Date: Wed, 2 Mar 2022 16:52:08 +0000 (UTC) From: Lacey Femme Subject: Free Haircuts, Chapter 8 [Please read the disclaimer in chapter 1 if you haven't already. Since you've come this far, please consider sending me your comments at laceyfemme@yahoo.com, or making a donation to Nifty at https://donate.nifty.org/ .] It was getting late and definitely time to go. I didn't see Rosie, and guessed she was working with Mr. Thompson developing the film. So I cleaned off my face, changed back into boy clothes on my own and rode my bike back home. When I got there it was around 5:45. My dad was home from work already and my mom said she had started to worry about me. I told her I had been hanging around the park a little after the summer program had finished, and that it wouldn't happen again. Mom and I were cleaning up after dinner later that evening, as usual. "Timmy, you're wearing nail polish. And maybe some eye shadow, too?" "Um, yeah--this girl and I were playing earlier today, and she thought it would be fun to have me try wearing makeup and stuff. So I did." My clit started getting hard in my pants, but I was holding dirty dishes in front of me so I doubt my mom noticed. "That's nice. You like her?" "Yeah, we sit and talk a lot. She has a camera and likes taking pictures." "Well, you're getting to an age where you might start getting curious about girls. You can always talk with me about it when you want to. And we'll want to have a conversation with your dad about the facts of life before you get much older." Um, we probably should, mom. But that was as far as we got on the subject that evening. **** Rosie was still working on laying out the magazine when I came in Thursday morning, and she asked if I could get ready for the glory hole by myself. So I picked out a red outfit like the one Andrea had been wearing, and did the best I could with the makeup. It was a reasonable job, certainly good enough for the glory hole. It still excited me to be wearing makeup, and I think it helped the men know how much I really liked sucking their cocks. It was a pretty good morning after that, and I serviced eight cocks before taking my break. Two were really big. Rosie saw me and wanted to talk. "Sorry to be busy earlier. You did a good job getting ready and look nice." "I just tried to imitate what Andrea was wearing." "She told me you two had a good time together. You agree?" "Yeah, she explained to me how good it felt to get fucked, and then she showed me. We sucked each other off, too, and now I understand better how great that feels and why men like it so much. And then there was all this, um, mushy stuff we did, kissing and hugging and just laying down together side by side and talking. That confused me at first, but I think I understand now it was mostly just something to do while Andrea was waiting for her clit to get hard again." "And it was different to be together with Andrea just by ourselves, without collecting any money from men or having you taking pictures." "Tina, we don't need to rush things. This was your first time, and I don't know that you would have, um, opened up so completely if you and Andrea had been in front of an audience. And she's just starting to think about modeling at this point in her life, too. I just wanted both of you to be comfortable, not to have anything else to worry about." "I guess it makes sense. I'm glad you planned out how I should start getting fucked so carefully." Rosie smiled and bit her lip. "I know you mean that in a good way. You don't actually mind the mushy stuff, do you?" "It seems funny that it's mostly just pretend. That's why you made me up like Andrea's little sister." "But it still feels good, doesn't it? And would it honestly be so bad if Andrea really liked you and cared about you as a person?" "Um, that might be a little uncomfortable." "What??" Rosie sat up straight and acted like I had just said the magic word. I suddenly realized that I really had said the magic word, even without meaning to. And I started figuring out what it was I had been having so much trouble understanding since being with Andrea. "Yes. Everyone always says I should tell them right away if anything I do here makes me uncomfortable. And having someone really like me and care about me as a person would just make me, well, uncomfortable." "Why?" "I'm still much more of a kid than a real person. My parents, teachers, even you and Mr. Thompson like me and care about me as a kid, but that's different than caring about me 'as a person.' I don't even know exactly what that means, but I think it has something to do with being ready to fall in love with someone. And an adult man or older teen shouldn't be feeling that way about somebody my age. It would be weird and strange, kind of, um"--I searched for the word--"perverted." "And I wouldn't know how to care back for him 'as a person' in the same way, even if he did. It's just stupid when kids my age pretend to go steady. Heck, I can't even make cum yet. Asking me to care about someone 'as a person' would be like asking me to start eleventh grade next month." "The other word you sometimes use to describe people fucking and sucking is 'playing.' I know what that means. It means just having fun. And I play with other kids all the time and sometimes with grown ups too, like playing catch together or miniature golf. And it should be just like that when I suck a man's cock. It's fine for both of us that way." Rosie was silent for a moment. "Just so I'm clear, you mean that you might not want to suck someone's cock and let him fuck you, if you thought that he might really like you and care about you as a person?" "No, I don't think it's right for an adult man to be thinking about me that way, even if I suck his cock. Especially if I suck his cock. It could get really weird and complicated." Rosie seemed to be thinking. "OK. Well, at least you're getting fucked now. Thank goodness for that." "But please try to remember your first time with Andrea, even the mushy stuff. Who knows, you might thank me for it some day when you're older." "OK, Rosie, I will." It was time to get back to the glory hole. Wouldn't do to let the line get too long. ***** I talked more with Rosie after lunch. She was going through the paste-up of the magazine she and Mr. Thompson made from all the photos, and making final changes before sending it out to the printer. She wanted me to see the pictures and read the text to help me understand what she wanted from me as a model, and what looked good to a man so he would want to keep reading and buying the magazines. It was a little difficult for me because, like I keep saying, I'm still too young to really get excited or hard from looking at pictures like these. The first story, about the blowjob party where it turned out I had sucked off sixteen men, seemed like just a bunch of pictures of me with big hard cocks in my mouth and then getting facials. But Rosie explained to me how it was important to keep hands and too much hair out of the way, and the sorts of expressions that would let men see I was really enjoying it. But the pictures of Ryan fucking my throat were different, even for me. His big, strong torso was standing at the foot of the bed, towering over my much smaller body dressed up in lingerie, stockings and high heels. You couldn't see either of our faces in the photos because (as Rosie always points out) we needed to respect Ryan's privacy, and my face was almost buried beneath his big cock and powerful legs. But you could see his cock pistoning in and outin the pictures, with a bulge rising and falling in my throat. Finally, there were the closeups of my face after he had finished cumming, covered in drool and with his cum running out my nose. "These pictures are special," I said. "I like how small and cute I am next to Ryan's big cock and strong body. And I look so completely used. That excites men and makes them hard, does it?" "Yes, they love it! You remember how the room actually got quiet then, don't you?" "Maybe I get it, but why, really? Months ago, this all started for me with Mr. Thompson saying that men like looking at pinups because it makes them think about making babies. But this has nothing to do with making babies. It's about as far away from making babies as you can get." "Well, should we go ask Mr. Thompson about it?" "Um, he had a hard enough time just explaining the making babies part." Rosie laughed. "I know, that was teasing. But he doesn't really need to understand or explain it, he's a man and just feels it. Let's see if you and I can figure it out." "Try thinking like him. You reach puberty, and you're given this amazing gift of a cock that gets hard and cums almost automatically whenever you play with it. Like you're just beginning to feel for yourself with your clit, Tina. And you know, it comes out of nowhere as a complete surprise. You may end up jacking off five or six times a day as a young teen just exploring yourself. It seems nothing in life could possibly ever be better, and you think about what it will be like when you get a little older and you can start playing around with girls. "But then ... everything starts getting complicated, with more and more strings attached. It's awkward approaching girls with so many social rules to learn, and it can take forever to find someone who wants to mess around, even just a little. It just gets worse as you get older. It always seems to end up being about convincing someone that you really care for them, then settling down in a relationship, and of course ... making babies. And that leads to getting a job, paying for a house, all that adult stuff. It's definitely not just about you and how good it feels for your cock to get hard and cum anymore. Men start feeling like it's all just a swindle, like they've been had and are being led around. It's just too much. They start to resent the making babies part, even if they know it's important and work hard at it at the same time. "So when men sometimes have the chance to fuck and have their cock sucked just for the fun of it, they may go crazy. It's not only about how good it feels, it's about being able to forget all of that other stuff and have someone who just wants to worship your cock, make you feel good and cum, and expect little or nothing at all in return." "The wilder the better, as long as everyone is happy and having fun. Every man enjoys the idea that someone is eager to suck his cock or let him fuck them just because they want it more than anything else in the world, just can't help themselves, and will go to any length and cross all sorts of boundaries just for the simple pleasure of being his slut. And why wouldn't a man want to feel that way some of the time? Why shouldn't he?" "So having a sissy spend hours and hours dressing up and doing her makeup just for you is a turn on. Training young boys to worship and pleasure your cock on command because they enjoy it is a turn on. Finding someone who loves nothing more in the whole world than cocksucking and deep throating you is a turn on. And finding a young crossdressed sissy eager to let you fuck her throat just as long as you want, that's basically Nirvana!" "No man ever thinks about it in words the way I'm explaining it, of course. His cock just gets hard, much much harder than usual, and starts making all the decisions. So it all feels perfectly natural and normal for him, taking him back to when he was just reaching puberty and discovering what it was to get hard and cum for the very first time." Rosie thought for a second. "I think that's basically it. Men want sex to just be sex and nothing more, at least for some of the time. And have nothing at all to do with having to make babies and everything that comes with that. Exactly the opposite of making babies, just like you said." "Then why does everyone work so hard at pretending it's not really that way, and say so many of these things are perverted?" "It must go back to earlier days and creeds, when the human race really did have to worry about making enough babies to keep going. But that's not our main problem anymore--the bigger problem is how all this denial just makes men miserable. Try to understand how they must feel. I think that pleasuring a man just because you want him to enjoy it and feel good is exactly the opposite of perverted. Worshipping a man's cock and making him cum is blessing, surely one of the nicest and most genuine gifts you can give. It's not just that you make him cum, it's that he knows you want him to cum and that you ask nothing in return. Men can really use that now and then, given how tough life is on them so much of the time." "And there's really nothing at all submissive or humiliating to be ashamed about if you're one of those special people who understand this. You're making the world a better place for everyone, Tina. I think you're halfway to being an angel." Rosie really said all of this, like a little speech. I just sat there and listened, and have tried to write it all down as closely as I can remember. It was way different from how she usually talks, so I think she must have been thinking about it for a long time and really meant it. That doesn't mean it wasn't also a pep talk to make me feel better about being such a little sissy cocksucker so completely. But I think maybe it was also something of a pep talk for herself, too. ***** The afternoon went on normally enough after that, or at least what was normal for me as a kid cocksucker working a glory hole. I knew that I needed to get home on time today after being late on Tuesday, or my parents would worry even more and start to wonder what I might be up to. So I changed back into my street clothes and cleaned off my nail polish and makeup, this time with a lot more attention to detail. I took my lingerie back to the closet and carefully hung all the items back up. I had really liked the red outfit I tried on today. My clit had obviously really liked it, too. I stood there looking into the closet, wondering what I might want to wear on Saturday. Rosie joined me there. "This lingerie is all so pretty. I wish I could take some of it home. I could wear nylons and panties under my pants all the time, and wear full outfits around the house when my parents go out to dinner on Friday nights." I had been worrying about my parents catching me only two minutes earlier, but still couldn't help myself. Rosie was supportive. "Well, why not? These child sizes are something of a specialty item, so they cost more. It's not actually illegal to dress your young son or daughter up as a little slut, and a fair number of parents enjoy doing it. But people have a pretty good idea of what typically happens after that, so these aren't products that are advertised much or sold in stores. But I can get you a starter set if you'd like me to." "How much?" Rosie told me some of the prices. They were expensive, but I had made quite a bit of money over the summer getting five dollars a day to suck cock at the glory hole three days every week. And I hadn't figured out what to spend it on without my parents wondering where I got the cash, so I saved most of it. That money would pay for most of the cost of an outfit, and also the wig and shoes I had worn today. Rosie said that she could cover the rest out of the ten dollars (ten dollars!!) I'd made modeling for the magazine. She said she would even throw in some basic lipstick, eye makeup, blush, and nail polish as part of the deal. And to top it off ... a small-to-medium sized dildo, although not the vibrating type. "Thanks so much Rosie!" "Don't mention it. Tina. You just need to be careful at home until you're ready to let you parents know you dress up like this." I frowned. I couldn't think about telling my folks about my dressing yet, let alone about the cocksucking or the magazines. I'd think of something. "I'll hide it at first. My parents wouldn't understand yet." "You're certainly not the first kid facing this, and I have some suggestions. But we should talk about you first. You've had a great week, but maybe so great you're reaching a point of no return." "No return? How?" I was confused. "Listen, you've been sucking cock for five months or so now, sometimes almost a hundred cocks a week. Do you think you would miss it if you stopped?" "Oh, yes." "Do you think you could stop if Frank and I told you that you couldn't come here anymore?" "I, I don't think so. I'd find other places with horny men to suck, like maybe the restroom at the park." "You're a cocksucker for life now, and you'll never stop or even think about stopping. It's just who you are, thanks to your natural inclinations and how you've been trained." "It will be the same with the crossdressing and deep throating if you keep at it. It won't just be a fling that you'll move on from after you've had enough. You're already getting and staying hard for hours from the crossdressing, and think of how hard Andrea made you cum Tuesday afternoon with Ryan's cock all the way down your throat. And you haven't even had a real sissygasm yet." "There's a new movie out now called 'Deep Throat.' It's pretty good, maybe Frank and I should figure out a way for you to go see it some time. It's about a girl—an actual young woman, really—who can't cum, and she goes to see a doctor about it. It turns out her clit is actually in her throat, and she learns to deep throat big cocks and cum that way. Problem solved." "It's a comedy of course, but you could end up like that if you keep going. You don't have a physical clit in your throat, but you'll have one mentally. Throat fucking will start making you hard, maybe even cum all by itself eventually. You're getting hard again just thinking about it now, aren't you? I think that you and Ryan are going to have lots of fun." "It won't stop with deep throat training, either. There'll be other things you'll like more and more with time. Modeling with groups of men and audiences, of course. You'll definitely get fucked by real adult cocks and play with bigger dildos once you're a bit older, and you know that will make you cum." "Maybe I should stop there." Rosie saw she was reaching my limits. "But there are also other changes you may decide you really want and need once your sissygasms kick in like they're starting to. Permanent changes. I don't mean to scare you. You're still only nine, so you have time." Then I did feel small and vulnerable. Things had started moving very fast this week, and I hadn't had much time to think about it yet. "I'm, I'm just a kid starting fifth grade. I'm just enjoying days off during summer vacation, and suddenly you're talking about the rest of my life." My parents never talked about anything further ahead than which sport I would sign up for next season. Rosie smiled. "It's OK, you don't have to decide who you are this week or this month. But things creep up on us. Believe me, another year or two of training like this and you may be programmed for life. People will use you for pleasure and money this way for the next twenty-five or thirty years. Just like we're using you now." Rosie smiled again. "But maybe that's who you are, so maybe it's really OK for you. My best guess is it probably is, given how fast your training has gone already and how much you enjoy it. Everyone gets used for something by somebody. Even making babies is another way of getting used by your own drives, maybe the main way, I guess. But it will still be up to you to decide who you are, and what you really want." "That's a lot to think about, Rosie." "OK. Enough philosophy and career planing for one day. Do you still have a little time to talk about your parents?" "Yes, sure." This was going to be my main problem for the next week or month. "Like I said, my parents won't understand any of this. My mom saw the nail polish Tuesday night, and it was easy to pretend I had just been playing around with another girl in the park summer program who likes to talk with me and take pictures." Rosie laughed at that. "That's what she thinks I'm ready for right now. Like when I played with dolls and wanted to wear dresses in kindergarden." "They may understand more than you think. Parents fuck and suck cock themselves, even if you can't imagine that, so they must have started out somehow as an older kid or young teen just like you. And they can see more of who you are than you realize, and know that you're starting to change. Moms can accept the crossdressing, and tell themselves you're just going through a phase without thinking too much about it beyond that. Dads understand and accept masturbation, and can easily learn to like having their very own little cocksucker right there at home for daily use after that, particularly if mom is done with giving them blowjobs. Mom doesn't necessarily even need to know about that part, or it can be an open secret for the family. Think of how far Andrea's family has gone. Believe me, more casual, consensual incest goes on out in town than you would ever guess or know about, especially between boys and their dads." "Start with little steps. Keep growning your hair out. You can let your mom find a pair of her panties in your dresser, or let your dad walk in on you jacking off to a pinup magazine. Take it slow, see how it goes. The main thing is for them to understand that you're growing up, starting to think about these things, and accept who you are. They may not want to know more details, or really need to." Rosie stopped for a second, and swallowed hard. "Trust me, I know something about all this." "But things could also get very interesting, like they have in Andrea's family. There are all sorts of possibilities. We've made a magazine of a mom at the gloryhole with her sissy son, and one of a dad and a sissy son dressing up together. Dads usually cum in two different types. Some are like Andrea's dad, but some have a really sissy nature inside them waiting to come out, just like you do. They can learn to like dressing up in lingerie and wearing makeup just like you have, sometimes almost as quickly as you have. And then they suck mens cocks and let them fuck them, sometimes the same men who are fucking their wives and kids, even at the same time!" "Of course, at that point the wife obviously knows what's going on, and is probably the one running the family and making the important decisions. Some husbands even accept complete feminization--taking hormones, having plastic surgeries, eventually castration. It can be the right thing for everyone at that point." "Hormones and castration?" I didn't know those words yet, or understand much of anything Rosie was talking about now. I just needed to get back home on time tonight, and worried whether Rosie would ever stop I didn't interrupt her. And at least for now, it was also time to get back to being an ordinary nine-year-old and have dinner with my parents. This was starting to be way too much. "Sorry, guess I just can't help myself getting serious again. You're ready to know something. Maybe it would all make more sense if I can just show you." Rosie's tone was definitely getting serious. I somehow remembered that Mr. Thompson had used exactly the same words that very first day when he started training me to suck cock. Rosie stood back and raised her skirt. She had panties on, of course, but with a small bulge underneath. Then she lowered her panties, and I saw her clit was just like mine! Maybe a bit bigger, but not very much. But she didn't have a ball sac underneath, not even a little one like mine. Just a patch of wrinkly, thicker, darker skin where one should have been. "Do you get it now? This is why I'm talking with you about making decisions. I was a lot like you growing up. It was even harder back then. My story needs to wait, but this is who I am." I was shocked, almost speechless. "So you're not a real girl?" "I'm real enough now, even if it took some time." Rosie was a little angry with me for the very first time ever, and I realized I had said exactly the wrong thing. "I'm real where and how it matters. We don't know yet, but I think you may be a real girl, too." Rosie was right. Some things you just need to see and do to understand them. Like I said at the beginning, I have some important decisions to make before too long.