Chapter 224


Our hope is that every homosexual youth in this country can find a home and someone to love them as they are.
No one deserves to be discriminated against, no matter what their differences from society's norm

A tidy quote from chapter 137
"titles belong on books, not people" ©Carl Dickson—2007

Does your mother know you're reading this shit?

Warning: This story is PORNO. I have tried my hand at friction, now I'm trying fiction. This story contains vivid descriptions of sexual activity between men and teen boys.
It contains no truth, partial truth, or half truth. What it does contain is stroking material. If this kind of story turns you off, or offends you, please find something else.
The author does not encourage or condone sex between adults and underage children.

If you are underage, or if this is illegal where you are, then please go away. If you're under 18, Adios come back when it is legal for you to read this smut.
If you lied about your age in order to access this story, remember this is our story. Life doesn't always work out like a story.

A strongly worded suggestion has resulted in this statement.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either
are the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitioiusly,
and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business
establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Thus said, this story is copyrighted, ©2005-2012. It is therefore illegal to copy or use any part of this story on any other web site without my written permission.

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    Of all of the Christmases that I have ever celebrated I will have to say that the Christmas of 2009 will go down in my memory books as the absolute best. Not only were we able to celebrate the Christmas traditions of Europe with every boy from each of the Bradford Academies, but we were able to get to know each boy on a more personal level. Add to that the great surprise that my wife had waiting for me at home on Christmas morning, but more about that later.
    Bless his hinney, Cullen had opened my eyes to my blindness. I had felt secure in having the boys in Arizona. I never considered that they had traditions that they had learned during their childhood. To ignore those traditions would have made me no better than the families of those boys that had cast them away for one reason or another. My sole ambition is to provide for every boy that seeks my help. By providing I mean to do more than feed them, educate them, house them, and occasional fuck a few of them. My aim is to reunite them with their families.
    The boys can continue to stay at their schools, but if family ties can be mended along the way that is a very good thing. My heart was gladdened with more than a few partial reconciliations amongst the boys from BAW at our Thanksgiving dinner. I would like to see that occur in every school. I can not be at every school at all times so I don't know what occurs there until the staff informs me. I have learned that many of the boys are talking to their folks for the first time since arriving at their school.

    The cooks from each school prepared their national treats for the holidays. Beginning the night of the twenty third boys from BAB began to walk through the dorms singing carols. Their innocent voices beckoned me to follow and listen closely. As they stopped at the opening of each house they were given tarts, candies, and even small fruit cakes at the German's house.
    The area became a mad house on Christmas eve. Last minute decorations were put into place. Gifts came from thin air to be placed about the large tree in the vestibule of building C, the only place with enough vertical space for a twenty five foot tall tree. The lights were shut off on the lower floor of that building as candles were lit to illuminate the scene in tranquility.
    At sundown all of the boys from each of the schools dressed in their finest holiday clothing then gathered in that small place wherever they could. It was crowded, but it was a good kind of crowding. Eighteen hundred and ninety five bodies—staff, cooks, and boys—filled every space available, including the stairs and the upper walkways. Many boys had to settle for standing outside, but no boy was forgotten or overlooked.
    RD played the part of the senior elf with help from twenty of BAW's finest. Staff members from the various schools helped to point out their students as individual packages were located and distributed. Every boy got a personal gift from me. Each boy received a gift from his school's head and many received gifts from their classmates. By the end of the evening each boy had at least four gifts to carry to his cubicle to join with their secret wish gift from Santa and their new iPod from Secret Santa.

    At midnight the sounds of very large church bells began to peal through the darkness. Each boy was handed a candle, which he lit from a boy nearby, and began to walk toward the sound of the bells. Nolan and Tristan had been very busy the previous two days as they mounted six large, and very old, brass bells in an old tower located near the ruins of the old village. All of us were afraid that the weight of the bells would bring the old structure crashing to the ground, but it held up to the challenge.
    Over two hundred of the villagers had known of the midnight service and were waiting with their trucks set in two rows to guide the boys in to a large area arranged with seating for two thousand. Everyone found themselves a seat and were silent in observance of the solemnity of the evening.
    Illuminated by two large candle operas set to each side of the podium Pastor Cas stood up and delivered the story of the Holy night as told in the Book of Luke. It was a totally non-denominational service that offended no one yet appealed to everyone. There are still a few boys of the Hebrew faith and quite a few Muslims attending school at BAP and BAF, but even they were on the edge of the seats as they paid rapt attention to Cas. His homily lasted for fifty six minutes. He put so much impact into the story that many were moved to tears and many were heard to say that they could hear the heavenly Angles singing alleluias and hosannas to the King of Kings.

    The English boys started singing first with "Hark the Herald Angles Sing" the French boys followed that with "Noel" then a sweet soprano voice sang out in Deutch with "Silent Night". That song took on three choruses before I directed the staff to guide the boys to bed. All of the way to the dorms the boys sang "Silent Night" over and over again. Their voices blended in perfect harmony as every range, except a solid base, echoed across the starlit desert to echo back to us from fire mountain.
    I carried Roddy on my shoulders as I walked alongside of Cory and RD. Cory spotted Wesley walking alone and he ran to bring him back to me. I took his hand and led him to the house for the evening. Once we were safely behind closed doors I told him that his sister wanted him to join the family for Christmas dinner. A sleepy Roddy raised his head, "Me too, daddy?" I kissed him and told him that he was going too and he quickly went back to sleep.

    Before dawn Nolan and I ferried my close family over to the waiting helicopter. Cory, Roddy, RD, Cullen, Jimmy, Wesley, and I were a full load for the little bird, but I had not wanted to attract attention by bringing in a larger chopper. The way that I had it figured, Roddy and Cullen weighed about as much as a grownup so we were good to go. We packed ourselves inside and prayed that we could get off of the ground and safely over the mountain to my house.

    We changed our clothes for something more festive that would meet the spirit that all of us felt ourselves in then gathered a few dozen packages that we had for the ladies in our lives. We were more than a load for the small four person golf cart that awaits me outside the exit of the theater and the entrance into the tunnel that runs through the large cavern under the school. RD, Cory, and I rode over with Jimmy driving, Jimmy would return for the others while the three of us sneaked into the house to play Santa and place our presents under the tree.
    "Good morning, little brother. Oh, I see that you are playing Father Christmas. I'll be quiet." El was adding seasoning to a large goose as she prepared to place it into the oven. I didn't know whether to set my armful of gifts down and hug her or to go quickly to the tree to complete my mission. She handled that one for me, "Go, go do your duty to your wife then comeback and join me in a cup of tea."
    "I don't believe that both of us can fit into one of those teacups, I'll just have coffee , thank you." I barely got around the corner before a hot pan glove came flying across the room. RD and Cory grabbed my packages and placed them under the tree as we heard Cullen squeal from the kitchen. If his voice didn't awaken the girls then nothing would. My co-conspirators and I made a dash for the breakfast table and a cup of coffee.
    "Who…oh, good morning. Quis. You are here early, I wanted to have breakfast ready for you," Ugitsiha greeted me with a kiss to follow up.
    "We came in early so that I could watch you cook. I love to see you patter about the kitchen. Er, that and we wanted to slip away before the boys awakened. I want them to have the best Christmas day of their new lives. Heaven knows that they have precious little since they were in the house of their parents for their last holiday." I clouded over.
    Ugitsiha slipped into my lap, "You care too much. You have given everyone of those boys so much of your love that I am surprised that you have any left. I don't feel deprived, you seem to have more than enough love for everyone."
    "When are we going to eat, mom? I'm hungry. Can we have whole wheat buck cakes with wild honey and sorghum? Are there any blue berries left? I want raspberries too. Can we have…?"
    I picked Roddy up and tickled his ribs, "Just where do you intend to put all of that food, do you have a hollow leg or something? Ooohh, I found it." I squeezed his cocklet which caused him to squeal again. Everybody turned to look at him then just shook their heads.
    I heard other young lungs at work. I rose and headed for my baby's room. It was plain to see that Cory was correct, the room was just too small for Ugitsiha and both boys. Christopher Stevens is growing quickly and Cullen James is right on his heals. I haven't looked into Sagi's room, but I know that it is even smaller than Ugitsiha's. Beulah and Quemela are sharing the room that was the games room when Cory bought the house, it was time for a move.
    I made a quick change of two stinky diapers. I had to wash CJ down, he had an overflow problem. I pulled the bedding from his crib and rinsed it out then put the blankets into the dirty clothes hamper. I dressed both squalling boys as quickly as I could, I knew that they were hungry. I met Cory in the hallway with a double arm load of his own crying babies and we raced for the kitchen and baby food.
    We had to move everyone away from the table so that we could get the kids into the highchairs. Another small place in Cory's house that convinced me that we were doing the right thing. Sagi and Ugitsiha had hot cereal and milk ready for the kids so Cory and I sat down and began to feed them. Roddy had a plate piled high with his buck cakes. I am not fond of sorghum, but to each his own. He liked it so that settled it.
    The babies were quiet, when they had their little tummies full. Awinita broke the tranquility with a loud cry, Beulah checked her and carried her from the room, she was wet again. Chrisy and CS wanted down to play. Both of them ran for their toy box as their mother's warned them about getting the toys in everybody's way. They didn't understand until they were told that Santa was watching them.

    The door from the garage opened and Philby came in with a very large suitcase. "These airlines think that they can spoil my holiday, they have never messed with a Lord of Parliament before." Cullen bounced across the room to give his father a hug and help him with the large piece of luggage. "No, son, that is not our clothes it contains the fixings for your mother's holiday feast. The suitcase was laid on its side and unzipped. It contained a wide assortment of various unidentifiable foods and five extra large bottles of wine. El rushed over and dug around then came up with a small box. She cradled it to her bosom as she rushed to the oven and opened the door. She took a set of measuring spoons and began to add spices to her goose.
    Philby offered us a glass of warm wine. I pointed at the clock, it was not yet eight. I told him that we had not had breakfast yet. "Quite right, quite right. Maybe I'll have a cup of coffee with you. Agnes makes your coffee for me and I have grown to like it." I was about to ask about Agnes when the door opened once again. Agnes was dragging a large box into the house. "I say, let me help you there," he said a little chivalrously.
    Agnes and El quickly opened her box and removed gayly decorated packages. They left the room then returned for more. "I do believe that Father Christmas has come while I was at the airpark. There are many more packages about the tree than before."

    I moved into the garage, "Santa bring you anything nice?"
    "You got me in the heat of the moment," Andy said through his heavy breathing.
    "At last. You seem to know when to catch me, it is my turn. Go get Cecil and Del, their mother's are here. Don't tell them why and try to keep the other boys away. I want them to enjoy their Christmas morning. Hurry now, you don't have time to be fucking around. Time is wasting and Santa waits for no one but you."
    "Yeah, but you love me anyway."

    A hot, home cooked breakfast had been consumed and the dishes washed and put away when the doorbell rang. "Agnes, I'm rather busy, be a love and answer that for me." I sat back and took a long drink of my coffee as I watched the look on the face of the others.
    From the other room we heard, "Happy Christmas, mum."
    "Cec. Oh my boy. Happy Christmas to you too. Come in, both of you, come in." She followed the boys into the kitchen. El looked up and saw Del. She placed her work on the kitchen counter and rushed to hold him. Cullen moved in for a family hug. I was totally satisfied. I had enjoyed the best Christmas morning of my life. I had no idea what lay in wait for me before I had to return to Camp Christopher.

    Sagi and Ugitsiha carried the babies to the tree in the front room and sat them down several feet from it. The rest of us gathered around wherever we could find a place to gather. Small boxes were set in front of them then Ugitsiha smiled and set a large box in front of Roddy. His eyes lit up as he ripped the paper away. I stepped through the crowd and picked up another large box with his name on it then placed it on the floor before him.
    Before he could open it Cory and I each took several boxes and set them before RD and Quemela. Roddy forgot what he was about and turned to watch his big brother open gifts that were going to change his world. Quemela found a set of very expensive stainless steel cookware of the same manufacturer as my own prized cookware. She was showing RD the shiny bottoms as he dug through his own box and found a five hundred watt, 7.1 surround sound home theater system.
    Next RD opened a box that contained a fifty two inch LED television set, Quemela held up a large china platter as she exclaimed that her box contained a complete service for twelve. "These are great. We don't have anyplace to store all of this until we are married and find ourselves a house though." Quemela let out a squeal that rivaled the babies as she opened a lined silverware chest with a complete serving for twelve in sterling silver.
    El and Philby set a large box before the couple that contained a twenty piece sterling silver tea set that had once belonged to her mother. There were large tears in Quemela's eyes as she thanked her future aunt for such a valuable gift.
    Ugitsiha enlisted my aid in pulling out an extra large box. It had no expensive gifts in it, I had already given the couple a TV and a sound system. This box was Ugitsiha's idea. It contained a service for eight of everyday dishes along with stainless steel flatware, plastic drinking containers and enough kitchen cooking utensils to outfit an army of cooks. The girls had decided that things like blenders and toasters and mixers would come from a bridal shower and gifts left at the wedding itself. I had to agree, after all they're women and they know this stuff. Right?
    Sagi helped Quemela to carefully remove a fluted stem ware goblet from a box that said that it contained a forty eight piece set of hand cut crystal. I looked at RD, "I think all of those dishes would like nice in that old hutch over there, and there is room in the sideboard for all those spoons and things." Everybody booed me. "I think that those plates will look okay on that table. I hear that it is pretty old so I hope it doesn't fall down under the weight."
    "Dad, don't you remember that Ģer said that the Duncan Phyfe table alone is worth over ninety five thousand dollars. That is my heirloom left to me by my mother." I smiled at him and patted his knee.
    "Jimmy, you only loaned your mother's antique furniture to Cory. I didn't have enough furniture for Cory to fill this house. You will be wanting those priceless pieces back someday."
    "For what reason, dad? It's not like Culley and I are going to be sitting up a right nice house of our own." Right nice? Jimmy has been in England for too long. "Besides that, if RD has the furniture then I know that I will be able to come see it, if I ever get melancholy."
    "But what will Cory do for furniture for this house?" RD asked.
    "I won't be needing to furnish this house." Cory handed RD a small square jewelry box, like a ring box." RD opened it and it contained a pair of house keys. Cory passed Quemela a piece of paper, she unfolded it and gasped as she showed it to RD.
    "Cory, this is the deed to your house."
    "Read the deed, it is your house on your wedding day. It is my gift to the best damn brother in the whole wide world. I love you, dude. I want you to have the best possible start with your new life and your new wife. I know that your wedding is six months away, but all of us wanted to give you everything that your hearts desire."
    "I never desired your house, bro."
    "Quemela has often been heard to pray for a house such as this and it is close to dad too."
    "But where will Sagi and your kids live? How about Ugitsiha and Beulah?…"
    "We haven't finished opening all of the Christmas gifts yet."
    Cory and I had been busy having a large house to the east of the old vineyard on the eastside of granite house remodeled for our wives. The house is a single story home with a super large kitchen, six bedrooms, three on each end of the house, and four full sized bathrooms. There is a large family room opening from the kitchen with a half bath next to the laundry room. The sunken living and raised diningroom open from the front door with a half bath tucked in next to a large guest closet for heavy overcoats during Tucson's bitter winters.
    The major delay in the remodel was the cutting of a tunnel from the wine cellar to the new basement of that house. A secure steel door had to be added for the girl's privacy. The house would be ready for occupancy by the first of May.
    El quickly dashed from the room to check her goose. Beulah had peeled potatoes and put them on the fire. Agnes had a chestnut dressing ready for the oven. When everything was in its place the three women rejoined us.
    "Quemela, I am sorry that I did not bring your little brothers in for this day. I was having a hard time spiriting us away and it never occurred to me bring Ita and Inagei with me."
    "Dad, I understand. I am sure that they are having fun where they are. I will take them out for a special day when they return from camp." She said, but I could see the hurt in her eyes. Sagi had her brother, Wesley, with her. I had let my daughter-in-law down.
    "Want me to go get them?" I jumped at Andy's voice.
    "Pay backs are bitch, big daddy."
    "Bring them quickly. Dinner is almost ready, and yes, you and Kyle may join us." I had to tell the family what was going on. I got hugs from around the room. I had to show Philby my soundbud and miniature transmitter.
    It was almost nine and the babies were getting fussy. CS and Chrissy were busy playing with their new trucks as they made motor sounds with their little mouths. I picked up CJ and headed for the bedroom with him. "Me too, daddy, me wan go too." I had anticipated that as I bent down to pick him up. Roddy scooted in beside me, he had seen me yawning.
     I seldom ever get tired through the day, but we had a late night with the midnight church service and then gathering Wesley to us for a short night in slumber land. Roddy ran to the kitchen then came into the bedroom with two bottles for the boys. Each one has a different bottle, of course, CJ is still on formula, albeit a little weaker than when he was younger. Roddy placed the bottles into the warmer then came to the bed to help me to change the boys for nap time.
    I placed CJ in his crib. CS placed himself in the middle of the bed as he waited for his daddy to lay down and play with him. I removed my pants and shirt as I laid myself down on top of the covers in only my underwear and socks. Roddy quickly matched my attire then lay down on the other side of CS and began to tickle his little brother.
    I let my fingers get under CS's chin and listened to him giggle then the next thing that I knew was when his drool run down my neck. He was sound asleep on top of me and Roddy was curled up in the crook of my arm. I felt a warm blanket cover me up and opened my eyes in time to get a kiss from Ugitsiha, "Sleep now my mighty Waya, I will awaken you when Ita and Inagei arrive." Ten seconds later she removed CS from my chest and told me that the boys were there and that Andy wanted to talk to me. She asked if she should show Andy into the bedroom. I looked beside me and Roddy was gone so I told her to send him in.
    "Ewhh, you're all ready for me."
    "In your fondest dreams. Did any of the other boys want to know where you were taking Ita and Inagei?"
    "No, Nolan had them picking lemons from the trees in the orchard. I think that a little fertilizer and lots of water should give you a nice citrus orchard of you own next year."
    "I believe that you are right. I don't want to ask Nolan why the orchard has been let go. He will tell me in his time."
    "What did you want to see me about?"
    "I didn't want to see you about anything, I just wanted to see you, you are so sexy…"
    "Get out of here you letch."
    "Can I help it? You like boys, I like sexy men." I tossed my pillow at him as he quickly exited the room. I looked at the clock on the night stand, it was fifteen past ten. I had slept the morning away.
    I rejoined the family and found Philby sitting in the large rocker recliner sound asleep. Ita and Inagei were curled up in a corner by the tree. I did not see Cory or RD. I headed to the kitchen and was handed a cup of coffee, all of the girls were hard at work with our Christmas dinner. Sagi asked me how late I had kept everybody up at the camp. I told her about the midnight church service. She told me that RD, Cory, and Wesley were asleep on her bed while Jimmy and Cullen were asleep in Quemela's room. I didn't feel bad about my one hour nap at all.
    Del came into the kitchen. I asked him where he had been. "Curled bout be'ind yer sofa, da. I slept right soundly, I did." All of us laughed. Del is a breath of fresh air in a stagnant world.
    I told the girls about the European boys celebration of the Epiphany. El added insight to the pageantry of the day. I asked Beulah and the girls to dress in their finest deerskins and join us. I told them that the wise men and shepards had been present and through the years a drummer boy had been added, I thought that it was about time for the Indian nation to join in worship of the Christ child. They agreed.
    I turned to El, "You and Agnes can put sone starch into Philby's underwear and make him march with them as Lord and Ladies." They laughed.
    "Chris, we were planning to go home tomorrow."
    "Bullzbomb."—I caught myself in time on that one—"You have not seen Tucson. I would like to show you around myself, but I am rather involved with eighteen hundred and sixty two boys until about the fifteenth of January. Stay and see the sights. I will take you up my mountain to see the upper camp. I will have Andy provide you with a guide to take you up to our famous Mt. Lemon and the ski slopes there. I don't believe that there is any snow yet, but you can see the tall pines and look down across the desert from its lofty heights.
    "I believe that three girls would love to take you shopping. I know that your sister-in-law would. Please stay. I will even fly Cullen in to spend a day with you."
    "Fly me to where, uncy?" El explained our plans to him.
    I had to turn my attention to my wife, she was making plans of her own. I asked her to tell me, "We thought that Chrisy and Cory should march with us. I am going to send to that little gift shop in the Tsalagi Village at Tahlequah for white buckskins for each of them"
    "I will have Pete fly to Oklahoma and pick them up. Tell me when they will be ready." I got a big hug for that one.

    The rest of the men folk entered the kitchen. Roddy was hiding behind RD's leg. "Do you mind if this one doesn't make it to his thirteenth birthday. He has been tickling my nose trying to get me to wake up. He tickled Wesley and RD too, but they want to protect him. I want to scalp him." Roddy ran to hide behind me. He knows that Cory is teasing him, but he also knows that Cory can be a grouch when he is awakened too soon.
    The entire group moved back into the front room to resume opening presents. Beulah sat with Ita and Inagei on the floor. She had the look of a contented brood hen on her face. Roddy moved back into the place of honor between my legs and rested his head against my chest. He was eager to see what Santa had brought him. After all he is a young boy. Twelve might seem grown up to a boy, but when it comes to birthdays and Christmases the kid in them shows through all of their grown up demeanor.
    It was RD's turn to pass around packages. He pulled out six packages for his young, soon to be, brothers-in-law. They both took their earphones from the iPods our of the ears and told him 'thank you.' RD looked at a small box in the branches of the tree then looked at me, I shook my head. He looked at the two large packages behind the tree, I nodded my head. I eye talked him to pull out the larger box first. When he placed the box in front Roddy he began to bounce, almost like a baby boy—bouncing baby boy, get it? Oh well.—He seemed to be appraising the box as he ran his hands over the surface and down the sides. I asked him if he needed help opening it.
    "No, daddy. It is just so big. I never got no present this big afore."
    "I did." He paused, "When I got you. You are the best present that I have ever received." He turned in my lap to put his arms around my neck and look directly into my eyes.
    "I got the better end of that 'cause I got you. I miss my father, but, daddy, if he hadn't died then I would never have you for my daddy and I love you so much."
    "You say that now, but wait until you open your gift. You just might change your mind."
    "Nuh uhhh." He quickly turned to the large box and ripped the wrappings off. The side of the box read, 'Pampers', large. Fits twenty four month to age four. "You think that I am still a little baby. I told you that I want to be your baby boy forever, but daddy, this is ridicolus." I simply pointed to the top of the box and eye talked him to open it.
    At the very edge of discovery Nvgidiganvsadi—beast—charged across the floor and pounced on Roddy causing him to fall over sideways. That is what beast wanted and he climbed aboard his young master and began to lick his face. Roddy was giggling with glee as he rubbed the animal behind his ears and hugged him close to his body. "Did you miss me, old boy? I missed you, a lot. I am having so much fun, but I wish that you could be there with me." He looked up and me and I shook my head.
    His bottom lip curled. "Think about it son. Eighteen hundred a sixty one boys would want to play with your dog. They don't have a dog of the own there, it would be unfair to them, and think about poor Nvgidiganvsadi. Why he might have all of his fur rubbed off of him.
    "Nuh uhhh…"
    "I believe that you were about to open your gift."
    "Oh yeah." He pulled open the taped lid and squealed with delight. "An electric train. Man, look at all of that track" He removed several small boxes of track and four boxes containing a pair of electric switches each. He was at the bottom of the box removing boxes that were labeled as building for a town. There was a box with electric light poles, with working lights, and a box with four sets of traffic control lights. "Where's the train, daddy?"
    "Your mother and I might be able to afford a train car or two by the time your birthday rolls around." His bottom lip dropped lower than I had ever seen it.
    RD picked up a box about three feet, by two feet, and ten inches thick. "Oh, I missed this one. It says to Rodney with all our love, mom and dad. Could this be for you?" Roddy was reaching for the box like a starving man. He wasted no time in tearing the wrapping paper off then he let out a gasp. I had placed ten locomotives on the top layer of the box. Beneath those engines were fifty assorted rail cars from freight to passenger cars. Roddy looked at me with his mouth hanging open and tears in his eyes.
    "Thanks, daddy." I pointed to his mother, he climbed up out of the mess around him and went over to sit in her lap. "Thank you, mom. That is the neatest and bestest train set in all of the world." He stopped and looked around, "Where are we going to set it up. There ain't no room in this house. When did you say that we would be moving?" Ugitsiha had to cover his mouth and tell him to stop for a breath.
    "I believe that there is a large room beneath the garage that would contain all of this train set. If I am not to missnakebit I think that John Little and Little John have been down this week installing a few gazillion electric outlets and new ceiling lighting. Shall we go check it out? Ita and Inagei my want to come also."
    "Sit your scrawny ass down. We are still passing out presents." My wife has spoken. I nodded at RD to take the package from the inner branches of the tree and pass it to her.
    "Yes dear. Whatever you say, dear. I am yours to command, dear." She threw the wrapping paper from her gift at me. I ducked. I didn't duck when she launched herself off of the couch and threw herself at me. I got a very fine hug from her and many very warm faces from the others in the room. She was clutching the elongated box in her hand. She looked at the room and quietly opened the box for all to see. It contained a diamond necklace with eight total carats of flawless white diamonds with a large teardrop shaped yellow diamond of almost five carats hanging in the center."
    "I say old man. Did you buy a South African diamond mine?"
    I held my hand near my mouth to direct my voice directly at him. "It would have been a darn sight cheaper. But my true love is worth every penny I have if it makes her happy."
    "I don't need trinkets to make me happy. You make me happy every time that you say my name or smile at me."
    "Wow, what a relief. Then you won't mind if I return this trinket?" I reached for the box.
    "When I am dead and gone. I don't really see Cory wearing this." That sent the room into pandemonium.
    I had to stop and look around at everybody's gifts. I had been so involved with my young man that I had missed the other's as they thrilled to wrapped treasures. I was moved when RD pushed a large stack of gifts at me. "Here dad, it is time for us to watch you open a few gifts from those that love you more than words can ever tell." I love to give, but I am a terrible receiver. I believe that the head shrinks have a word for that, but I won't let it bother me for too long.
    Cory knows that I normally wear sweaters during Tucson's mild winters. He and Sagi bought me ten very nice cashmere sweaters in a variety of colors, no yellows—You might remember that story, when I first entered the used book store that later became Tomes of Time. Yellow has a time and a place. I may be a queer, but I try not to dress or act like one.
    RD and Quemela bought me six monogrammed, silk blend, long sleeve shirts. I know that they sell for over one hundred and ten dollars apiece because I have four of them hanging in my closet. El and Philby had carried three handmade English wool suits with them. I didn't have the heart to tell them that it seldom gets cold enough to be able to tolerate wool suits in Tucson. I thanked them and apologized for having shipped my gifts to them a few days earlier. They smiled and thanked me for the thought behind such personal gifts, they had received them on Monday the twenty first. It was time for me to roll my eyes and look at the ceiling.
    My gift from Ugitsiha was packed in an old shoe box. I opened it to find six pairs of my favorite underwear and a dozen pairs of socks. I reached over to kiss her and thank her. "Now you all see what I mean about him. He will give me a ten or fifteen thousand dollar neckless and be happy with a dozen pairs of dollar store socks. What do we have to do to give you something that you really like?"
    "He has more money than the national debt. He can buy anything that he wants. I racked my brain trying to find him a gift that I know that he will use. RD and I went through his closets as we sought something that he would like. He already has sweaters and he has shirts just like these. We didn't know what to get for him."
    "I know what daddy wants." Roddy came over and hugged my neck and gave me a dozen juicy boy kisses. I can live with that sort of a gift, twice, and four or five times on a weekend day. Ugitsiha moved down to the floor and hugged me. I hugged her back and moved in for a dozen kisses from the one dickless one that I don't mind having sex with, every once in awhile. She took my right hand from around her back and placed a small jewelry box in it.
    I opened the box and found one two carat Asscher cut blue diamond stud in an invisible setting. Also in the box was a bright red .88 carat asscher cut stud in an invisible setting. The stud earrings were of superior quality and workmanship. I felt like running home to get my jeweler's eyepiece so that I could exam the beautiful pieces of jewelry. I knew without asking, but I had to look up at Cory. He sported the mate to the blue diamond in his right ear. Ugitsiha smiled at me. I grabbed her and finished our kiss. I have a wonderful dickless one for a wife. Not many wives will tolerate their husbands living openly with their gay lover. That is just one of the many reasons that I love my squaw bride.

    Cory, RD, Inagei, and Ita joined Roddy and me to set up his trains in the sub-basement. That area is actually a part of the large cavern that runs under the school property. It is a small cavern in itself with a narrow opening of about ten feet in width. I had a large steel door affixed across that opening for the girl's security.
    When Roddy walked into the room his little eyes popped once again. I am beginning to think that he should wear safety goggles to catch his eyeballs when they really do pop out of his head. The father and son team of electricians had not been the only ones at work in that area.
    Sitting almost in the middle of the room was a twelve sheet plywood table that had been painted green. The Littles had installed electric outlets at a center console for all of the transformers and power packs. There were other outlets placed around the board for any extras that might need to be added to the final setup. To one end sat a raised console with holes pre cut for all of the main controls. I asked Roddy what we should do first.
    "I want to play with my trains before lunch and before we have to fly back to camp. I know that I won't get no time to play with it until all the peans go home." I ruffled his hair, he has a hard time remembering to say Europeans. Each of the boys took a box of track and began to assemble the pieces. I was setting the transformers into their slots. We let Roddy tell us how he wanted everything placed.

    "Dad, how much do you think these earrings cost?" Cory asked in a low voice.
    I looked toward the door and told him that one should never question the price of a gift. I then stage whispered so that he could hear me, but not loud enough to be heard at the door, should it open. "I keep up on the price of stones so that I know how much my collection is worth. The blue diamond is a rare stone. It gets its color from cobalt in the ground where the diamond was formed over time. These are at least two carats each. I would say that the unmounted stones are worth around seventy five hundred dollars. Add the mounting…probably eight grand for the pair.
    "The red diamonds are of the deepest red that I have ever seen. They almost look like rubies. The stones are small. I believe that the girls did that on purpose because the deep, bright color would draw a lot of attention. I think that they would retail at about six hundred dollars."
    "Wow, I wonder if Sagi paid half of the price. She bought the red studs you know."
    I didn't know that. I was not paying attention to the gift card or anything else because I was so overwhelmed by the beautiful gift that took a lot of thought and showed a lot of love. I will have to do something really nice for my wife. I winked at Cory and reminded him that we still had three more gifts to give. We had planned to make them a homecoming gift when we returned from Camp Christopher, but it seemed as if the right moment was then.
    The door opened and Philby walked over to watch Roddy run two of his trains around the tracks. "That is one amazing boy. I had forgotten how much fun a child can be. Cullen is grown up now and El and I do not expect to see a grandchild. That it too bad."
    "Don't give up that easily. I am pushing the youngster toward the idea that he needs an heir. There is young lady that he has talked to me about several times. I happen to know that she is stricken by him and has set her heart to marriage with him when she come of age."
    "Who is she? How old is she? How do you know her desires?"
    "Typical dad here guys. She is the sixteen year old sister of Cullen's bodyguard, Wayne. Wayne shares his mother's letters with me and they always tell of another fantasy by the girl. Wayne thinks she is a silly child. I believe that she is a young debutante on her way up and Cullen better prepare himself because she is about to sweep that boy off of his feet."
    "What about young James? What will become of that beautiful romance?"
    "Wayne has written on that subject in his letters to his mother He thinks that she is amiable to the sort of relationship that Cory, Ugitsiha and. I share. We plan to sit down with the mother and daughter when we fly to Munedavia during the spring break at Oxford."

    I hated to do it, but there just weren't enough seats at the dining room table for all of us. Age before beauty was the rule as places were set for Philby and Eloise to one side. Ugitsiha and I took seats next to RD and Quemela while Beulah sat next to El. Cory and Sagi sat side by side at one end of the table while Andy sat at the other end.
    Kyle, Cullen, James, Del, and Wesley sat at the breakfast bar and Roddy, Ita, and Inagei sat at the small table in the kitchen. I would like to have had everyone at one table as we shared El's goose and a large pot roast that Sagi had prepared.
    It was almost eleven. I knew that the boys and I were going to join the students at Camp Christopher for a large feast at three. I was almost dreading having to eat two meals. I spent most of my dinner time with my wife just holding her and feeding her goose small bites of goose. She slapped my hand a few times when I goosed her, everybody else just smiled.
    I looked at Cory and saw that the same thoughts were on his mind. We had come to join our wives and children to have Christmas morning with them. El and Philby being there was not planned for, nor was the large dinner that she prepared for us.
    She looked at me and asked me if I liked her goose. I wiggled my eyebrows at her and got another slap from my wife. "That's your sister there." I hugged her to me and smiled. I had to explain our day's plans to her without hurting her feelings. I told her that it would be an honor to me and all of the students if the two of them would join us for dinner at the camp.
    "What a wonderful idea. Cold goose is one of our favorite snacks and the rest of the food can be warmed up. I would welcome a chance to have Christmas dinner with you and the boys." We heard a cheer from the bar as Cullen raised his glass of tea to his mother. I invited our wives and Beulah to join us, but was declined. I was told that they were happy to have the few hours together that we had shared, but that they needed to stay home and clean up the wrappings and straighten the house up. Isn't that just like a woman?
    Cullen wanted all of us to go formal. I agreed with him. He and Jimmy made a mad dash over to his room with the storybook castle painted on the walls. He returned with a white coat, his sash and his large medallion on his breast pocket. I knew what he expected of me.
    Eloise was resplendent in an off white gown. She wore her GBE on a sash across her bodice. Philby wore a dark suit with his GBE on a sash as well. I had to go to my bedroom to gather my bling. El has not been in my house through the last two remodels and Philby had never been there. I invited them to join me. Andy gathered everyone else up and headed them across the street where we could here a large Sikorsky setting down. I kissed my wife and led my sister and her husband down to the tunnel.
    Both of them were awe struck at the cavern. I had no time to show them around as I put the golf cart through its paces on a mad dash to my house. I guided them through the theater area and across the old recreation room then up the stairs to the main entrance of the house. While they were looking around I quietly moved the safe back into its place which hid the steps that we had just ascended.
    I made a mad rush toward my room for a quick change of clothes. I had no time for a much needed shower. I just put on black socks and a clean pair of underwear. I slipped into one of my monogrammed white shirts and grabbed a pair of cuff links and a tie clasp. I had my suit pants on and my shoes tied as I searched for my ribbon bar. With my tie in my hand and my coat draped over my arm I ran back down the stairs. Cory could help me get he tie just right and affix my ribbon bar over my coat's breast pocket.
    Andy had an SUV waiting at the door to take us across the street to the waiting blue bird. Our flight back to camp was quick and uneventful. My Caddy was still in the parking lot of the landing field so Cullen, El, and Philby joined me for a ride to building C. Jimmy joined the other boys in the long electric tram that Nolan had waiting for us.

    Carved into the granite lintel over the wide entry from the vestibule of the classroom building are my favorite words, "You blink away a tear and the boy is gone. Only one golden moment in his life is he free. "El stopped to read the quote. "What does that mean?"
    "Exactly what it says, dear sister. Boys are only young and free for a short time in their lives then they grow up and become men with the responsibilities of men. El, I want to savor every second of time with everyone of my boys. I need to feel their freedom and their innocent trust."
    "You are a hopeless romantic. Where is the quote from?"
    "It is from a song by Willie Nelson as sung behind the credits at the end of the 1995 movie, "Tom & Huck." She patted me on the cheek and smiled broadly.

    We passed through the building and were met with a beautiful sight. It was beautiful to me, but I was afraid that El would be offended. Prefect Felix was making a mad dash between building A that housed the students from BAW and his own building where the boys from BAF and BAP were housed. He wore only one shoe and he carried the other one. He was hopping on one foot as he tried to put on a pair of shorts on the run.
    "Pris Ya—caught you." I chided him in Franççais.
    "Je n'ai pas reçu le message.—I didn't get the message Pardonnez-moi, dame—pardon me, mam. Je ne veux pas vous offenser.—I do not want to offend you."
    "Je ne veux pas vous offenser.—I am not offended. Vous êtes très mignon, les filles vous aimez.—you are very cute, the girls will love you." I cleared my throat. "Vous ferez un garçon très heureux.—you will make some boy very happy." I didn't like where she was looking. Felix finished pulling up his shorts and said a quick farewell then dashed into his building.

    As we entered the communal cafeteria all of the boys began to sing God Save the Queen. The French boys took up Grand Dieu Sauve Le Roi which, to my untrained ear, sounded like the same song in Franççais. I was mortified when a group of BAW students stared to sing My Country Tis of Thee.

    I was furious. I jumped up on a bench and stepped to the middle of a table. I stepped down onto the bench on the other side, stepped across to the next bench and up on the table. I continued this until I had stepped into the middle of four tables and stood in front of the offenders. The room went absolutely silent as every eye turned to look at me. I stood looking down at six boys that will pay for this bit of immature merriment. I glared at them, they huddled together seeking protection from their neighbor. I shook my head and turned to the room.
    I bowed low toward Duke Philby, Lady Eloise, and King Cullen Muneday, "Your majesty, Your honors, I beg your forgiveness. This is a childish prank that deserves severe punishment. Punishment will be extracted in due course. Meanwhile I beg you to overlook this incident and enjoy the festivities of the day." I then directed only the British boys to sing what is sometimes referred to as a National Anthem.
    I quietly stepped down from the table and herded the guilty boys outside. I told them to return to their cubicles and try to find an argument against me placing them on a helicopter and returning them to the school.
    "But dad, we will miss Christmas dinner…," Glen started to protest.
    "You should have thought of that before you embarrassed our royal visitors, your fellow students, your school, and yourselves." I watched eyes, they were about to argue that Cullen wasn't a visitor. "Duke Philby as in line for succession to the Throne of England should anything happen to the Royal family. Dame Eloise is a Knight of the Realm and should always be treated with respect. Cullen is known to all of us and it is hard to think of him as a visitor. However, he did graduate for our school last spring and is now attending college in England He is visiting. When he visits he represents his country and its citizens. He must always be treated with the respect due his office."
    "We was just funning around."
    Have you ever wanted to take a kid and redden his derriere, or throttle him? "Clay, I always know that if there is mischief afoot you'll be in the thick of it and Glen will be tagging along.
    "Glen you are a little mimic, monkey see, monkey do. I don't know what to do with you two boys, but rest assured there is something special coming your way. This is not the end of it."
    "May we apologize to the Duke and his Lady?" That was the magic question.
    :"The Duke is a highly placed member of England's parliament. That is like a Senator or a Congress man in the US. Actually his position is equated to that of a Senator. He is a ranking member of the House Of Lords and should be addressed as such. Only one of you need speak, the rest of you may stand at attention behind your spokesman You will address the Duke only. You will use his title of Lord. You should start your apology with the greeting, 'Your Lordship…' Do not speak to his lady unless she asks you a direct question,
    "You must also apologize to all of the students with a heartfelt statement of your actions. Then you must apologize to your classmates, our family.
    "If you are prepared to go now I believe that there is a special surprise about to occur."
    "First of all, sir, we need to apologize to you. We embarrassed you in front of your sister and all of the students from the other schools. We have no excuse. It was a dumb and childish thing that we did. We will serve any punishment that you see fit to deal out. But may please have Christmas with everyone. I ain't never had Christmas in my life and I think that I fucked up the best chance ever to do the day,"
    That was more than I had ever heard Jayden say at one time before. I recalled his poignant letter to Santa as I pulled him to me and tousled his hair. he raised his eyes to mine and I bent down and kissed him. It was not a bad stretch, the boy stands six feet tall. All of my boys are growing much to fast.
    "Dad, I'm sorry. It was sorta my idea. I read somewhere that that My Country song was sorta plagiarized from the Brit's song and I thought that it would be funny. I sorta expected more of the boys to sing along, but I'm glad that they didn't. You would have probably thrown the turkey out and sent us all to bed. Turkey if my favorite.
    "Dad, is this considered a fungible? You know, we are trading our apology for the chance to eat turkey and dressing and cranberry sauce and pickled beets and mashed potatoes and gravy and corn on th cob and green bean casserole and hot bread and pies and…"
    Jayden was wound up, I placed my hand in front of his mouth, "You are making all of us hungry and it is almost time for our dinner to be served. Let's get on with what you have to do. As for fungible, you have the right idea, we will discuss it later. Just come to me and wait until I am alone." I kissed him again. The other boys looked as if they felt slighted, I gave each one a tonsil massage then let them enter the cafeteria.

    I followed the errant boys inside and listened with pride in my heart as each one stepped before Lord Philby and Lady Eloise then bowed low. One by one they next stepped before King Cullen and bowed even lower. I was glad to see that Cullen kept a regal presence about himself and did not break into a smile, or worse, his famous giggles.
    The boys stepped back then one by one began the most eloquent apologizes I have ever heard from the mouths of my boys. I had tears in my eyes by the time that they had each finished. Philby rose and bowed to his son, the King. "With your permission, Your Royal Majesty. Boys, on behalf or myself, my son, and my wife we accept your heart felt apology. Having once before been a boy ourselves we well understand the allure to such a prank. We see, how do you say it? oh yes, no harm, no foul. We are and will remain your friends."
    El smiled at the boys. "I was quite amused. I have heard the ancient tales of the two songs having a shady history. You have brought to mind the ties that combine our two nations. I am glad that my brother didn't tan your hides and send you to bed without partaking of the marvelous dinner that awaits us. It would be a shame for boy to miss Christmas day for any reason. I hope you will be allowed to resume your seats and enjoy the day." She smiled at me. I walked up behind the boys and spread my long arms to draw them together then guided them in the direction of their table.

    Strands of Jingle Bells began to play over the PA system then a hearty, "Ho, ho, ho sounded from the doorway at the main entrance to the cafeteria. Heads turned and all eyes looked to see if Santa had really come to Camp Christophe. RD stepped around the corner wearing a red felt vest and a red Santa cap. He had a red canvass bag as large as he was across his back as he walked into the room. "Sorry, guys, it just me, the jolly old elf. Santa is worn out from his trek around the globe last night, but he had a special gift, just for each of you. He asked me and my friends if we could bring them to you in person. so here we are."
    He moved on into the room as Jimmy, Turner, Craig, Lew, Trevor, Alec, Jerry, Tim, Art, and Jan, wearing green felt vests and green Santa caps, dragged large red canvass bags to the head of the tables. Oz, Jordan, Ellis, and Roger made a comedy of carrying Roddy in on a sedan chair. The boy was draped across the arms of the chair as if asleep. In his lap was a near finished moccasin. In his hand was a length of stitching. He appeared to have fallen asleep in the middle of his work.
    RD's voice boomed across the PA system, "Young Rodney has worked his fingers to the bone and Santa wanted to help him deliver to some very special people, you, these gifts made with love." With that the boys with the canvas bags began to pass out pairs of moccasins or moccasins boots to every boy in the room.
    RD stepped before Lord Philby and presented, first to Lady Eloise and then to Lord Philby a pair of Roddy's handmade moccasins. He then stood before King Cullen and passed him a pair of pink moccasins. The room broke up. Every boy was on his feet or standing on his seat or table to see. Cullen stood and bowed to Roddy then turned his back and bent over with two little birds to each side. "I thank you from the bottom of my hard, young cousin."
    El was scolding Cullen for his actions. I leaned over from my seat beside her, "Remember, dear sis, that Cullen is not their King, he is their buddy and classmate. Let the students enjoy their day."

    "Tower to papa! Tower to papa. Oh my god, sir, you better get out here, right now. Wear a jacket and put on your official face. Hurry, please sir."
    "Papa is moving." I dashed from the building as all eyes followed me. My Caddy was still parked in front of the classroom building so I ran for that. I could see a large plane making its final approach for landing as I pushed the pedal to the metal along the wide, newly paved road from building C to the landing field.
    As I pulled up to the field I saw the Royal Emblem on the tail rudder of the 747. Was I receiving an unannounced visit from the Royal Family? My ground crew was moving the truck mounted steps into position as I pulled up across the bottom of the stairs. The door opened and a single figure stood in the frame of it. I stepped from my SUV and recognized His Royal Highness, Prince William Wales.
    With the exuberance of youth in his step he rushed down the steps toward me. I bowed before him, but before I could bend all of the way down he reached out and took my hand. He raised me then bowed to me. "It is I that will do the honors here, Sir Chris. He put forth his arms and we embraced in a very warm hug.
    "I have come to share this Christmas day with a very special man and his students. We understand that the students of your school at Brighton are sharing a holiday at your mountain retreat. We have been told that there are students from all of your schools in attendance here?"
    "First of all, your Highness. Welcome to the United States and to Camp Christopher, retreat for boys. You will make up your mind right now if you will be using the familiar or the third person form of address. We prefer to visit with a friend. You first addressed yourself in the first person when you said, 'I have come to share this Christmas day…' Then you changed into the third person form of we. Sire, just for today can we be just plain friends without titles?
    "In answer to your indirect question. Yes, I have all eighteen hundred and sixty two of the students from all six of my schools, both here and across Europe, spending eight weeks with me here at this mountain retreat. I would like to invite you to spend as much of that time with us as you can. However, I must remind you that my schools are for gay youth. We are entertaining my sister and her family today or the boys would be as naked as the day that they were born. We don't wish to impose our lifestyle on others. I only wish to make the matter clear. Should you choose to stay with us for a time you will see, what many in the world will call, sexual depravity."
    "That many boys. I did not realize, but never the matter. He turned to a footman standing at attention behind him and spoke in quiet tones then turned to me. Shall we go see your sister then?"

    As we made the two mile drive back to the camp I pointed out some of he features to the young Prince. He nodded and made comments at the appropriate places. I purposely returned to building C so that I could lead my guest through the building and through the dormitory area before entering the cafeteria.
    I shared a little of the history of the camp with him—how I came to own it. The construction of the new buildings, and etc. I offered him a horseback ride to the upper camp on the mountain and a swim in the small lake up there. I was planning to lead the first expedition of boys up for a week of naked romping through the forest on the day after Christmas. I thought that maybe I would delay the boys trip by one day and take El and Philby along with the Prince for a day of sight seeing.
    As we neared the cafeteria I spotted something that I could make use of. I picked up t hiking pike from a stack in a corner. I smiled at my guest as I guided him to the door of the large hall. RD and his helpers were checking their bags for any missed gifts. I called him over and asked him to remove his cap and vest and make an announcement.
    RD stamped the walking Pike on the floor three times in true regal fashion. Before the echos of the first strike faded away every eye in the room was looking at him in anticipation of what was to come next. He stood to attention as his deep voice echoed through the hall, with the aid of the PA system. "His Royal Highness, Prince William Wales.
    I allowed Prince William to choose his own seat at the head table. To my embarrassment he choose the seat to my left leaving Philby and Ell to my right with Cullen at the very end. Jimmy hurried in with the other elves and rhey took their seats just as the kitchen doors opened.
    The combined kitchen help staff from all six schools began to roll in carts with tall stacks of plates and trays of flatware. Short order was made of getting two plates, a bowl, and flatware to each boy. A staff member in a white coat with tails placed the same assortment of table service before each of us at the head table. Shortly after that chore was completed the staff help returned with carts laden with large covered dishes which were quickly placed about six feet apart along each table.
    Our waiter sat four large covered dishes on our table, two to each end, as well as four smaller covered bowls. Another helper was passing through the room with pats of butter which he placed on each of the smaller plates. Right behind him came a young man with a cart with cloth covered baskets of hot dinner rolls. A cook moved in front of us and served us a salad as other kitchen helpers sat large bowls of salad before the boys at their tables.
    The kitchen doors opened once again and Gigage-fgb led the parade with what every mouth in the room was waiting for. Gigage made his way to the head table and carved the largest Tom turkey in the entire county. He served King Cullen first and told him he should wait for his dinner then laughed his very infectious laugh. Next he served El then he served the Prince, Philby and I were served last. That is as it should be, but damn I was anxious to dig into that thick slice of white breast meat.
    Other kitchen staff were pacing before us with the bowls of potatoes, dressing, and peas. Cranberry sauce was served up along with two inch ears of corn on skewers. Green bean casserole, candied yams, more corn, more hot dinner rolls, extra butter, second helpings of potatoes and dressing were circulating the table and the gravy boat never seemed to be diminished of its contents. Thank goodness it didn't sink. I asked for a plate with sideboards to contain all of the all of the food before me.
    Gigage looked my plate over and told me that all of the large salad bowls were in use. The table laughed until he looked at their plates and shook his head. I looked about the room. The boys were filling their faces with one hand and passing bowls of food along with the other. The turkeys were set at ten feet spacing along each table and the chefs had carved each bird to the bone.
    I saw something that made me proud of the cooks. Each table had a platter with turkey legs on it. I saw eight or nine boys at each table with a drumstick in his hand and a fork full of potatoes and gravy in the other. I looked over at Jayden and his cohorts. We made eye contact and I was saluted with a drumstick and a smile. I smiled back at him. I am so glad that a solution to the earlier incident was worked out. I would have skipped dinner myself and sat with them had it not. I have a whole bunch of neat boys and I will not part with a single one of them until they are ready.
    I looked about for Cory. I had wanted him to sit beside me. He told me that I should sit next to my sister in in a seat of honor. He said that it was not the place for a boyfriend. I told him that he was more than a boyfriend to me and he knew. "Besides," I had told him, "Jimmy will be sitting next to Cullen." He grinned at me then he told me that he had something special in mind.
    I was very thankful that I had just washed down the bite of food in my mouth before I spotted him. I am sure that I would have sprayed ABC—already been chewed—food onto the first two rows of tables.

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