed to ask.

     `On my last leave, an old friend of my father's dined with us one
evening. The conversation got round to the Training School at Gravesend
where this friend worked. He was one of the training officers in the
catering department. He told us of this pretty boy who, without prompting,
could lay out a full service of silver complete with glasses, and name each
piece and what every glass was used for. He then gave to the boy a menu
that was written in French and was asked if he could read it. The boy had
nodded and then gave out each course in English and then read it out again
in flawless French. The boy's name was Francis Gervaise Lyon.'

     I remembered the incident quite well and felt proud of the compliment
I had been given. It had earned me top marks.

     `I casually asked,' Clement continued, `if this boy had been allocated
a ship yet. I was told that this would only done at the end of the
course. I turned to my father, who has quite a few shares in the company,
and asked if he could pull a few strings and see that the boy was allocated
to my ship, the Strathmuir, where I could keep an eye out for him. He
didn't think it would be any problem and that's how you came to that ship.

     I was due for promotion after that voyage and jumped at the chance
when the Third Officer of this ship fell ill in Melbourne. I also heard
that the cabaret people were to be sacked, so I immediately cabled my
father in London. He then arranged for the three of you be transferred to
the Indus instead of recruiting anyone locally in so short a time.'

     I listened to this tale in amazement, my eyes wide that somebody could
be manipulated in this way.

     `You shouldn't have done that,' I said indignantly, `it's not
right. It's...it's just not done,' I finished lamely, but then flared up
again. `I suppose you fixed it for me to become part of the entertaining
team as well?'

     `Gervaise, Gervaise. That you earned on your own merit. I had nothing
to do with you getting that job, I promise. When I saw you audition for the
Staff, I fell in love with you there and then. I wanted to be with you, to
hold and kiss you as I'm doing now, and...and make love to you.'

     It was the last four words that melted me. If he had said, `to fuck
you,' I would have left him there and then at the ship's rail, but he'd
found the right words, so I leaned into him, pressing my body tight to his
own and kissed him.

     `Yes,' was the only word I said.

     He met me outside the lounge after the show and led me to his
cabin. We had to move carefully so as not to be seen by any of the other
officers, and were soon inside. His was a small cabin, but it was a single
bunk instead of the usual two tiered things. He quickly explained that he
was on watch at midnight, but would be back at four a.m. I looked at the
wall clock he had above his small cluttered desk and it read eleven
fifteen, so we had little over half an hour, but it would be enough.

     He slipped the straps of my dress from my shoulders and I let it fall
to the floor as he knelt and pulled my panties down and took me into his
mouth. He was hot, but not very knowledgeable in this department, so I
pulled him up and helped him undress. I held his naked body against my
scantily clad one, our penises squashed between us as we kissed before
climbing onto his bunk.

     `Make love to me,' I whispered, raising my rear end up. I felt him
fumbling around behind me, and then the cool cream being used before he
started. Then the head of his erection pressed against me and I relaxed and
let him slide into me. The warmth in my belly became a red hot glow as he
fully entered, filling me with his strong rod. Then his hands came onto my
hips as he started to ride me.

     It was wonderful the way my insides contracted and expanded as he
moved in and out, pushing heat into me with every thrust. He moved faster
and faster, pumping away, till with a strangled cry, he jerked
spasmodically as he came. I gripped tight as he gently laid himself on my
back and I slowly sank down onto the bed covers, holding him inside me. I
rhythmically squeezed his tool with my sphincter muscle, making him groan
with delight, and he responded by moving slowly backwards and forwards on
my back. My own cock, being moved against the rough blanket, swelled and I
came in a sticky mess upon it.

     `I must go my sweet. It's nearly time for my watch,' he whispered in
my ear, `but stay here till I get back.' He lifted his weight up and I felt
him slide out, making me give out my usual groan as he did so. I watched as
he washed himself and get dressed for duty before he came back over to
me. He pulled the blanket from under me and covered me up as I lay there,
and he gave me a kiss and told me to sleep for awhile. I smiled as he left,
turning off the light and closing the door. I snuggled down in his bunk,
smelling him on the pillow, and with a warm glow inside me and a smile on
my face, fell asleep.

     He woke me with a kiss and I moved over as his cool body slid under
the covers next to mine. We lay for a while in each other's arms, kissing
and stroking each other and I could feel his erection grow between our
bodies. I pushed him onto his back, and starting with his face, kissed my
way down his body. I held his shaft upright as I kissed and nibbled from
the base to the top and back down again. Then with my tongue, licked him up
and down as a dog would do before taking the head of his now really
throbbing cock into my mouth. He groaned as I squeezed and sucked it, my
teeth gently holding just below the head. My hand held the soft skin of his
shaft, moving it up and down, feeling the hard muscle underneath slide
easily within this sheath. I gently teased and squeezed as I slowly jerked
him off until his hands found my head to hold as he started to pump his
hips upwards. I held him firmly in my hand as I felt him start to swell and
I could feel his sperm rise up through his shaft before it blew from the
top into the back of my throat. I held it there as he added to it with
every pump until I was forced to swallow it before the pressure forced it
out from between my lips and his cock head. He gave out a heavy sigh as he
stopped moving and allowed me then to finish sucking him off and tongue
away the last few remaining drops. Then I moved back up into his arms again
where he gave me an uncountable number of kisses all over my face.

     It was nearly five thirty in the morning before, with a few last
kisses, left his bunk and got dressed. I had lain there with all my
underwear on except for the panties, so I was quickly dressed, and with a
last kiss, crept quietly out of his cabin. Very few people are about at
that time of the morning, so I made it back to my cabin without being
observed. I undressed in the dark, quietly, so as not to wake Diane, and
swung myself up to the top bunk and gently lowered myself down so as not to
shake the framework.

     I had just settled myself down when the door opened and shut very
quickly and quietly, but it was enough time for me to see that it was Diane
who'd just crept into the cabin, and there was I, thinking that she was
already in her bunk. I heard the slight rustle of her clothes as she
undressed in the dark, the same as I had done only a few minutes
previously. I leaned up on an elbow and startled her.

     `Dirty stop out,' I said in a low voice, `what would your mother say?'
with a chuckle in my tone.

     `You made me jump,' she whispered back. `I thought you were asleep.'

     `Well, where have you been?' I whispered again, `or should I ask with
whom have you been?'

     `Ooooh, he was drop dead gorgeous,' she replied as she leaned her arms
on my bunk, her face only inches from mine. I could see the glitter and
sparkle in her eyes. `It was delicious,' her eyes rolled and her tongue
swept across her lips, `and big!'

     `Enough for two?' I queried.

     `Certainly not! I saw him first. Find your own.'

     `I think I have,' I answered, laying back down, a smile on my face as
I remembered that thick cock inside me.

     `Who?' Diane demanded. `Tell me!'

     `Shan't. Now get into bed, it must be nearly six already.'

  She grumbled at not being told whom I'd been with, but she got into her
bunk and I then went to sleep.

                                                           *

      It was gone nine before I suddenly woke up and swung myself down to
the deck, feeling great as though I'd had a full night's sleep.

     `Wake up, it's late,' I said to Diane, pulling the sheet off her. Like
me, she slept naked, and I must admit that seeing her in that sleepy state,
hair awry, her breasts slowly moving up and down and her legs wide apart,
did cause some stirrings in me. I was tempted to fondle those breasts, but
resisted, and went and washed myself at our little basin.

     She was up when I'd finished and our bodies touched as we squeezed
past each other in that small space that we had. Her breasts brushing
against my chest and my penis smacking her thighs, but as we were now used
to seeing each other naked, there never was any comment made about bodies
making this often contact.

     We were too late for any breakfast by the time we had made ourselves
up and had gotten dressed, but it was always easy to wheedle some food from
one of the cooks in the galley, so we didn't mind.

     It was a good thing we could too, for we would spend an hour or so in
the mornings rehearsing for that night's show. Then some afternoon's we
would have to act as hostesses for a child's party or all of them. Or we
mixed with the passengers, talking to them or acting as some agony aunt,
listening to their tales of woe etc. Then we would do our show in the
evening for about three hours, but overall, it was a pretty cushy job, and
we could always slope off to catch up on any missed sleep.

     It had been a brief stop at Aden before entering the Red Sea where I
had my first tryst with Clement, before arriving at Suez and entering the
Canal and Port Said. As I have just said, I went once with Clement, but
also the Count during this hop, and I had them both once more between Port
Said and Tilbury. I think Diane had two other men also during this
voyage. Who, or how many men David went through, or should I say, through
him, I didn't find out, or more to the point, wasn't interested.

     The transit through the Bay of Biscay, three days out from London, was
quite rough, as was to be expected in that unpredictable stretch of
water. It was here that the Staff Commander came and spoke to us. He told
us that everybody was pleased with our shows and they would like us to sign
on for the next voyage, which later, the three of us discussing it, said we
would.

     It was that night, and I was in Clement's bunk, after we'd had sex,
his wonderful tool ploughing fresh furrows in my field, I told him that we
would be doing the next voyage. He was delighted and hugged and kissed me
as we lay together.

     `How did you come by the name Clement?' I asked him.

     `My father's sense of humour,' he chuckled. `With the surname of
Fairweather, what else could he choose. It's done me no harm. It's a name
that will stick in people's minds and it will help me to go higher in this
life.'

     `How high's that?'

     `Captain of my own ship, and hopefully, Commodore of the Fleet, and
you?' he asked, his face close to mine on the pillow, our breath's
mingling.

     `I don't really know. I haven't given it much thought. I'm still only
fifteen and I am enjoying what I am doing now. I love getting up and
singing in front of an audience, and the dancing too.'

     `I like the way the passengers and even the crew refer to you as the
Queen of the Seas. They don't know the half of it,' he chuckled.

     The reason for this being, that when a homosexual dresses up as a
female, in drag they call it, they are often referred to as a queen. So to
have the epithet of Queen of the Seas, was really a joke that not many
people were a party to. I soon learned in the navy that there were many
names I could be called. Faggot, queer, rent-boy, bum boy, cock sucker and
many others, but I didn't mind because some of them were true. I did like
having a male erection pushed inside me and I also liked to suck on a cock
and swallow what came out.

     Even more, I liked dressing as a woman and to be treated as
such. That's how I've always been, except for that short period of the
training school and the half voyage to Australia, when I had to be a boy. I
honestly felt in my heart that I was a girl, and in spite of having male
genitalia, would remain as a female and have sex the way I liked.

     The three of us, Diane, David and myself were in our dressing room
getting ready for our last show of the voyage. We were due to dock in
Tilbury at about ten the next morning, and the talk was about our next
trip. David said that we would have to start by using our old material as
we wouldn't have the time to do rehearsals together before leaving, when an
idea hit me.

     `How much leave are we due before we should report back to the ship,'
I asked them.

     `Fifteen days,' David said, `I've already checked.'

     `What will you do with your leave?'

     `Well I'll crash out at a friend's place and go to some revue's for
any new ideas that we could use. Other than that, I'll just cruise around.'
To cruise around in his sense, was to go places where he was likely to be
picked up by another fellow for the purpose of sex.

     `I'll go to my parent's place up North,' Diane said. `Bloody boring. I
couldn't wait to get away from it in the first place.'

     `Well,' I had started, falling into their habit in the way of starting
a sentence. `Well,' I started again, a pang hitting me in the heart, `since
both my aunts have died while I've been away,' tears came and ran down my
face as I spoke. `I've only got an empty house to go back to.'

     I didn't mention that Donald would be there, and wiping away my tears,
continued. `It's really two cottages that have been knocked into one, and
there's one room which had been my classroom that would be a perfect place
for us to rehearse in. There's plenty of room for that, a piano, music and
records and it has three bedrooms. If you wanted to, you could both come
down for the last few days of our leave and we could then join the ship
from there. What do you think?'

     `Terrific idea,' Diane said immediately, `what do you say David?' He
hummed and harred for a moment, but eventually agreed that it was indeed a
good idea. I went on to say that they could get in touch with each other
when they wanted to come down for me to meet them at Trowbridge station. At
the same time I would fix up transport to pick us up to bring them to my
house.

     `What about us lugging all our costumes back and forth across the
country?' David asked.

     `I'll take them home with me. That way you don't have to. Just take
what clothes you need for your leave, and leave the rest to me. Just like
the old song.' So with this settled, we finished doing our make-up and did
our last show of the voyage.

     It was a lovely finale. The passengers wore paper hats and lots of
streamers were thrown about, making a pretty mess of the lounge. We must
have had an encore for nearly every number we did, because it must have
been after one in the morning before Auld Lang Syne was sung. We used a
record for this so that we could be among the passengers, joining hands
with them as we sung.

     There were lots of hugs and kisses, and when the Count kissed me
goodbye, he kissed my hand and then pressed an envelope into it and wished
me luck for a happy future and said that he would carry away very fond
memories of the Queen of the Seas and the pleasure she had given him. I had
tears in my eyes at all the kissing and handshakes that we got as farewells
were said, so it was about two a.m. before we got back to our dressing
room.

     It wasn't until I'd taken off my make-up that I picked up the envelope
that the Count had given me. I opened it and quickly closed the flap
again. It was full of money! I lifted up the hem of my dress and slipped it
into my stocking top, my heart beating fast. Why had he given me that much
money? I hastily got my few things together and fled to my cabin. I wanted
to be on my own for a bit without Diane being there.

     Once safely inside with the door shut, I pulled out the envelope and
took the money out. With it was a little note.

     "Please do not be offended by the contents of this envelope. There are
many ways for a gentleman to say thank you for making my voyage such a
pleasure. I could have bought you a necklace or pendant, but I thought that
this would be more practicable than any bauble. Think of me kindly if ever
you do recall this voyage, for I can assure you that you will always be in
my heart as the Queen of the Seas. Affectionately, Count Abelaire d'Eider."

     Silly old fool, I said to myself. Of course I will remember you,
especially when you managed to keep a straight face when I put your hand up
my dress. I counted the notes and found that he had given me three hundred
pounds. A small fortune when you consider that it was nearly a fully grown
man's yearly wage at that time. The money and note were safely tucked away
and I was in bed when Diane came in a short while later.

     `You didn't stop for a drink,' she said when she arrived in.

     `No. I was feeling rather tired and upset with all the farewells and
just wanted to get to bed.' Diane got undressed, and after putting out the
light, got into her bunk after giving me a peck on the cheek and saying
goodnight.

                                                           *

     We were actually docking when we woke up and got out of our bunks. Our
cabin was on the port side of the ship, (that's the left hand side as you
look towards the front for you landlubbers), so all we could see was the
other side of the docks and a tug boat just below our porthole nudging the
ship to its berth. By the time we had showered and got dressed and put on
our make-up, I was good at doing this myself now, the passengers had
already started to disembark.

     Up on the lounge deck, we watched for a few minutes, the steady stream
going down the gangway before we went to the dressing room to pack up our
things. David, hearing of others past experience said, you couldn't leave
anything behind because it would most likely not be there when you
returned.

     With the trunks packed, three of them, I left David to see about
getting them to the quay whilst I went to see about getting a taxi to take
me and the trunks away. Diane said that she would get my suitcase, which
was already packed, and meet me in the dining saloon where all the members
of the crew were starting to get signed off the ship and collect their
wages.

     I scouted around the queue of taxis that were waiting for either crew
or passengers to take them to the station. With the Count's money in my
bag, I decided to be bold, and I looked for someone who would look the most
likely to take me the whole way home. There was a young man sitting in one
of the cars and I asked him how much would he charge for this trip. As they
all only expected to do up to the most, three journeys to the station and
back, I looked a good prospect. He thought for a moment. `That would take
all day and half the night for me to get there and back,' he mused. `Shall
we say twenty pounds?'

     `Done,' I said.

     `I might just have been,' he said with a rueful smile. I got him to
drive me to where David had got the trunks on the quayside, and asked him
to load them while I signed off. I went back on board and joined the queue
to do this. Every member of the crew signs on when joining a ship and then
has to sign off at the end of the voyage. Your seaman's book has already
been stamped with the ship's name and the dates of joining and leaving, as
well as a remark as to your conduct during the voyage. Then you collect
your wages and are free to leave the ship until your leave is up, if you
are re-signing on that is.

     So with the pitiful amount that I was paid, I thanked the Lord for the
money the Count had given me. I said my goodbyes to Diane and David,
telling them not to forget to phone when they wanted collecting from
Trowbridge station. I had given them Donald's telephone number as I was
hoping to spend most of my time there anyway. Besides, his was the only
house that had a telephone in our village, except for the shop and pub.

     So with my suitcase in my hand, I went down the gangway, taking care
with my high heels, to where the taxi was waiting. He had somehow, managed
to get all three trunks in the car with just enough room for my suitcase,
leaving us just the front two seats.

     `What's your name?' I asked the driver.

     `Eddie. Eddie Bullock,'

     `Mine's Francis,' I said sitting down in the seat next to him and
offered him my hand, which he shook. I had given him the name of my village
and he had a rough idea of where it was after looking at a tattered school
atlas of England.

     As we drove up to London, I asked if he didn't mind if we stopped for
a little while as I had a few things to buy. Not too long was the answer,
so I got him to stop in Regent's Street at a lovely looking dress shop.

     `Look. Let's make it about an hour,' I said. `Here's a pound. Go and
get some lunch somewhere and pick me up again in one hour.'

     `Okay,' Eddie said, taking the money, and off he drove, leaving me on
the pavement looking into the window of this elegant looking shop. It took
me the whole hour, but I bought myself a lovely black dress, a hat and
veil, new shoes, high heeled of course, and some new lingerie. The shop
assistant positively fawned over me as not many women walked in off the
street to buy a completely new outfit in those austere times.

     With my purchases somehow also squeezed into Eddie's car, we set off
again, only for me to tell him to stop when he saw a florist's shop. He
tried to give me the change from the pound that I'd given him, but I said
that he could keep it.

     We duly stopped at a florist shop and I bought three bouquets that I
would need for the cemetery the following day. Then we were off again,
heading for home. It was around Andover that my stomach started rumbling
and he heard it quite plainly.

     `Have you eaten anything today?' Eddie asked. I had to admit that I
hadn't. I'd been too excited with being back in England, the prospect of
getting home and seeing Donald, that I hadn't given any thought to my
stomach.

     Eddie stopped at a fish and chip shop and was back in a trice with a
newspaper bundle that gave out a smell that made my mouth instantly
water. I'd also given him a pound to buy some tonic waters as well. He sat
down in the driving seat and unwrapped this parcel of food to reveal a
large piece of battered fish and a mound of chips. I could see and feel the
heat of them as they were revealed. It was the first time that I'd had such
a meal and it was delicious. Using my fingers to break off bits of fish and
then eating some chips, licking my fingers each time. He'd also bought a
bottle of lemonade which we shared as well as the contents of the
newspaper.

     I burped after we had finished and both of us laughed at the
unladylike sound that it was. He rolled up the empty wrapping and casually
dropped it out of the window, and off we went again.

     Somewhere around Salisbury, we took the wrong road and got lost. It
took time, but we eventually found ourselves going in the right direction,
and it was dark and quite late by the time we approached my village. I had
been thinking in the car of how much I had wanted to see Donald, but now,
seeing the darkened houses, and how late it was, and that it might be
better if I spent my first night at home alone, thinking of my aunts who
were no longer there. So as we turned into the lane, I asked Eddie to just
coast down to the bottom to my place without lights.

     He did as I asked and the car silently rode down the lane until I
pointed out my gate and there he stopped. I asked him to bring my things up
to the house, but to keep quiet as I didn't want to disturb anyone, meaning
Donald. I carried my purchases from London as well as my suitcase, leaving
Eddie to manage the trunks.

     I walked up the path, my heart pounding, fully expecting my aunts to
be there waiting for me. I opened the door to darkness, sadness and
disappointment. I didn't turn on any lights because, even though Donald's
house was also dark, he might see the light and come over. Much as I wanted
him to, I was resolved to be alone on this first night.

     I pulled the curtains to in the parlour. My aunt had run them up on
her machine when we had to have blackout, and she had used a heavy material
that suited the parlour but also served the same purpose. The fire place
had been laid with fresh kindling, so I put a match to it as Eddie
struggled up the path with the last of the trunks. When that was inside, I
turned on a small table lamp that made the room look cosy enough with the
fire light now casting its flame as well.

     I made him sit down in the arm chair and I got a bottle of gin out of
my suitcase, duty free, and made us both a drink with the tonic water
added. He protested, though not too much, about having to drive all the way
back to Tilbury, and that he shouldn't really drink and drive. One wouldn't
hurt I told him as I handed him a glass and with mine stood by the fire to
let the heat warm the backs of my legs.

     I then turned and took my handbag off the mantel piece and took out
the twenty pounds and passed it across to him, which he put in his shirt
pocket without counting it. I then continued to stand before the fire as we
both sipped at our drinks and he suddenly spoke.

     `You have beautiful legs Miss Francis,' he said, looking at them. I
suddenly realised that the light from the fire was making a silhouette of
them through my dress. Then a wicked though came into my mind.

     `Do you really think so?' I asked turning slowly round in a circle.

     `Yes I do.'

     `Yours look quite sturdy too,' I said, moving towards him. `I might
have paid for the trip, but for the extra time spent with me, I think you
deserve a bonus,' and I went down onto my knees and moved his legs apart so
that I could get in between them. He started to protest, but I shusshed him
as I undid all the flies to his trousers.

     `Are you hung like a bullock as well?' I asked as I put my hand inside
his trousers and over his underpants. With one hand pulling the pants down,
the other pulled his rising cock out into the light, and I also eased his
balls out too. They were nice and heavy in my palm and his cock was rising
up all the time until I held the solid shaft, throbbing and giving off an
incredible heat.

     `Your surname fits the description,' I said, giving his balls a little
bounce in my hand. I could see that his face was red and I looked into his
eyes as I lowered my open mouth down onto him. As I took in that red hot
head, his other head went back and his eyes closed as he gave out a sigh. I
jerked at his shaft, tonguing and sucking, feeling his heat and the throb
of the blood racing round his penis. It was only a matter of minutes before
his body started to stiffen. His glass had been put on the side table and
his hands now gripped the arms of the chair as his balls boiled up to a
fever pitch and released his spunk. Shooting up with quite some
considerable force into my throat. I sucked and sucked till he was dry and
his body had relaxed back into the chair.

     He had tasted good and had had quite a volume of fertiliser inside
him. I finally released him and gently tucked his wilting penis back into
his pants, but left him to button up his own fly. He was still blushing as
he did so. He then gulped down the rest of his drink as I stood up and
reached for mine.

     `Now you can tell the boys back home that you've been blown by the
Queen of the Seas. That's the name they've given me on the ship. Whether
they believe you or not, I'm sure you will remember today.' He stammered
his thanks and putting down his empty glass, rose up from the chair.

     `Eddie?' I said, putting one hand on his shoulder, `do you think you
could pick me up when my leave is finished and take me back to
Tilbury. Same terms, and,' I paused and gave his cheek a stroke as I
smiled, `maybe another bonus.'

     `Sure thing Miss Francis,' he replied with a grin, taking my hand and
kissing it, before adjusting his trousers, `it would give me great
pleasure.'

     He gave me a telephone number of where he lived with his parents, and
I gave him an approximate date that I would be needing him. I saw him to
the door and begged him to be as quiet as he could when starting the car
and not put on the lights until he'd turned out from the lane. On an
impulse, I gave him a quick kiss on the lips and wished him a safe journey
home.

     I went through to the classroom and watched him do as I had asked. I
didn't hear the engine start or any noise as he turned the car around and
drove up the lane still with the lights off. Then I turned slowly and
walked round the room, touching the piano where my aunt had played so many
times, stroking the closed lid, smooth as glass from so much polish that
had been applied with love.

     I wandered round the rest of the house, pausing in each bedroom,
thinking of the aunt that had slept there, each room with its own lingering
scent that they had last used. In my own room, I slowly undressed and got
into bed. Lying there in the dark and empty house, I thought of my aunts
and Donald, and then I finally cried myself to sleep.

                                                           *

                                             To be continued.

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