Robert and Johnny-The rest of the story Ch 21

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Robert and Johnny
The rest of the story
(Part three of the trilogy began in My 11th Summer, then Tween to Teen) By: Kewl Dad

Lam Age 11

His name was Lam, and his parents had been killed in a raid on his village. Lam, only eleven years old, had hidden beneath the body of his mother, pretending to be dead until the Cong passed. Covered in his mother's blood, trembling with fear and in shock, Lam left his dead parents and his village behind and started out to find shelter and safety.

He was in luck, the first people he encountered during his trek was a scouting party of U.S. soldiers. Quickly assessing the situation, the Lieutenant in command gave the boy a drink from his canteen and some C-rations. The boy spoke little as he sat and ate slowly, his eyes filled with tears, yet having a vacant stare to them.

"Jacobi," Lt. Wilson said motioning one of the younger soldiers over, "think you can find your way back to the e-vac unit."

"Yes sir," the young soldier said in a Southern drawl, "ifn' there is one thing my pappy taught me, it's how to find my way back home."

"Good, I want you to take this boy back there and have one of the medics look him over. Then bunk him down somewhere and let him rest till we get back. I want to talk to him about what happened in his village, but I figure he needs some time to process what he's seen. Damn Cong! he scowled."

"Yes sir," the young soldier said, saluting smartly, then turning to the dirty frightened boy he added, "you ready to go buddy?"

The boy looked from Lt. Wilson to the other soldier, then nodded, but spoke not a word. Wiping his hands on his grimy shorts, he stood and looked at the young soldier expectantly.

"Just follow me buddy," Jacobi said giving the boy his friendliest smile, "you'll be fine now buddy, we got your back."

At the e-vac unit, 20-year-old Gerald McDaniel was the first to spot the two coming through the dense foliage and he wiped his hands on a grease rag and came over to greet them.

"What have we here?" Gerald chuckled, "I didn't know you had a little brother," he teased.

"Found the kid out in the jungle," Jacobi said, then in a softer voice, "poor kid is the only survivor of a Cong raid on that village near here.

"Fuckers," Gerald said angrily, then softening he said, "so...what now?"

"Don't know exactly. Lieutenant Wilson said bring him here, get a medic to look at him, then put him to bed. Hey, I really would like to get back to the recon team, think you could take care of the boy for me?"

"Sure, I don't have anything to do right now. Choppers are grounded till further notice," then to the boy, "What's your name bud?"

Lam took an instant liking to Gerald, and when he tried to leave the boy alone with the medic he became agitated and hid behind Gerald. Gerald just smiled and pulled the boy in front of him and squatted down till at eye level.

"I'll stay if you want bud. That okay?"

The boy nodded and seemed to relax, but he still clung to Gerald as if his life depended on him.

"I think you've made a new friend," the young medic chuckled, "what with that baby face of yours, kid probably thinks you're the same age," he teased.

"Shut it Stewart," Gerald said, but he was smiling, "I just have a way with kids, that's all."

"I'm just giving you shit Gerald, you're all right in my books. Now then, let's have a look at this little guy..." he said kneeling in front of Lam.

A preliminary exam revealed no serious injuries and they soon realized that the blood on his body and clothes was not his own. Gerald had a sinking feeling in his stomach as he thought about that, but he didn't know the whole story yet, and wouldn't for some time.

"I prescribe a shower, some clean clothes, and some bed rest. I've got stuff I have to do Gerald, think you could take care of our patient?"

"Sure, he seems to trust me," Gerald said smiling at the boy, "you wanna come with me buddy?"

The boy nodded, and after thanking the young medic and saying goodbye, Gerald led him to the enlisted men's showers. Crude as they were, they were far more advanced than anything the boy had ever seen, and he had no idea what to do.

"Shower?" Gerald said, "clean, wash, wash..." he said, making scrubbing motions with his hands, "ugh, probably bathed in the river back home, huh? Well, first thing...you, uh, gotta get out of these clothes," he said tugging at the boys dirty tank top.

To his surprise the boy not only didn't resist, but he lifted his arms to allow Gerald to remove the garment. The blood had seeped through, staining the boy's chest crimson and Gerald flinched, wondering once again who's blood it was.

The boy was barefoot, as were most Vietnamese boys, and his dirty shorts were more rips and tears than fabric. While Gerald pondered exactly how next to proceed, Lam took matters into his own hands and simply dropped his shorts, revealing his skinny, bruised, and also blood stained body in it's entirety.

Another place, another time, Gerald might have enjoyed seeing the boy naked, but now all he felt was pity and a desire to protect this small boy and to help him get over his traumatic ordeal.

"Okay, good...good," Gerald said, opening the flimsy canvas door of the closest shower stall, "In you go bud," he said gently coaxing the boy inside. Then shutting the door, he turned on the water and grabbed a bar of soap. The walls of the shower were only about waist high on Gerald, and he was able to reach over the top and move the boy into the spray.

"Sorry, no hot water, but I guess you're used to that," Gerald laughed.

The boy shivered for a moment, then seemed to become accustomed to the temperature and closed his eyes as he let the water run over his face, his hair, and his body.

"That's good, get nice and wet," Gerald said approvingly, "Now, use this soap to lather up with," he said, handing the bar of soap to the boy, who just stared at it.

"It's soap," Gerald said, "you rub it on your body and it gets you clean, like this," he said taking the soap back and demonstrating on the boy's chest.

Lam closed his eyes then, and the look of peace and contentment that came over his face, was all the encouragement Gerald needed to finish the job. He lathered the boy up from head to toe, finally stripping down to his boxers so he could get inside the shower with the boy.

Lastly, he washed Lam's shaggy dark hair, removing several layers of dirt and grease, but finally the boy stood before him sparkling clean, and to Gerald's eyes...very beautiful.

"Feel better bud?" Gerald said, turning off the water at last.

Lam nodded, then gave Gerald a sad smile, "Thank you."

"You're welcome buddy," Gerald said smiling back, "Now, to find you something to wear. Meanwhile, we'll wrap a towel around you to hide your charms from the rest of the camp," he teased.

Lam didn't know exactly what Gerald meant by charms, but he supposed it meant his naked body. Being naked was nothing new to him however, in fact, it was only recently that he'd begun to wear any clothes at all. Like a lot of Vietnamese children he had gone naked most of his childhood, and had no sense of modesty.

"Hey, who's that, a new recruit?" Someone asked as Gerald led the boy to the tent he shared with two other guys.

"Yeah, Uncle Sam is recruiting in the grade schools now," Gerald joked.

The guy just laughed and went on, and soon they arrived at Gerald's tent. His tentmates were elsewhere, and Gerald put Lam to rest on his own cot, then covered him with a thin sheet.

"While you rest, I'll see if I can scare up something for you to wear, okay?"

Lam nodded, his eyelids heavy now that he was clean and safe and in a comfortable bed.

"Good, get some rest. See ya in a while," Gerald said smiling down at the boy, then suddenly he was almost overwhelmed with emotion and found himself bending to plant a kiss on the boy's forehead.

Lam smiled and sighed, but he was already drifting off to sleep by the time Gerald stood and exited the tent.

In the days and weeks ahead, Lam became Gerald's little shadow. The CO had even allowed Gerald to place another cot in their tent, and every night Lam slept contentedly right beside his idol. The worst days for Lam were when Gerald had to fly a mission, and he paced the camp, watching the skies and anxiously awaiting the return of his hero.

When the copters were at last spotted, Lam would practically dance with joy and was the first to meet Gerald as he climbed out of his bird. Of course, some made sport of Gerald and Lam's relationship, but one scathing look from Gerald soon shut any tongue wagging down.

For Gerald, Lam was a breath of fresh air and sunshine in this hell hole that was the war in Vietnam. Each time he flew a mission, he had a reason to return, to see the smiling face of Lam, and to be with his little friend again. However, there was also the nagging fear that someday he might not come back, but it was not for himself that he worried, but rather for the boy. Though he was sure the others would continue to watch out for him, he knew the boy would be shattered if his hero never returned.

Funny thing was, he didn't think of himself as a hero, but he knew Lam did. In fact, Lam idolized him and thought he could do no wrong. Gerald often wondered what Lam would think if he knew about Gerald's past, about his sex with other boys, and about his thoughts concerning him.

Yes, Gerald often thought of Lam as more than just a buddy...a pal, his little shadow. Now that he was eating regularly and getting lots of exercise, courtesy of the Army, Lam had filled out and was a magnificent looking boy.

He'd turned 12 just last week, and the cook had baked a cake just for the occasion. Gerald had given the boy a pocket knife for a gift, and several others in the camp presented Lam with gifts as well, but it was the little pocket knife that Lam treasured more than anything he owned.

Gerald often thought about what it was like when he'd turned 12. By then he'd already begun puberty and was a bit of a sex maniac. Then he'd met first Robert, then Johnny and the rest, and well...things had escalated fast. Sex was not just a pastime for the horny boys, it had become an obsession. He missed those guys, and he missed those days when he was only playing war, and not fighting in one.

Since Lam seemed to have no sense of modesty at all, Gerald had seen the boy naked many times since that first day, and lately he'd begun to notice certain changes in his body. First was the appearance of a few dark hairs above his penis, which Gerald noted had grown some as of late.

One night while Gerald lay on his cot trying to will himself to sleep, the soft sounds of his sleeping tent mates in the distance, he became aware of movement and a soft noise coming from Lam's cot. Covertly he turned his head slightly, and through half-lidded eyes he looked to see what the boy was up to.

He'd suspected what Lam might be doing, but even that didn't prepare him for what he saw as his eyes finally focused on the boy. Naked and laying atop the covers, Lam was stroking his fully erect penis, his eyes closed and a look of bliss on his face.

Gerald was instantly hard and had to adjust himself through his boxers. Not only was the boy beautiful, but now he was becoming a sexual creature, and Gerald worried that he might not be able to control his urges for the boy any longer.

He felt guilty watching the boy, but he was unable to pull his eyes away as the boy continued to pleasure himself. Then suddenly the boy's eyes opened and he rolled his head over to stare directly into Gerald's eyes. Gerald's gut reaction was to look away, but when he saw the mischievous smile on Lam's face and the sparkle in his eyes, he just smiled and nodded.

Lam sighed then and closed his eyes once more, and seconds later he stiffened and a single drop of whitish fluid erupted from his penis. Reaching down and dabbing his finger in his emission, he brought it to his lips as his tongue lapped up it's prize.

Gerald had never been as hard as he was at that moment, and even though he knew it was wrong, he wanted to taste the boy himself so badly that it hurt. He closed his eyes and tried to think of something else, and when he looked back, Lam was sleeping soundly.

Gerald lay there a long time, thinking about what he'd just witnessed and wondering exactly what the boy was thinking as he put on his little show. Was he no more embarrassed by his act of self gratification than he was about being naked? Was it just a natural and normal function for him as using the bathroom was? Or, had he purposely put on a little show for Gerald's benefit to open the door for other things? One thing he was sure of, he could never cross that line with Lam, never let his sexual urges get the best of him. It could not only harm the boy, but destroy his own career, and even likely wind him up in prison. No, he had to keep his hands to himself, no matter how hard that might be.

***********************************************

"I'm worried about Gerald," I confided to Johnny once we were in bed.

Gerald was in the guest room, Mikey on the couch, and all was quiet in the apartment.

"Why? His injuries are healing nicely, right?"

"The physical ones, yes. It's his mental injuries I'm worried about. I've heard that some guys come back from the war and they're all messed up. I don't want that to happen to our friend."

"Well, what more can we do? We're here to support him, and love him, what more is there?"

"I guess you're right, but I think he needs to talk to someone, maybe a shrink or something. Get all that bad stuff out of his head."

I told him about the dark haired boy at Casa Bonita then, and Johnny seemed interested. "Well, maybe there was a boy over there that he liked. Hey, I'm not judging, but I've heard that it's pretty much anything goes over there. As long as your CO or the other soldiers don't know what you're up to. Apparently, boys do it for money as much as girls do."

"That's not what I think happened. I know Gerald too well to think he'd pay some kid to have sex. I think there's more to it than that."

"Well, unless he decides to open up, there's nothing we can do. Now, how about we get some sleep? We have a big day ahead of us tomorrow."

"Sure, but...can you rub my back..." I said coquettishly.

"Oh boy, then your butt, right?" Johnny chuckled, "Well, I guess I'm not all that tired..."

The next day we had a big breakfast, then took Gerald to the Zoo, where Mikey insisted on pushing his wheelchair. Of course Gerald really did most of the work with his strong arms, but Mikey was happy to guide him along as he pointed out the various species of wildlife.

After the zoo, we broke for lunch at a Dairy Queen, then went to Southroads Mall for a little shopping. Though this wasn't our first time to visit the huge mall, we were still captivated by the grandeur and the variety of stores, all under one roof.

At Woolco, Mikey found a table top tennis game, and being the softy that he was, Gerald bought it for him. I didn't object, because I knew this simple act was an act of love, and was as much for Gerald's benefit as Mikey's. Besides, we could all play with it later at the apartment.

From the mall we drove downtown, where we gazed at the tall buildings before heading down Riverside Drive to River Parks. Here we unloaded and took turns pushing Gerald as we did a mile long trek along the paved path by the river.

By the time we got back to the Bug Bus, we were tired, sweaty, and hungry. Back at the apartment, Johnny and I helped Gerald bathe as best he could, then took a shower together. Lastly was Mikey, who surprised us all by running naked from the bathroom, giggling all the way to the living room where he'd left his clothes.

"Who ever thought we'd have a naked little boy running around in our apartment?" Johnny chuckled.

"Well, at least not this soon," I said, "but someday, I hope we will have one of our own."

"I believe we will," Johnny said, reaffirming a view he often expressed.

"I believe you," I said easily, "Now, what to do about dinner..."

We settled for KFC, and Johnny and Mikey volunteered to go pick it up, while Gerald and I lazed in the living room, the TV on, the volume low.

"Thanks again for having me over this weekend," Gerald said smiling, "I love granny to death, but sometimes I get sooo bored."

"Tony and Caleb will take you places too, all you have to do is ask," I assured him.

"Yeah, I know. And I will...but I just didn't want to hurt granny's feelings."

"You won't. Trust me, she understands us young guys," I chuckled, "she's one in a million."

"She sure is," Gerald said fondly, then looking thoughtful he sighed, "I've been thinking...about what you said the other day..."

"Oh, exactly what did I say?"

"That if I ever needed to talk...about stuff...about what went on over there..."

"Yeah, it might help," I said, encouraged by his sudden openness.

"Yeah, I been thinking about calling the guy the VA recommended. His office is here in Tulsa."

"Oh, well...you know...you could stay here a bit longer if you need to. I mean, Johnny and I have to work, but if you could get along without us..."

"Nah, that's not necessary. I can get a ride if I need to."

"Oh, okay. Whatever works."

"Yeah, thanks for suggesting it. I've been having these dreams..."

Suddenly the door burst open and a giggling ten year old came running in carrying a bucket of the Colonel's chicken. Behind him Johnny appeared carrying several sacks with more chicken, and the sides.

Their timing was lousy, but I hoped to get back to where Gerald and I were before the weekend was over. Meanwhile, it was time to chow down.

****************************************

Dr. Evans was a thin, balding man with an engaging smile and an easy going-manner about him. Gerald had liked him right away, but at first he found it hard to open up about his experiences in Nam.

Fortunately, Dr. Evans had a lot of experience dealing with PTSS, and knew it was important not to push Gerald too hard. Instead he let Gerald go at his own pace, and began by asking him about his childhood.

Though open about most things, Gerald didn't go into any detail about his sex life, however, enough was implied that Dr. Evans thought he understood what Gerald was trying to say. He was actually more open-minded than some in his field, for he had experimented with male sex while a teen, and while in college. These days he was a happy bachelor and occasionally dated women , but still had fond thoughts of those males he'd engaged with.

"Your friends are very important to you, aren't they?" Dr. Evans ventured after Gerald had been rattling on about them for a while.

"What? Yeah, I guess you could say they're more important to me than anyone on earth."

"Even your mother and brother?"

"Step-brother," Gerald corrected sighing, "Can I be honest?"

"Of course," Dr. Evans assured him, "keep in mind that I am not here to judge, nor will anything you say here ever leave this room."

Gerald nodded, "My step and I never really got along all that well. And...as for my mom...well...for a long time she was sort of in her own world and we really didn't communicate. She didn't straighten up till recently, after I went into the Army, and well...she didn't even offer to take me in when I got hurt," he said, finally letting his disappointment and anger out.

"I see, and why was that? I mean, did she have a valid reason?"

"I guess," Gerald admitted, "she works a lot, and she really didn't have the time to take care of me, but my friends would have helped..."

"And this has become sort of an issue between the two of you?"

"That, and a hundred other things. I just don't feel close to her, or my step...at all. Heck, I feel closer to that old lady that's taking care of me," he said smiling at the thought, "she's more like a mom to me than my real mom ever was."

"So, I can assume you are quite happy where you are?"

"Yes, oh God yes."

"Is it possible your mother might have wanted you to be someplace like that, where you'd be well cared for and happy?"

"Well, I guess," Gerald said, not really sure if he agreed or not.

"Have you talked to your mother about this?"

"No, not really. She comes to see me every few days...and I try to be pleasant, but I just don't feel it."

"I see, and how do you think she feels about the situation?"

"I dunno, she seems pleasant enough, and her and granny get along fine..."

"I think the two of you need to sit down and talk about your feelings at some point. I'd be happy to sit in on that if you want, but I think it's important that you resolve these issues with your mother for your own sake, as well as hers."

"I'll think about it."

"Well, that's our hour. I'll see you again on Wednesday," Dr. Evans said standing, "remember, you can call me anytime day or night if you need me."

"Yeah, thanks," Gerald said, allowing the Doctor to wheel him into the waiting room where Caleb and Tony were waiting for him.

"Hey guys," Gerald said when he saw his friends, "ready for lunch? I'm starved, and I'm buying," he said grinning.

"Can't beat a deal like that," Caleb said taking the wheelchair from the doctor and thanking him.

"How's Crystal's Pizza sound?" Gerald suggested.

"Great, I love their lasagna," Tony agreed, and soon they were on their way.

******************************************

Over the next few weeks, Gerald began to open up more and more about his experiences, and had finally moved to the areas that were affecting his sleep and causing his nightmares, namely Lam, and what had happened to him.

"Relationships like the one you've described are not uncommon, especially in cases where a child feels that he's been rescued by the person he forms the attachment with. This boy, Lam, apparently saw you as a hero, perhaps even thought of you as a big brother, and I'm sure his feelings for you were quite genuine."

"Yeah, we were tight. I know to some of the guys there it looked weird, me having a kid that age for a friend, but nothing physical ever happened between us, I swear."

"I see," Dr. Evans said simply, "go on."

"Okay, maybe I did have some feelings for him that weren't exactly pure, but I never...ever, touched him that way," Gerald said, tears filling his eyes, "I loved that little guy...still do," he sobbed.

Dr. Evans grabbed a box of tissues and sat it before Gerald, then leaned back and waited for him to compose himself. He had a pretty good idea what had gone on with Gerald and the boy, and though some of his colleagues might think it inappropriate, he prided himself on keeping an open mind. Human love and sexuality didn't always fit into the cookie cutter molds society had made for it. There were all kinds of love, and all kinds of sexual attraction, and who was to say what was right and what was wrong?

"I watched him grow up right before my eyes," Gerald said at last, "It was almost like being a dad, or at least a big brother. I saw the changes in his body as he reached puberty, and since he slept right there beside me in the tent, I saw him...you know? touch himself almost every night. Sometimes it was almost too much to watch...knowing he was there and so...so beautiful, and beyond my reach."

"How do you think the boy felt about that?"

"What? Oh, I'm pretty sure he would have done anything I asked and most likely enjoyed it. In fact, I'm pretty sure he was trying to seduce me," Gerald laughed sadly, there were dozens of times he came on to me but, I always pretended I didn't know what he was doing, then the last time it happened...well, that's when things went all to hell."

"What happened?"

"Well, we'd gone to the river...to bathe you know?, and as soon as we were there, Lam stripped off the shorts he was wearing and was naked in an instant. He was almost 13 by then and he'd grown some...everywhere, and he was...you know? hard."

Dr. Evans chuckled, "I think most boys that age are hard more times than they are soft."

"Yeah, that was him all right," Gerald agreed, smiling for the first time since the session had begun, "Anyway, I started undressing, only I was wearing a lot more clothes than he was, and he sort of got impatient and started pulling at my pants, and that's when it happened."

"What was that?" Dr. Evans said, sitting up in his chair now.

"I...got hard too," Gerald confessed, "and when Lam saw that he...he reached over and touched it...through my boxers, I mean."

"Boys are curious," Dr. Evans said easily.

"Yeah, I froze at first. His hand felt so good...then I came to my senses and pushed his hand away, and I...I sort of bawled him out," Gerald said looking upset, then sad, "I yelled at him. God, why did I yell at him?" he sobbed, "He grabbed his shorts and ran off into the jungle, and...I just stood there, shaking with anger...at myself, not him, and I let him go."

"Did you go after him eventually?"

"I figured he'd wind up back at camp, so I pulled my clothes back on and went back. Almost as soon as I got back to camp, the CO said I needed to fly one of the GIs to the hospital. I was gone about four hours, and when I got back I expected Lam to be there to greet me just like always, but there was no one."

Dr. Evans raised an eyebrow, a knot forming in his stomach as he waited for Gerald to continue.

"I asked everyone. No one had seen him since he'd left with me that morning. I got a couple of guys to go with me and we searched everywhere for him, but he was nowhere to be found."

We went out the next day and searched some more, but there was no sign of him. The next day I had to fly out to take some supplies to the front. After I dropped off the supplies, I ran into some shitty weather and had to set down and wait till the next morning to fly out.

As I sat my chopper down at camp that next day, one of my tent-mates, Freddie, met me as I climbed out.

"He's back," Freddie said, looking grim, "look, I don't know what happened between you two, but he's been through hell and back since he left here. In fact...he was barely alive when he dragged himself back into camp yesterday. He's in the infirmary, but I wanted to prepare you for what you're gonna see. He...he got caught in one of the Cong's traps and he...he lost a leg."

"I almost collapsed when I heard that, but I knew I had to be strong for Lam, and I allowed Freddie to lead me to him. He didn't look up as I approached, just lay there staring up at the ceiling of the tent, and even when I spoke he still didn't move."

"I asked him how he was feeling and he still didn't reply, so I sat down next to him and began to rub his arm gently. That finally got a little rise out of him as he turned his head to stare into my soul with those beautiful dark eyes of his."

"The words he said, I will never forget," Gerald said sadly, "Why didn't you want me?"

"I lost it then, and I had to leave before I fell apart completely."

"I slept the rest of the day, and that evening after chow I went back to see Lam, but he was gone. He'd been airlifted to the hospital by one of the other pilots and I'd never even got to say goodbye. I never saw him again, but I did hear that he had recovered and was living in a Catholic Orphanage, and that he was being fitted for an artificial leg."

"You blame yourself for his injuries, don't you?"

"Of course I do, it was my fault!" Gerald said angrily, "If I hadn't yelled at him, if I'd just talked to him like I always did, explained things to him, he'd have been fine. I drove him away, and he got hurt because of me, and I hate myself every day for what I did to him," Gerald said as tears began to fall once more, "He thought I didn't want him," he whispered sadly, "but he was all I ever wanted, and now...I will never see him again..."

"You can't blame yourself," Dr. Evans said soothingly, "perhaps you could have handled the situation better, but ultimately he was responsible for his own actions. Under the circumstances I think you handled yourself very well. I'm sorry that you didn't get to say goodbye, that would have given you some kind of closure, but at least you know he's well and safe."

"Can we...can we stop now?" Gerald said wiping at his tears, "I think I'm done for today."

"Yes, that's fine," Dr. Evans said, "you've been through a lot, and it took a great deal of courage to talk about those things. Thank you for trusting me, and I sincerely hope that opening up will help you to deal with some of these issues."

"Yeah, I feel like shit," Gerald laughed sadly, "but it does feel sort of good to get it out. Maybe...maybe I should tell my friends what happened. What do you think?"

"I think from the way you've described your friends, that they will be a great source of comfort to you."

"Yeah, you're right...yeah, my friends deserve to know. Thanks Doc. See ya next week, okay?"

"Absolutely Gerald," he said rising to escort Gerald to the waiting room where Robert and Johnny were waiting.

"Hey guys, we knocked off early," Gerald explained, "ready to roll when you are."

*********************************************

In the Bug Bus, Gerald waited till we were seated then began, "I was wondering, do you guys have time for us to go back to your place and talk?"

"Absolutely," I said for us both, "we can have dinner, and if you'd like, you can spend the night. I'm sure granny and the others won't miss you one night."

"Okay, that's fine. After I tell you what I have to tell you, I probably won't be in any mood to travel," Gerald laughed sadly.

"Shall we eat first, or talk?"

"Better eat first," Johnny suggested, "I have a feeling this is gonna take a while."

"Yeah," Gerald sighed, "I'm kind of hungry, what's for dinner?"

I sent Johnny out for fish and chicken and all the fixings, and by the time he returned I had the table set and drinks poured. Gerald's original cast had been replaced by a walking cast now, and he was able to get around pretty well. He sat across from me, while Johnny took his usual place at the head of the table. Was that an indication of the pecking order in our home? No, not at all, Johnny and I sat where we sat so we could be closer to one another.

Despite being nervous, Gerald managed to put away his share of the food, and when the last of it was gone, Johnny and I cleared away the mess, refilled our glasses, and the three of us retired to the living room for our talk.

As Gerald told us about his experiences in Nam, I couldn't help but feel a little guilty. Johnny and I had gone on to college and had dodged that bullet, but poor Gerald was thrown right in the middle of that hell storm, Vietnam. Of course, Gerald had volunteered, but I wondered, if he'd been able to afford college, would he have been so eager to go off to war? Sure, as kids he was always the one initiating our games of war, and when he talked of flying, the excitement in his voice was contagious. In a way, I guess we all got what we wanted, Johnny and I the college experience, then careers, and Gerald, the chance to do something for his country and learn a valuable skill, flying, but at what cost?

"My life was pretty much hell till I met Lam..." Gerald began, and as he wove the tale of his little Vietnamese buddy I could see the love in his eyes for the boy, "This is the only thing I have left of him," Gerald said then, pulling out a worn photo of the boy. He was a beautiful child, but you could see the pain in his face, and it broke my heart. I handed it to Johnny next and he voiced my own thoughts.

"He's beautiful, but he looks so sad."

"That was taken a couple days after he was brought into camp. He was still experiencing the nightmares of seeing his village destroyed, but he was starting to come around. I wish I had taken more photos..."

I nodded and returned the photo to Gerald and he held it, gazing at it at times as he continued. As he did so I suddenly remembered the Asian boy in the restaurant that night, and now I understood why he'd attracted Gerald's attention. The boy had been a reminder of Lam, and that accounted for the sad look on Gerald's face that night.

"So...I never got to see him again. Right after they took him to the hospital I was reassigned to another base. I was actually sort of glad, because everything there reminded me of Lam and the things we did together. I turned 21 right after that, and well...you know what happened next...the crash and all," he said thumping his cast.

"You didn't do anything wrong, you know that?" Johnny said hugging Gerald, "It just sounds like a misunderstanding. If the boy had come back, I'm sure the two of you would have worked it out."

"I agree," I said, "he was just young, and horny, but he'd have gotten over your rejection, eventually."

"I did reject him, didn't I?"

"Yeah, but you did what your heart told you to do, right? You really loved that boy, didn't you?"

"Oh God, did I ever. He was just so....is so...beautiful. I've been thinking...when I get well...when I'm healed...I might go back there and see...see if I could find him...just to make sure he's okay...and...well, see if there's any way I could...you know? bring him back here."

"Hey, that's a great idea," I said enthusiastically, "and Johnny and I would help in any way we can. Maybe we can even get the church involved. I know they do work like that, helping to bring kids to the U.S. and stuff."

"We could adopt him," Johnny teased, "then we'd have a son, and you could have your buddy."

"Thanks you two, but I doubt we'll ever get that far. I just want to make sure he's okay, you know?"

"I understand," I said hugging Gerald to me, "You big old teddy bear."

"I feel better already," Gerald said wiping tears from his eyes, "thanks guys, thanks a lot. No matter what happens, I'm grateful for your support and encouragement."

"Aww...it's what brothers do, and you're our brother, even if we don't share the same blood. Brotherhood is in here, in your heart," Johnny said tapping his chest, "and we're brothers for life."

"Absolutely," I agreed, "Now, how about the three of us retire to our bed and engage in some not so brotherly love," I said grinning.

"Oh, then I guess I am staying the night?" Gerald said grinning.

"You bet your sweep bippy," I said, and we all laughed.

(To those too young to remember Laugh In, The phrase "You bet your sweet bippy" originated there.)

End Chapter 21

Next: An old friend visits

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